How often do your parents or in-laws visit and stay in your house?

[Anonymous]

Each comes for a long weekend twice a year and we go to see them (same location basically) twice a year. So at least four visits a year.

[Anonymous]

ILS come 1-2 times a year from the west coast. My parent are local and I can count the times they’ve been to our house on one hand. We’ve been living here for 8 years.

[Anonymous]

We have been 3-4 hours away from our families for about 20 years. In that time, my in laws hardly ever visited us/very rarely stayed with us. Maybe 3 or 4 times in those 20 years. They've both passed on now.

My parents will visit at least 4 times a year, but usually only stay 1 or 2 days. My mom has also started staying separately for a week or so once or twice a year.

We see them a lot, probably more than we would like in "ideal" circumstances. But my parents are in their 80s, my dad has cancer, they're the only grandparents my young child has left. So we see them a lot, even if it's sometimes stressful or obnoxious. It's not going to be forever.

I'm not going to be one of those people that tells you to see them while you have them though - if the visits feel like too much for you, then you should make a change.

[Anonymous]

In laws are local so they do not. My parents come from overseas so 3 weeks to a month at a time but at the very most once a year, often more every other year.

[Anonymous]

Never. They live 20 min away. We drop kids over there for a Friday or Saturday night once a month at least and go to brunch with them. Or they come over for dinner etc. we vacation with my parents annually. We did one trip with my in laws in the 15 years we have been married but before kids as they are much older and don't get out much.

[Anonymous]

3-4 times a year, but they are good about babysitting and buying meals when they are here. It's still probably more than my spouse would care for, and I have to remind him how much they do for us, especially around the kids. When we go on trips with them, never more than once a year, they pay for the accommodations, but I try to cover a few meals. My parents are much more generous than my in-laws. All they do is take from us. We send them money every month. When they visit, they are a liability, not a help.

[Anonymous]

My ILs, never. They don't travel, even though we only live a three hour drive away. They don't know how to have a relationship with someone who doesn't live in town.

My parents live in California. They generally come for about 10 days 2-3 times a year. They are very helpful visitors and we have a guest room/bath in our basement so they are very easy to have for a longer visit.

[Anonymous]

My parents stay in a hotel. In laws stay in the house. So, so very annoying. When I have grandkids I am not staying in my kids' house. Or probably ever when they are married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never! *takes a bow*

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never! *takes a bow*

+1

Fil is dead and we haven't heard from mil in 18 years so we dont even know if she's still alive.

My mother lives 3 blocks away and we have minimal contact

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom comes about 3-4 nights a month (usually separate overnights- she lives 2 hrs away). We are very close to her and she is helpful and comes because she is invited. We do take trips with her and her partner as well, but each year she treats everyone (also my sister's family) to a big vacation. We have done some smaller scale trips with just her where we go dutch. DH parents have kind of checked out and last visited a few years ago and they were in town for a separate reason.

What do you mean by "she is helpful?" I think I'd be more on board with family visits if they cooked their own meals or did dishes once in awhile, or watched the kids while we went out.

She is becoming slightly less helpful as she ages (my kids are aged 6-14) - but she was incredibly helpful with the older ones and has built up a lot of goodwill. She can be loud and a little bit annoying (and DH is the type who can get easily annoyed) but he even calls her to invite her if we haven't seen her in over a week. He appreciates how much she loves our kids. Even still, at 75, she brings dinner when she comes, does laundry, knows where all our dishes go, can do everyone's pick ups and drop offs at all their activities without needing detailed instructions (e.g.., she will just google a location rather than ask me for directions), takes the dog for walks, and is good for about a half day of child care with the 6 year old, if, let's say he is home sick from school. She visits the kids at school for lunch, goes on field trips with them, and just loves knowing their friends and their daily lives. She usually comes during the week - meets them off the school bus, takes them to whatever activity du jour they are in (or hangs out with the ones not in an activity), and then drops the kids in at school so they have a break from the early morning middle school bus.

Clean your own house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs, never. They don't travel, even though we only live a three hour drive away. They don't know how to have a relationship with someone who doesn't live in town.

My parents live in California. They generally come for about 10 days 2-3 times a year. They are very helpful visitors and we have a guest room/bath in our basement so they are very easy to have for a longer visit.

If they are k,der it’s far. Why can’t you go?

[Anonymous]

Never. I live in a tiny one bedroom apartment. My brother lives nearby in a literal mansion with eight bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Each comes for a long weekend twice a year and we go to see them (same location basically) twice a year. So at least four visits a year.

This happened when our kids were little and we were in a different house. When we moved, we no longer had a guest bedroom and as the kids and grandparents got older, everyone needed or wanted their own space. Especially our parents and they went to a hotel.

DH’s parents have passed away now but before that, did not come for the probably 8 years. Mine have come once or twice in the past 5 years. They like their own house more and the teens are not as fun for them. We go see them once per year now. It’s a flight away.

[Anonymous]

My parents live on the opposite coast and for a long time they would come stay for a week once a year (sometimes twice) and we would visit them once a year. That was our vacation for the year, usually. My mom's become quite frail and I've recently realized that they'll probably never fly cross country again, therefore never visit us again.

My ILs used to live out of state and their stays with us were starting to be quarterly, it was too much. They finally moved to be nearer their kids (SIL is near us) which was a relief in many ways. We vacation with them about once every two years.