College DD is Driving me Crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs seem to be dismissing this, but the period issue and fatigue could be something, depending on how often she has a missed/irregular period.

That's her biggest concern. She has 12x cycles a year, but the cycle length changes constantly. It will be 28 days for a few months, then change the next month, then stay on that schedule or change again the next month, and repeat.

So she’s worried about PCOS/hormonal imbalance?
Lots of people here can tell you their experience with PCOS and fertility, and that can help reassure her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs seem to be dismissing this, but the period issue and fatigue could be something, depending on how often she has a missed/irregular period.

That's her biggest concern. She has 12x cycles a year, but the cycle length changes constantly. It will be 28 days for a few months, then change the next month, then stay on that schedule or change again the next month, and repeat.

If she has 12 cycles per year, then it sounds like she is pretty regular. Cycles can vary in days. It’s only clinically irregular if there is more than a few days difference between cycles, as in more than 10 days difference with each cycle. If she is getting period monthly +/- a few days then that is considered regular. Even if she is somewhat irregular, that doesn’t mean PCOS, at all. The most common reason for irregular periods in younger women is stress, diet, and exercise. Someone with an anxiety disorder is likely to feel stressed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs seem to be dismissing this, but the period issue and fatigue could be something, depending on how often she has a missed/irregular period.

That's her biggest concern. She has 12x cycles a year, but the cycle length changes constantly. It will be 28 days for a few months, then change the next month, then stay on that schedule or change again the next month, and repeat.

If she has 12 cycles per year, then it sounds like she is pretty regular. Cycles can vary in days. It’s only clinically irregular if there is more than a few days difference between cycles, as in more than 10 days difference with each cycle. If she is getting period monthly +/- a few days then that is considered regular. Even if she is somewhat irregular, that doesn’t mean PCOS, at all. The most common reason for irregular periods in younger women is stress, diet, and exercise. Someone with an anxiety disorder is likely to feel stressed

It ranges usually and sometimes there’s a more than a 5-6 day difference, it could be anything but she refuses to see a gyn.

[Anonymous]

She needs to see a doctor. ASAP

[Anonymous]

I'd be more worried about her fertility worries at 19 than the actual possible issue. Normally women don't get worked out about such matters before actually actively trying for a baby. Why is she worried about this in the first place?

[Anonymous]

She is worried about college and feels out of control. So she chooses something to worry about to place the anxiety on. Thus she exerts some control. She chose infertility.

This is like some eating disorders...you control what you eat in an out of control trauma la situation. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs seem to be dismissing this, but the period issue and fatigue could be something, depending on how often she has a missed/irregular period.

That's her biggest concern. She has 12x cycles a year, but the cycle length changes constantly. It will be 28 days for a few months, then change the next month, then stay on that schedule or change again the next month, and repeat.

That's a concern?? My periods weren't regular until after I got pregnant for the first time at age 27... with twins no less, so even a little extra fertile. She should defintely make an appointment with an ob/gyn to discuss her issues.

[Anonymous]

Psychiatrist.

[Anonymous]

With someone really anxious who spirals and won't act you might have to take gentle action: research gyns near you and find the best reviewed, sweetest young woman gyn you can find, someone people gush about being kind, relatable, non judgmental. Show her all that information so she knows she will be safe. Then make the call with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs seem to be dismissing this, but the period issue and fatigue could be something, depending on how often she has a missed/irregular period.

That's her biggest concern. She has 12x cycles a year, but the cycle length changes constantly. It will be 28 days for a few months, then change the next month, then stay on that schedule or change again the next month, and repeat.

If she has 12 cycles per year, then it sounds like she is pretty regular. Cycles can vary in days. It’s only clinically irregular if there is more than a few days difference between cycles, as in more than 10 days difference with each cycle. If she is getting period monthly +/- a few days then that is considered regular. Even if she is somewhat irregular, that doesn’t mean PCOS, at all. The most common reason for irregular periods in younger women is stress, diet, and exercise. Someone with an anxiety disorder is likely to feel stressed

It ranges usually and sometimes there’s a more than a 5-6 day difference, it could be anything but she refuses to see a gyn.

5-6 days variation is considered “regular” and normal

This isn’t about her fertility, not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PPs seem to be dismissing this, but the period issue and fatigue could be something, depending on how often she has a missed/irregular period.

She's tired because anxiety is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

No sane 19 year old wants a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more worried about her fertility worries at 19 than the actual possible issue. Normally women don't get worked out about such matters before actually actively trying for a baby. Why is she worried about this in the first place?

BECAUSE SHE HAS ANXIETY. It's not rational. It's anxiety.

Does it help some of you to know that anxiety is closely related (even a form of) OCD? Is it rational to need to check the stove 25 times to make sure it's off? No. Would you be perplexed and wondering why someone needed to check the stove and was worried about this in the first place, like something rational could be driving such an impulse? No, you would not. This is the same thing. The anxiety is around infertility right now but nothing rational or reasonable is driving that fear. It doesn't matter what her periods are like.

OP, I'm not sure what kind of therapy she's had in the past, but she needs a really good CBT practitioner. My DS has anxiety and he said something interesting recently that explained why his current therapist has been so helpful when other therapists have not been. He told me that one of his friends stopped therapy because talking about her life all the time was making her feel worse. And DS said to me, laughing, "I think my therapist is helpful because she doesn’t want to hear about my life." And when I asked what he meant, he explained that his therapist-- the best one he's ever had-- only wants to hear enough to know what's bothering him, then she's done talking about that particular worry and they talk only about how to get his mind off that worry. She doesn't ask him why he's worried about it or allow him to spend more than a few minutes talking about the worry. Their sessions are all about recognizing when perseverating is happening and figuring out ways to stop it, and then as therapy progresses, talking about successes and building on them and developing more comfort with living with uncertainty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PPs seem to be dismissing this, but the period issue and fatigue could be something, depending on how often she has a missed/irregular period.

She's tired because anxiety is exhausting.

While this is true, it's a good age to start going to a gynecologist and you should not dismiss period irregularity because fertility is not an important concern at this point.

[Anonymous]

I would be worried she is not taking birth control seriously because she believes she won’t get pregnant, and will end up getting pregnant.