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[quote=Anonymous]I would do nothing to help her academically, especially since she's clearly already exploring the resources she has. She'll figure that part out. If she squeaks through with a middling grade, that's okay too. It's more important to get good grades in your major.

BUT

I would figure out how to support her emotionally. I think your dynamic needs a reset. She is catastrophizing and your instinct is "how can I fix this". This is not a great dynamic and will only get worse as she gets older. I would try a few different things to see if you can shift it.

I know this book is for younger kids but I recommend taking a look at [I]How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk[/I]. The first few chapters of that book are really just about communication, and developing empathy for kids by thinking about how you like to be spoken to when you are having a hard time. Like it's been a while, but I think they do hypothetical where you have a bad day at work and get yelled at by your boss, and then describe your partner and friends responding to you in ways that many parents speak to their kids -- telling them it's no big deal, telling them to get over it, overreacting and getting mad, trying to fix it, etc. When you think about it in an adult context, it's easy to see why none of this stuff works. Then the book mostly talks about validating, asking questions, expressing faith in them that they can figure it out, etc. It think it would actually apply well to this situation and is a chance for you to change how you two interact as she's getting older, and you become more of a friendly advisor than an authority figure.[/quote]

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