What are parents afraid of their kids reading?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t censor your kids. I can see the point of a PP saying my kid is 7 or 8 and will have nightmares. But by 11, let it go. Let them read. They’ll be fine.

11 year olds can also have nightmares. But the bigger issue is that they might read something very adult for which they have no real context, and it can lead to anxiety (especially if they are too embarrassed to talk to you or another trusted adult about it) or a skewed misunderstanding of an important topic.

My nephew is really into science fiction, for instance, which I also love. So I get him tons of books based on things I've read. But a lot of sci-fi has sex, violence, and let's say "interesting" ideas about relationships and morality. The stuff I read isn't offensive but sometimes you need to be in on the joke, or understand certain references, in order to get what they are saying. If you take it literally, you might think a book is advocating for misogyny or racism when it's actually a criticism of it. Also some sci-fi is loaded with misogyny and racism. Anyway, I'm selective about what I give him and also think about what order he should read things in to understand best. I'm not censoring books for him but I'm also not just handing an 11 year old a book filled with sex and violence like "have fun, I'm sure you'll figure it out!" He's still a child.

[Anonymous]

But the elephant in the room is that you think by censoring these books the child isn’t exposed to the problem subjects. Naïveté on a pretty startling scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But the elephant in the room is that you think by censoring these books the child isn’t exposed to the problem subjects. Naïveté on a pretty startling scale.

So what? I don’t want my 9 year old to read books with explicit sex scenes. Yes, maybe he’ll see explicit sex scenes elsewhere. That’s possible. But he’s not checking them out from the library.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But the elephant in the room is that you think by censoring these books the child isn’t exposed to the problem subjects. Naïveté on a pretty startling scale.

Kids might have sex some day so should I just allow it in the home? Or they might experiment with drinking so should they just help themselves to a drink after school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But the elephant in the room is that you think by censoring these books the child isn’t exposed to the problem subjects. Naïveté on a pretty startling scale.

So parents should just stop parenting? At what age would you be ok with a child reading 50 Shades of Grey?

[Anonymous]

I read Stephen King books in elementary school and found out Santa wasn’t real by reading something… Superfudge maybe? In kindergarten.

I liked those books, but if my sensitive and nightmare prone 5 year old suddenly began to read above level I’d 💯 unapologetically screen the books he wanted to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But the elephant in the room is that you think by censoring these books the child isn’t exposed to the problem subjects. Naïveté on a pretty startling scale.

No one said that we didn't think kids aren't be exposed to subjects like sex or drugs use or violence at all. But also: a lot of kids really aren't being exposed to all of it these days. It's not like the 80s when kids watched tons of TV their parents were not aware of and were learning about stuff from music videos and sitcoms. My kids and their friends actually really do know very little about these subjects, and what they do know they are mostly getting from trusted adults and not a steady diet of adult-focused popular culture.

That's actually specifically why parents are trying to be thoughtful about what books they recommend to their kids and when they are exposed to these subjects. Because kids today are often more naive than we were at the same age, sex and violence has not been normalized for them in the same way, and they are often more sensitive to it. Pushing them off the deep end without a life preserver isn't going to help anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But the elephant in the room is that you think by censoring these books the child isn’t exposed to the problem subjects. Naïveté on a pretty startling scale.

So parents should just stop parenting? At what age would you be ok with a child reading 50 Shades of Grey?

This. It's also not censorship to give your kid age appropriate content. If my 10 year old picked out a book on calculus at the library, I'd be like "it might be better for you to read this book on algebra first." I'm not censoring the calculus, I just know my kid won't understand it and I want him to understand some preliminary concepts first.

[Anonymous]

Anything pro maga or pro Nazi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But the elephant in the room is that you think by censoring these books the child isn’t exposed to the problem subjects. Naïveté on a pretty startling scale.

What book was the girl trying to check out? Seems like this was all just a front to get to the point you actually want to make. You were paying very close attention, so what was it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I was at the library the other day and a girl who looked about 11 years old came in with a woman who was presumably her mom. She picked out a book for school her and brought it to her mom and her mom kept insisting the book is inappropriate and wouldn't let her check out the book. Just why. What the fuсk was she afraid of her kid reading? It's not like she was checking out a porn magazine.

What was the book?

Right? OP asks what the mom was afraid of her kid reading, so...what was it? I have always let my kid read pretty much whatever she wanted, but there are, in fact, books that aren't appropriate for all kids or all ages. I wouldn't check out a book with graphic violence for her, for example.

Or maybe the book wasn't appropriate for the school assignment that the kid was doing.

I am 100 percent against governmental or institutional censorship, but parents have the right and even the obligation to pay attention to what their kids are reading, and a parent deciding that something isn't appropriate for their kid isn't necessarily nefarious.

[Anonymous]

Another parent of a voracious, above grade level reader here. My third grader reads above grade level and is also rather sensitive, so yeah I pay attention and may guide him away from certain things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hunger Games. My 10 year old asked about it recently and after I told him the plot he was like "thats horrible I would have nightmares!". But he was going to read it before he knew the plot because he'd heard other kids were.

Maybe some young adult books involving suicide. Some are pretty dark. If you have a sensitive kid, its not something id want them to dwell on at that age.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. That book haunts me decades later.

These are the things that immediately come to mind. Im certain there are thousands others. All media comes in a variety of themes. Just like you wouldn't want an 11 year old to watch all movies, or sit in on all group discussions, or view all paintings, books are the same.

What you put in your head stays there. Its Ok to tell 11 year olds they arent ready for particular books.

I almost recommended that trilogy to my 11-year old and then I was like well, maybe we'll wait. It can be an easy-ish read if you don't think too deeply about it, but the murdering of other children is pretty intense. I loved the books but read them as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our 4th grader wanted to read The Hunger Games because everyone else was, I read them first. And then I spoke to the school reading specialist, because I thought the themes were too mature. She told me [am paraphrasing, becaus that kid is out of college now and my memory isn't what it was], if your kid is interested in reading, let them read. If they don't understand something, it'll go over their head, and if they are interested, they'll ask you about it. If they already "get it," it's not too mature for them.

I've always gone with that strategy, and all 3 of our kids were and are voracious readers who have done well inside of school and outside of school

Disagree hardcore. For many inquisitive and sensitive kids nothing goes over their head. They dont fully understand it so they maybe cant discuss or ask, but it makes them anxious. If you have that kid (i have one like this) it is good to protect them.

Unrelated to this response but I stopped getting the newspaper when my kids were old enough to read because I didn't want them picking up the front page. "If they want to read let them read" is the stupidest laziest response imo. There are many many many good options to read. Its ok to say no to the less good options. Its not like they are going to hear that and think "ok then ill just never read again"... come on.

[Anonymous]

I knew a very conservative woman who only let her daughters read the first couple of Little House books. She didn't want her girls exposed to the "courting" of Laura in ... whatever book Alonzo started courting her. (The Long Winter, maybe?)

So whatever the parent doesn't want their children to know about, or especially, to ask questions about, is what they consider inappropriate.