Boys are insane!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the kids it’s the parenting

This. We’re a “girl family” that vacations with a “boy family”. The boys are high energy and, yes, feral at times. BUT they know when the right time for that is and we make sure they get A Lot of time to be wild and crazy in a way that doesn’t bother others. Frankly the girls are feral by midweek as well. Their parents have high standards for manners and respect and the kids meet those standards. Theres none of this boys will be boys and so no expectations garbage.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had that kind of energy, I would be killing it in life.

[Anonymous]

My son is the quiet bookworm type (inattentive ADHD, not hyperactive). My daughter was the one who tended to run around, but not excessively. Some of my son's friends at that age were VERY EXCITABLE, and yes, some had hyperactive ADHD. Their parents were trying hard to manage their behaviors, but at that age, with severe ADHD, there's only so much you can do. I've seen parents just announce "that's it, we're going home because you can't behave". But when the kids were with me, I never had the heart to call their parents and ask that they be picked up early. Even when one rappelled down the outside of my staircase, or the other swung a bat at my dining room chandelier. They all grew out of it.

- parent of adults and high schoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the kids it’s the parenting

This. We’re a “girl family” that vacations with a “boy family”. The boys are high energy and, yes, feral at times. BUT they know when the right time for that is and we make sure they get A Lot of time to be wild and crazy in a way that doesn’t bother others. Frankly the girls are feral by midweek as well. Their parents have high standards for manners and respect and the kids meet those standards. Theres none of this boys will be boys and so no expectations garbage.

You've seen the boys with their parents and your girls. You haven't seen them at a friend's drop off birthday party with 8 other boys. It is not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher I often wonder if some of these boys have ever been made to do anything. Ever.

Well, as the teacher why can't you make them do something? It sounds easy, no?

[Anonymous]

OP we just experienced similar - it was a lot and I was wiped out. The reality is that they rile each other up and basically all revert to the level of the most disorderly kid. We've had various pairings of the kids over before and it's been fine. All together it was craziness.

Honestly I think depending on the # of kids, having just the 2 parents of the bday kid is not enough. It's almost a throwback to preschool era where you need a couple more hands on deck or ideally the parent of some of the poorly behaved kids to stay.

Gender is part of it, choice of activity matters a ton, but the number of kids (and ratio with adults) is simply a big part as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion:

It’s normal and it has no indication that they won’t ever “catch up to girls”.

I actually love it and make sure activities lend to being “feral”.

Take them to a creek, or to climb trees, or have them play capture the flag or back yard football,

I sent my kids to all boys school for elementary so they could be a boy and run, jump, burn energy and learn in many ways besides sitting and sitting and sitting,

I think it would benefit a lot of girls too.

Yeah, I don't really understand the issue here. Boys that age have an incredible amount of energy and exuberance and they're extremely social. I think maybe sometimes it's shocking to parents of girls because girls at the same age are generally so much more sedate. It's a lot, sure, but it's also fun, and I wouldn't trade it for dealing with girls when they turn 13 or 14. That sounds so much worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you take a bunch of boys on a birthday outing, they’re going to go a little crazy. It is what it is.

Also - I have a 10 year old boy. I could invite 9 of his friends to a party and it would be fine. But if 1 maybe 2 particular friends joined, the whole thing would go off the rails. They aren’t bad kids, especially 1 on 1 or in small groups. But in big groups they turn on the clown performance, and the other kids either feel pressured to keep up with him, or become disregulated and upset if he’s doing something he shouldn’t, or they start laughing and getting silly. Now all of a sudden you have a party where 2 of the kids are upset and want to go home, 1 kid is noticing that 2 kids are upset and is now uneasy himself, 1 kid is taking it too far and about to get into a shoving match with another kid, a few normally good kids are starting to like, throw popcorn or smear food because another kid egged them on … I could go on.

As a teacher and parent, this! For boys (and to some extent, girls) there are always going to be these kids. And usually, they are “the most fun” to other kids. Parents, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher I often wonder if some of these boys have ever been made to do anything. Ever.

Well, as the teacher why can't you make them do something? It sounds easy, no?

+1 And teachers know kids do not behave at home with family the same way they do in a single classroom with 28 other kids. The parents aren't in the classroom, so it is on the teacher to make and enforce rules and guide behavior in that abnormal enviroment that parents can't recreate at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP we just experienced similar - it was a lot and I was wiped out. The reality is that they rile each other up and basically all revert to the level of the most disorderly kid. We've had various pairings of the kids over before and it's been fine. All together it was craziness.

Honestly I think depending on the # of kids, having just the 2 parents of the bday kid is not enough. It's almost a throwback to preschool era where you need a couple more hands on deck or ideally the parent of some of the poorly behaved kids to stay.

Gender is part of it, choice of activity matters a ton, but the number of kids (and ratio with adults) is simply a big part as well.

OP here and this was largely it. It was a group of 7. They've all been in our home or at activities with us before, but usually no more than 3 at time. To be clear, these are good kids. They aren't disrespectful or intentionally disruptive/ destructive. They are "well-parented" for whatever that means. They even respond "ok" to redirection, but the amount of redirection they need and the impulsiveness is off the charts.

One minor example: when we got to our location and got out the cars, they just took off running in a busy parking lot. They didn't even know where they running to... just a mass of 3rd graders sprinting into a heads-on collision with a SUV. My son has never ran in a parking lot and I know the others know better. But together they turned into wild pack animals. I'm joking (mostly) don't come at me for that phrasing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher I often wonder if some of these boys have ever been made to do anything. Ever.

Well, as the teacher why can't you make them do something? It sounds easy, no?

+1 And teachers know kids do not behave at home with family the same way they do in a single classroom with 28 other kids. The parents aren't in the classroom, so it is on the teacher to make and enforce rules and guide behavior in that abnormal enviroment that parents can't recreate at home.

The tone and expectations start at home. Today’s parents are so lazy. When we call home to inform parents of poor behavior, they just shrug and say they can’t help.

Parents are the problem.

[Anonymous]

They don’t have to be. Good parenting results in well behaved boys. Sadly, many parents let their boys act wild and don’t teach them to behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion:

It’s normal and it has no indication that they won’t ever “catch up to girls”.

I actually love it and make sure activities lend to being “feral”.

Take them to a creek, or to climb trees, or have them play capture the flag or back yard football,

I sent my kids to all boys school for elementary so they could be a boy and run, jump, burn energy and learn in many ways besides sitting and sitting and sitting,

I think it would benefit a lot of girls too.

This sounds good unless a boy has a birthday in the dead of winter and outdoor activities aren't an option. We knew this and picked an activity that actually required burning off energy, but they only amped up...they never came down from that high energy level 😆. Hopefully, they were exhausted by the time they got home and their parents are appreciative

[Anonymous]

And girls are whiny and will back stab you for being prettier starting in 3rd grade! See how stereotyping is wrong.

[Anonymous]

I have a boy and a girl and they are both fun and challenging. My girl has ADHD so I don’t find the “high energy boy” stereotype to be particularly accurate (and feel people can be very harsh with active girls when the same behavior is totally acceptable for a boy…) but I do agree with the “pack” activity for boys this age. They really do amp each other up in a way even very active girls don’t. It’s a real challenge for teachers who have a couple wild/funny/mischievous boys in the same class. My kid is pretty middle of the road and I’ve been pretty surprised how wild he can get in specific situations! We do emphasize a LOT of activity and sports for both kids.