Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools

[Anonymous]

And you think Brown and Yale are not grinds for engineering?

I think this is the main point that most folks miss. It's not just the school, it's the major that dictates grind vs not. All the schools listed previously (JHU, CMU, MIT, Princeton, Caltech..), these are heavily focused on STEM and I think are unfairly labeled as no fun schools. Students have options to have fun but they do have a heavy workload if they want to excel in their chosen STEM major.

Ps - this is not meant to dish on non-STEM majors. I'm certain the SLACs are just as tough but escape the grind moniker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College should be fun. Go to parties. Go to football games. Never schedule a class before 10 AM so you can go out drinking all night. That's what every one of these kids should be doing. Enjoy these years while you have them.

This. Best years of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.

No your kid is an immature dolt

But good for her Trump has bigger plans for women this dumb.

This is OP, and this is the kind of stuff her male classmates say to her every day. She wants to avoid 4 more years of it too.

[Anonymous]

Hard but collaborative would be great for my kid. Hard and the next kid over is trying to tear you down to climb over you and the culture says that’s right? No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume all of you are wealthy and connected so can line up jobs for your child when they graduate? We are not so our DD is going to a school which hopefully will line her up for better options than we had.

There is some truth to this. We are not wealthy, but well connected with friends from college and graduate school. I do believe that we can help DD with getting an interview at some places for internship or job opportunities. But, the rest will be up to DD, realizing that getting an interview is a huge advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has more to do with majors.

Op here. Electrical engineering.

Engineering is going to be a grind everywhere. There's no soft way through it. Even at the "happy" schools, engineering students are studying very hard. But there are some engineering programs that are notorious for being much more unpleasant than it needs to be. Cornell, Carnegie Mellon, Johns Hopkins, Berkeley come to mind. My mechanical engineering DC wanted to avoid those and focused on schools that had a more collaborative and community-oriented vibe. DC chose Rice for that reason. Very happy there.

+1 on engineering going to be a grind everywhere, so you want your kid to find a campus that offers a reprieve from that. And that can look different for each kid based on what they enjoy and how they unwind. Do they like city life and all that offers? Nature and hiking? School spirit and big sports? Small dorms with built in community? Also, what kind of opportunities exist for engineering students on campus? Is engineering a smaller program in a sea of liberal arts students or would your student appreciate (as my engineering daughter wanted) more of a tech school vibe where a large percentage of students are engineering focused; that brings a ton of design teams, course electives, 10+ engineering disciplines (in case your student changes their mind about electrical), and gives a feeling that much of campus is grinding together v. the engineering students being buried in work while the rest of campus seems to be having more fun.

Have your daughter focus on what she wants her day to look like after studying 6 hours straight for a differential equations exam: what kind of extra curriculars she can plug into at each school, how she can build a network of study friends - especially female support in male dominated engineering classes on some campuses.

FWIW, my daughter has had an amazing engineering experience at Virginia Tech. She chose it for some very particular reasons over places including Ohio State, Purdue, NC State, and Duke and it's been a perfect fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.

Its nice to have some freedom after HS.

My only red flag concern on this is if your daughter has been sheltered and has not gotten into any of the "vices" that most high school kids get involved in. Back in my day in HS I had a friend who wasn't very social, didn't like HS that much and didn't party much at all. She got to college (Vanderbilt) and went absolutely nuts - dropped out after one semester.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the name-caller.

If your daughter is interested in getting away from sexism in the classroom, suggest she consider women’s colleges. Wellesley and Mt. Holyoke are middle of the road work wise.

Bryn Mawr is great, too, but is an intense academic experience. Barnard is very much in the shadow of Columbia.

For co-ed, avoid Swarthmore, the Pomona Colleges, and Williams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has more to do with majors.

Op here. Electrical engineering.

Engineering is going to be a grind everywhere. There's no soft way through it. Even at the "happy" schools, engineering students are studying very hard. But there are some engineering programs that are notorious for being much more unpleasant than it needs to be. Cornell, Carnegie Mellon, Johns Hopkins, Berkeley come to mind. My mechanical engineering DC wanted to avoid those and focused on schools that had a more collaborative and community-oriented vibe. DC chose Rice for that reason. Very happy there.

Huh?

Just because these schools are rigorous doesn’t mean they aren’t collaborative.

Your kid was misinformed.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of rigorous but collaborative schools. And HS kids sometimes forget how much unscheduled time they will have in college compared to high school. There is time to work hard and have fun. It would be a shame to ignore the learning, peer group and challenge part of college just to party all the time.

[Anonymous]

I do think college should be fun and a place where kid is not totally stressed all the time. However, it is totally kid dependent. My older kid just graduated from Cornell. He worked so hard there but just loved it. He had an active social life of dinner parties and meeting different friend groups for meals, running club, outdoor activities, and inter-murals and did go to some hockey games. He did not want a big Greek ra ra school. Hates football and frat culture (yes, there is a Greek system at Cornell too). He flourished and enjoyed interacting with accomplished peers.

My other kid is more likely to get stressed out and wanted a more relaxed college experience. He is at solid state school, in an frat, and is enjoying it. He declined other higher ranked choices that were more of a grind. I admit I was secretly disappointed he didn’t select the higher ranked schools (I never showed that to him). But now I really respect him for knowing himself and making the decision that was best for him and for his mental health.

[Anonymous]

At any school it's truly up to the student to find the right work and play balance. All schools offer both. It's up to the student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College should be fun. Go to parties. Go to football games. Never schedule a class before 10 AM so you can get a healthy amount of sleep and wake up feeling rested. That's what every one of these kids should be doing. Enjoy these years while you have them.

FIFY

Drinking to excess is dangerous, promotes alcoholism, and is a social crutch that kids should learn to operate without.

Nobody wants the tears, the vomit, visiting the ER or the occasional death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS picked Vandy over Chicago for this reason.

Your DS got into both Chicago and Vandy in RD???

[Anonymous]

My DS is a freshman at Georgia Tech for Engineering. He has found the right balance between fun and work and is definitely having a blast. He was also a very social kid in high school. There is a lot to do there and a lot of distractions which is great and yes the school is challenging. He rushed his first semester and is in a fraternity and that helped quite a bit with the balance. I would recommend your child, with whatever school they choose, connecting early their freshman year with different clubs and organizations and really put themselves out there early on to make those connections.