How to keep kid from zoning out in the shower

[Anonymous]

...is your kid me?

This sounds like what I do to avoid having to drag myself to work. ;(

[Anonymous]

Kids love chilling in a warm shower. I mean, I do too. Don’t you? She’s probably just decompressing and relaxing while in there. But to save your water bill, yeah, shout reminders through the door or set a timer. Or threaten to come in to do the hair wash if she takes too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My adhd kid is also like this. But your kid is only 8. I wouldn’t be stressed about needing to remind at this age, as much as it is a pain.

My adhd kid listens to audiobooks in the shower and hers take forever. So don’t go down that path, lol. She started them because she was absolutely refusing to shower, but they definitely slow her down.

I would probably let your kid decide whether they would prefer a playlist or alarms for reminders.

If a kid is zoning out, there’s a reason - they have been overstimulated all day and they need a break. Shower is ideal for that. Setting a bunch of alarms during a needed mental break sounds horrifying to me as someone with ADHD. I think OP needs to view the shower as serving a purpose for her daughter, other than just washing, and understand that it’s ok if not every shower includes washing hair/body comprehensively.

I hear what you are saying, but it sounds like the long showers aren't working for their family. So they need to find another way for the kid to take a mental break. Same goes with everything- my ADHD kid needs tons of fidgets, but when it is loud and obnoxious she has to find a different fidget (which she has plenty of). Otherwise the rest of us would have to move houses. If the long showers are causing the hot water to run out, or issues with bedtime, the kiddo needs a better coping mechanism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 yo regularly gets in the shower, forgets why she's there, and will just stand there for 15 minutes before starting to wash her hair. We'll even go in and remind her "wash your hair, wash your body" and she'll start doing it, forget, and then 5 minutes later she's still "rinsing out her hair." Her showers take forever and often she'll get upset because she's running out of hot water but still has tasks to complete and she has to do them in cold water.

I don't know how to keep her on task in there other than literally standing in the bathroom reminding her to do each thing in sequence until she's done. She is not like this with other things. She can be slow sometimes but usually stays on task. It's something about being in the water that just distracts her and she totally zones out.

We got an in-shower timer that gets set. So he has a visual reminder to complete the task. I also did this as a kid. My son does it. A timer in the bathroom doesnt work. It needs to be in their face. Also a visual step by step chart helps too.

[Anonymous]

Get her something like a heating pad or (monitored) electric blanket to use afterwards. She may just be wanting the sensory stimulation of the warmth and if the shower is the only place she can get it she's gonna get it there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 yo regularly gets in the shower, forgets why she's there, and will just stand there for 15 minutes before starting to wash her hair. We'll even go in and remind her "wash your hair, wash your body" and she'll start doing it, forget, and then 5 minutes later she's still "rinsing out her hair." Her showers take forever and often she'll get upset because she's running out of hot water but still has tasks to complete and she has to do them in cold water.

I don't know how to keep her on task in there other than literally standing in the bathroom reminding her to do each thing in sequence until she's done. She is not like this with other things. She can be slow sometimes but usually stays on task. It's something about being in the water that just distracts her and she totally zones out.

We got an in-shower timer that gets set. So he has a visual reminder to complete the task. I also did this as a kid. My son does it. A timer in the bathroom doesnt work. It needs to be in their face. Also a visual step by step chart helps too.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FPWSNF4P?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title

Shower chart: https://www.amazon.com/HOM-Approved-Laminated-Children-Schedules/dp/B092LS4YMC/ref=sr_1_8?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.uaYbr8dG1U1_vKqcGlB04L4c6cOBiJeq3xB-eXITUrM8p_UXOa_MsNDAK0Qtmwcg86XkwlE5_Iusi7Vdj_oZgFdnGR-Sf_I77Buj01-Fq607dzCI8ayoUhgJE1V5q3YBIkj4SoKoC_d0MAvMXEUIxhSHeofKRg__HOQzswfCCLclwc_0-n0PEtPJAIIL-UgaQb6S_eCJeY1MGBrWYUdioZsvZyFXeIqIIzPS_AGWejEGiIVsL94ftQzOZTb98xHOHu-VygsLC6P18ILSlJz2JgrKGIj0n6T4dnDJUoo3pxQ.bnuZ-kLLBshJAb-WtfM1KkHNTe8eBTYLsmbsLWfxO_o&dib_tag=se&keywords=shower+chart+for+kids&qid=1770994587&sr=8-8

Your child has executive functioning issues. You need to help build those. Baking is actually a great way to work on planning and executive functioning without the high stakes of getting ready every day.

[Anonymous]

shower timer tell her when the timer runs out so does the hot water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids love chilling in a warm shower. I mean, I do too. Don’t you? She’s probably just decompressing and relaxing while in there. But to save your water bill, yeah, shout reminders through the door or set a timer. Or threaten to come in to do the hair wash if she takes too long.

This is terrible advice. You threaten a child? I can only hope you're not a parent. Traumatizing a child is not the way to help someone who may have a learning disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Inattentive ADHD. I know, my kid with inattentive ADHD does the same thing.

Same, though not diagnosed until age 15. In retrospect, this might have been a useful clue had I known better at the time.

OP, we used a timer that chimed every 5 minutes, then graduated to every minute. We put a waterproof chart in the shower with tasks to complete by each chime.

It takes about 90 days for a task to become a habit. So you do need to "police" an activity every day for 90 days before it might become a habit for her and she won't need you there anymore (30 days for less distractable people). You noted that she doesn't need your help this way on things like cleaning her room, but that is probalby because earlier in life, without really being conscieous of it, you were there teaching and monitoring long enough for it to become habit.

[Anonymous]

You have a much bigger problem. You don't recognize her ADHD.
I would have had alarm bells going off the first time she forgot themself in the shower.
Wait, what was wrong with the bath? She like the running water?
I have a family member who still yells at her 16-year old to get out of the shower. According to her, 'she likes long showers'.
There are so many other signs, but they are all explained away how she like doodling and daydreaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...is your kid me?

This sounds like what I do to avoid having to drag myself to work. ;(

lol, same here.

Honestly one thing that has helped me is investing in super nice cozy post-shower garb and rituals - e.g. a nice fluffy bathrobe, nice-smelling body lotions, fancy coffee in the morning for workday showers, and soft pajamas for when I do showering at night. It helps incentivize the post-shower steps.

It also helps to make sure the bathroom is warm-ish - much harder to leave a hot shower when it’s freezing out! I do think a bathroom timer would also help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My adhd kid is also like this. But your kid is only 8. I wouldn’t be stressed about needing to remind at this age, as much as it is a pain.

My adhd kid listens to audiobooks in the shower and hers take forever. So don’t go down that path, lol. She started them because she was absolutely refusing to shower, but they definitely slow her down.

I would probably let your kid decide whether they would prefer a playlist or alarms for reminders.

If a kid is zoning out, there’s a reason - they have been overstimulated all day and they need a break. Shower is ideal for that. Setting a bunch of alarms during a needed mental break sounds horrifying to me as someone with ADHD. I think OP needs to view the shower as serving a purpose for her daughter, other than just washing, and understand that it’s ok if not every shower includes washing hair/body comprehensively.

I hear what you are saying, but it sounds like the long showers aren't working for their family. So they need to find another way for the kid to take a mental break. Same goes with everything- my ADHD kid needs tons of fidgets, but when it is loud and obnoxious she has to find a different fidget (which she has plenty of). Otherwise the rest of us would have to move houses. If the long showers are causing the hot water to run out, or issues with bedtime, the kiddo needs a better coping mechanism

Sure, but if OP is mainly just burned out from supervising, then just not having to do that is a perfect solution. All that is required is a mindset shift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids love chilling in a warm shower. I mean, I do too. Don’t you? She’s probably just decompressing and relaxing while in there. But to save your water bill, yeah, shout reminders through the door or set a timer. Or threaten to come in to do the hair wash if she takes too long.

This is terrible advice. You threaten a child? I can only hope you're not a parent. Traumatizing a child is not the way to help someone who may have a learning disability.

NP - Is this satire? Telling your 8 yo you will wash their hair if they get distracted and don't do it is not "traumatizing."

[Anonymous]

Not every single thing in life is a sign of ADHD. If a kid is zoning in the shower, and in there for a really long time, it might just mean that...long showers are nice.

[Anonymous]

Get kid to wash hair and body in first 5 min.
It doesn't even take 5 min.