Uhh.. I just want to be left alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce? People change. Honestly sounds like you have outgrown this relationship.

+1

[Anonymous]

Is he doing specific things that are maddening (micromanagement of dishwasher loading, frequently interrupting with “where’s the butter” type questions, making disruptive noise), or is it just that he’s there all the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he doing specific things that are maddening (micromanagement of dishwasher loading, frequently interrupting with “where’s the butter” type questions, making disruptive noise), or is it just that he’s there all the time?

He's constantly talking to me and pacing around. He doesn't seem to function without telling me every movement he makes and the floor squeeks nonstop when he walks on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he doing specific things that are maddening (micromanagement of dishwasher loading, frequently interrupting with “where’s the butter” type questions, making disruptive noise), or is it just that he’s there all the time?

He's constantly talking to me and pacing around. He doesn't seem to function without telling me every movement he makes and the floor squeeks nonstop when he walks on it.

Beach eating crackers

Either your marriage is done or you need some HRT

[Anonymous]

Been there OP! DH works from home twice a week and I usually leave the house to work elsewhere on those days. I don't have an office to go to, I genuinely wish I did -- my company is full time remote and I really miss the separation between work and home.

I will note that when I tell him about specific things he does at home that bother me, he is receptive to them. My main issue is that he often gets stressed while working and has these loud and stressed calls in our shared home office or will be kind of muttering to himself while dealing with an annoying project, and I find it really distracting. My job can also be stressful but requires a lot of concentration. Often I have to write or edit these lengthy, in-depth reports and I've learned that the only way I can do it with him around is if I wear noise canceling head phones and move to another room, which I don't like doing because I have my desk set up the way I like it and the headphones get hot and itchy after a while.

Anyway, I've explained this to him and he has actually made an effort to be a little more self aware when working from home. He will now go take phone calls in a bedroom so I don't have to listen (sometimes I can still hear him though!) and I think he's started to think of me more as a regular colleague where you have to police your behavior a bit. But even with that, I still leave to go work at a coworking space or a coffee shop sometimes. He's sweet and if I have to leave, he will encourage me to treat myself to a nice lunch or to pay the day fee at a coworking spot.

We are looking to move in a couple years and one of my priorities is a workspace just for me. My dream is actually to get something with an ADU, or build one, so I have a truly separate space. Then I could have privacy while I work plus get that separation between work and home that I crave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he doing specific things that are maddening (micromanagement of dishwasher loading, frequently interrupting with “where’s the butter” type questions, making disruptive noise), or is it just that he’s there all the time?

He's constantly talking to me and pacing around. He doesn't seem to function without telling me every movement he makes and the floor squeeks nonstop when he walks on it.

What is this...my husband does this too. If he is going upstairs/downstairs/doing anything I get an announcement:
"Marie, I'm coming upstairs."
"Marie, I'm making lunch"
"Marie I'm going to the bathroom"
I've talked to friends and some of their husbands do it too.
Plus, my husband is loud and wants to chat all day with me if we are both working from home. Sometimes I love it but other times it becomes a problem when I need to focus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he doing specific things that are maddening (micromanagement of dishwasher loading, frequently interrupting with “where’s the butter” type questions, making disruptive noise), or is it just that he’s there all the time?

He's constantly talking to me and pacing around. He doesn't seem to function without telling me every movement he makes and the floor squeeks nonstop when he walks on it.

Examples? Like Im going to go poop?

[Anonymous]

This is why I want my own room.

I’m constantly wishing I had my own room with my own bed where I keep my stuff and close the door. Being married sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is why I want my own room.

I’m constantly wishing I had my own room with my own bed where I keep my stuff and close the door. Being married sucks.

You can end it. I'd feel terrible if that's how my spouse felt about being home with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is why I want my own room.

I’m constantly wishing I had my own room with my own bed where I keep my stuff and close the door. Being married sucks.

You can end it. I'd feel terrible if that's how my spouse felt about being home with me.

She is lazy and needs him to support her.
And she knows it!

[Anonymous]

It's not just you, OP!

My husband went from working in an office, to laid off, to working from home with one day a week in the office, to RTO everyday, to retired.

Other than Covid times, I've always done a mix of WFH and in office. My current job is open office plan/hot desking, which means home is the only place I can close a door and get work done.

We each have our own home office on different floors, but he's a wanderer when home, is constantly on the phone and is a loud talker, and usually has the TV on.

If I don't have at least half a day at home alone - my nerves are shot, so I schedule my WFH days when I know he'll be out running errands.

It's partly a me issue, but also partly a him issue (he gets hurt if I run down stairs to get a snack or drink and can't talk or go for a walk with the dog because I have a call in 2 minutes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in your 40s? Anecdotally among my friends there seems to be a surge of annoyance at our husbands at this stage of life. Does yours chew loudly? Aaahgh!!!!!!

As my aunt said to my mom recently, "It's not that we married the wrong people. It's that marriage is long."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look into DayUse hotels. You can sneak away for peace. Sure it costs a little $$ but worth your sanity.

+1. Go with your AP. Or find one there.

I said I wanted PEACE.

Good lord. The last thing I need is another person who wants something from me.

[Anonymous]

Get a studio apartment, decorate it however you want, go there whenever you want for alone time. If the time comes that you want to move in there, do that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is injured, so in this case you need to leave for the day.

I get it, but it seems cruel to be having a fit about alone time when he's home with an injury.

Not really. Why is he pacing so much if he has a leg injury?

Dude needs to chill and stay in his office. Wearing a boot isn’t an excuse for being an emotional vampire and harassing his wife nonstop.