Struggling to make friends

[Anonymous]

Play a sport, there's a lot of camaraderie in sports -- running, tennis, etc. and you can make younger/older friends with people that are not in your grade. Join any club - robotics, chess, etc. Theater is probably a very specific group of people, and it might be tough for a male. All I can say is that college is so much better than high school!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this FCPS? Did your child go to South Lakes or Oakton? This is my greatest concern with my kid. Everyone at their middle school is going to go to the new high school except for them because of a handful of mommies obsessed with status. It's so frustrating OP. Try to see if he can get together with sports friends or old middle school friends.

APS, sorry. I hope your kiddos have a good experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Play a sport, there's a lot of camaraderie in sports -- running, tennis, etc. and you can make younger/older friends with people that are not in your grade. Join any club - robotics, chess, etc. Theater is probably a very specific group of people, and it might be tough for a male. All I can say is that college is so much better than high school!!!!!!!!!!

100% this. My dd made friends thru sports but they weren’t super close. But it did provide a social outlet. She is now a freshman in college and has a ton of great friends. Night and day.

[Anonymous]

I think it takes the full school year, especially when you are new. I am not a big fan of the team manager role, but agree that a club or sport or band that mixes kids up could help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this FCPS? Did your child go to South Lakes or Oakton? This is my greatest concern with my kid. Everyone at their middle school is going to go to the new high school except for them because of a handful of mommies obsessed with status. It's so frustrating OP. Try to see if he can get together with sports friends or old middle school friends.

I'm so confused by this comment. "Mommies"? I think you mean parents, and since when do people need to run their plans by you for approval? Choosing your kids' schooling is a personal matter that is more than just status seeking, although that might be one of several factors in some families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this FCPS? Did your child go to South Lakes or Oakton? This is my greatest concern with my kid. Everyone at their middle school is going to go to the new high school except for them because of a handful of mommies obsessed with status. It's so frustrating OP. Try to see if he can get together with sports friends or old middle school friends.

We are also being affected by the New Western High School changes going on. I wish my DD’s friends had opted in because then my freshman DD would have as well and gotten to be with her friends, but they are staying at their school and DD is at her HS alone and it’s awful. I’m not sure what you mean about the status mommies? How are they getting in the way of your kid going to the new high school?

[Anonymous]

Idk why people say friends aren’t made in classes - my kids have made multiple friends in class. Especially low key classes like art or health.
Activities that too but if the activity isn’t a good fit then it’s not good for that. Suggesting theater crew for a boy who is preppy and sporty would be rather awkward, at my kids school the theater kids are a very specific type (they/them, neurodiverse, awkwardly extroverted)

[Anonymous]

+1 to taking health, especially if it is offered in the summer before freshman year (too late for OP's child, but this really helped DC meet friends before school). I also agree on the sport's manager position. DC got severely injured Freshman year and could no longer play their preferred sport. The team manager position was a saving grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk why people say friends aren’t made in classes - my kids have made multiple friends in class. Especially low key classes like art or health.
Activities that too but if the activity isn’t a good fit then it’s not good for that. Suggesting theater crew for a boy who is preppy and sporty would be rather awkward, at my kids school the theater kids are a very specific type (they/them, neurodiverse, awkwardly extroverted)

How does your kid like theater? I think it’s great they have found some peers that they can click with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Idk why people say friends aren’t made in classes - my kids have made multiple friends in class. Especially low key classes like art or health.
Activities that too but if the activity isn’t a good fit then it’s not good for that. Suggesting theater crew for a boy who is preppy and sporty would be rather awkward, at my kids school the theater kids are a very specific type (they/them, neurodiverse, awkwardly extroverted)

Exactly this. My kid would not fit in with the theater kids as they are at our school. They mostly fit in with the mainstream sporty types.