How often do your parents or in-laws visit and stay in your house?

[Anonymous]

I always stay in a hotel when I visit. I like to give everyone space.

[Anonymous]

I really think it is fine for even close relatives to stay in hotels and motels…or airbnbs.

I live in Manhattan so this is doable albeit expensive.

I do have houseguests stay over in a separate bedroom with an en suite. Three night maximum.

I also believe houseguests getting a free place to stay should provide or pay for one dinner per night of stay….takeout or go out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never! *takes a bow*

+1

Fil is dead and we haven't heard from mil in 18 years so we dont even know if she's still alive.

My mother lives 3 blocks away and we have minimal contact

You must be so proud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom comes about 3-4 nights a month (usually separate overnights- she lives 2 hrs away). We are very close to her and she is helpful and comes because she is invited. We do take trips with her and her partner as well, but each year she treats everyone (also my sister's family) to a big vacation. We have done some smaller scale trips with just her where we go dutch. DH parents have kind of checked out and last visited a few years ago and they were in town for a separate reason.

What do you mean by "she is helpful?" I think I'd be more on board with family visits if they cooked their own meals or did dishes once in awhile, or watched the kids while we went out.

She is becoming slightly less helpful as she ages (my kids are aged 6-14) - but she was incredibly helpful with the older ones and has built up a lot of goodwill. She can be loud and a little bit annoying (and DH is the type who can get easily annoyed) but he even calls her to invite her if we haven't seen her in over a week. He appreciates how much she loves our kids. Even still, at 75, she brings dinner when she comes, does laundry, knows where all our dishes go, can do everyone's pick ups and drop offs at all their activities without needing detailed instructions (e.g.., she will just google a location rather than ask me for directions), takes the dog for walks, and is good for about a half day of child care with the 6 year old, if, let's say he is home sick from school. She visits the kids at school for lunch, goes on field trips with them, and just loves knowing their friends and their daily lives. She usually comes during the week - meets them off the school bus, takes them to whatever activity du jour they are in (or hangs out with the ones not in an activity), and then drops the kids in at school so they have a break from the early morning middle school bus.

Clean your own house

I was just responding to pp who asked if she helped. We certainly don’t ask her to do those things, and often ask her explicitly not to, but I was just surprised how much everyone has such a distant relationship with their parents. My kids sleepover with gramma when she comes and invite her for every holiday and birthday and school performance. She has made the guest suite her own and always has treats stashed away for the kids (they knock on the bedroom door and “trick or treat” year round.) when she had her knees and shoulders replaced she stayed with us for weeks at a time to recover until she was too bored and ready to her busy urban life. I am anxious, introverted, and need my space /alone time, but having a close relationship is worth the annoying parts for me.