Reply to College DD is Driving me Crazy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd be more worried about her fertility worries at 19 than the actual possible issue. Normally women don't get worked out about such matters before actually actively trying for a baby. Why is she worried about this in the first place? [/quote]

BECAUSE SHE HAS ANXIETY. It's not rational. It's anxiety.

Does it help some of you to know that anxiety is closely related (even a form of) OCD? Is it rational to need to check the stove 25 times to make sure it's off? No. Would you be perplexed and wondering why someone needed to check the stove and was worried about this in the first place, like something rational could be driving such an impulse? No, you would not. This is the same thing. The anxiety is around infertility right now but nothing rational or reasonable is driving that fear. It doesn't matter what her periods are like.

OP, I'm not sure what kind of therapy she's had in the past, but she needs a really good CBT practitioner. My DS has anxiety and he said something interesting recently that explained why his current therapist has been so helpful when other therapists have not been. He told me that one of his friends stopped therapy because talking about her life all the time was making her feel worse. And DS said to me, laughing, "I think my therapist is helpful because she doesn’t want to hear about my life." And when I asked what he meant, he explained that his therapist-- the best one he's ever had-- only wants to hear enough to know what's bothering him, then she's done talking about that particular worry and they talk only about how to get his mind off that worry. She doesn't ask him why he's worried about it or allow him to spend more than a few minutes talking about the worry. Their sessions are all about recognizing when perseverating is happening and figuring out ways to stop it, and then as therapy progresses, talking about successes and building on them and developing more comfort with living with uncertainty. [/quote]

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