Sorry but this American college admissions "rat race" is stupid ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a horrible 5 percenter obsession. Most parents don't have the luxury of this.
I would love to sign up as an alumni interviewer for my school and ask kids if they used a college coach or consultant and if so why did their parents think they weren't strong enough on their own.

They have a survey for admitted students, the vast majority of HYP admits had college coaches and consultants. A large percentage said that they committed plagiarism at least once in high school.

And 40% of Stanford students are disabled and require accommodations. That explains a lot of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a rat race only if you’re not good enough. So…

Nah if you win, you're still a rat.

so mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a horrible 5 percenter obsession. Most parents don't have the luxury of this.
I would love to sign up as an alumni interviewer for my school and ask kids if they used a college coach or consultant and if so why did their parents think they weren't strong enough on their own.

But your assumption is incorrect. That’s not why parents hire one. You are projecting assumptions onto other parents because you’ve made a decision not to hire one. Parents hire them for a number of reasons - the most sensible is to extricate the parent from the nagging role. Or, in my own case, it stems from the wisdom to know the field has become so complicated and competitive that even if I take two years to master the art of college applications and financial aid aid, I could not figure it all out. Which is why I hire experts to assist me like lawyers (I am one but know not to touch areas in which I do not know), doctors, CPAs, trusts and estates lawyers, etc. investing and paying for a college education is the second largest investment a couple will make after buying a home. Why wouldn’t you hire an expert? I did my research. I Found one by the hour whom my kids clicked with. It worked. Ivy, SLAC, Oxbridge, Yale law.

PP here. I didn't hire one because I don't have kids. But as someone who values education and opportunities for kids from all economic backgrounds I think the current rat race skews way, way over to higher income people. It's sick. And the participants are made sick by it but slog on "for the kids." WTF. It's so complicated you need an expert to figure despite an elite education and elite socioeconomic status. Great. Perpetuate that. Be sure the riff raff goes to community college because their parents live in apartments and can't even invest in a house.

It is a sick system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a horrible 5 percenter obsession. Most parents don't have the luxury of this.
I would love to sign up as an alumni interviewer for my school and ask kids if they used a college coach or consultant and if so why did their parents think they weren't strong enough on their own.

But your assumption is incorrect. That’s not why parents hire one. You are projecting assumptions onto other parents because you’ve made a decision not to hire one. Parents hire them for a number of reasons - the most sensible is to extricate the parent from the nagging role. Or, in my own case, it stems from the wisdom to know the field has become so complicated and competitive that even if I take two years to master the art of college applications and financial aid aid, I could not figure it all out. Which is why I hire experts to assist me like lawyers (I am one but know not to touch areas in which I do not know), doctors, CPAs, trusts and estates lawyers, etc. investing and paying for a college education is the second largest investment a couple will make after buying a home. Why wouldn’t you hire an expert? I did my research. I Found one by the hour whom my kids clicked with. It worked. Ivy, SLAC, Oxbridge, Yale law.

PP here. I didn't hire one because I don't have kids. But as someone who values education and opportunities for kids from all economic backgrounds I think the current rat race skews way, way over to higher income people. It's sick. And the participants are made sick by it but slog on "for the kids." WTF. It's so complicated you need an expert to figure despite an elite education and elite socioeconomic status. Great. Perpetuate that. Be sure the riff raff goes to community college because their parents live in apartments and can't even invest in a house.

It is a sick system.

On the bright side, it stimulates the economy. (Err if you do not have kids, why are you here?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are two ways you can go about it

1. Prioritize T20 admission from a young age. Tailor everything towards that goal. Push ahead even if student is not interested in the thing they were doing, because it would look good to colleges. You would have a tough 5-6 years.

2. Prioritize academics and doing well in high school, regardless of how it looks to colleges. Do things you like and drop things you do not like. Take classes you like, but do emphasize rigor in all subjects, not because colleges like to see that, but because they are building blocks and a strong foundation is essential.

T20 admission is a low probability anyway. Even if you choose option #1, you might not end up at T20. That seemed to be a bad tradeoff to me.

If you choose option #2, even if your overall chances of getting into T20 are lower than if you choose #1, you win either way because (a) you did what you loved and if ended up not going to T20, you have that happy HS years (b) if you did end up at T20, you just got a bonus. Heads I win, tails I don't lose.

That is how we made the decision. Turns out when you do things that you do love, it is easier for others to see it as well. It showed up in how my son got voted to the top position in the team and most likely how the teachers wrote the recommendation letters. Ended at HYP.

There is actually a third option, which is to not even allow your kid to apply to Ivy-plus schools (or other similarly-priced schools), even if they have the stats and the money for them. That is what we did, and we’re happy with the results so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted out of the rat race very early. Let DS participate in whatever he wanted, discontinued if not interested and he still ended up at one of HYP with no hooks.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted out of the rat race very early. Let DS participate in whatever he wanted, discontinued if not interested and he still ended up at one of HYP with no hooks.

LOL

lol. U ‘opted out’ of the rat race but ended up at HYP? Clearly you don’t know what opted out means..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ways you can go about it

1. Prioritize T20 admission from a young age. Tailor everything towards that goal. Push ahead even if student is not interested in the thing they were doing, because it would look good to colleges. You would have a tough 5-6 years.

2. Prioritize academics and doing well in high school, regardless of how it looks to colleges. Do things you like and drop things you do not like. Take classes you like, but do emphasize rigor in all subjects, not because colleges like to see that, but because they are building blocks and a strong foundation is essential.

T20 admission is a low probability anyway. Even if you choose option #1, you might not end up at T20. That seemed to be a bad tradeoff to me.

If you choose option #2, even if your overall chances of getting into T20 are lower than if you choose #1, you win either way because (a) you did what you loved and if ended up not going to T20, you have that happy HS years (b) if you did end up at T20, you just got a bonus. Heads I win, tails I don't lose.

That is how we made the decision. Turns out when you do things that you do love, it is easier for others to see it as well. It showed up in how my son got voted to the top position in the team and most likely how the teachers wrote the recommendation letters. Ended at HYP.

There is actually a third option, which is to not even allow your kid to apply to Ivy-plus schools (or other similarly-priced schools), even if they have the stats and the money for them. That is what we did, and we’re happy with the results so far.

Or the fourth option: not having kids.

[Anonymous]

Or an unspoken except by this OP outcome
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1309246.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two ways you can go about it

1. Prioritize T20 admission from a young age. Tailor everything towards that goal. Push ahead even if student is not interested in the thing they were doing, because it would look good to colleges. You would have a tough 5-6 years.

2. Prioritize academics and doing well in high school, regardless of how it looks to colleges. Do things you like and drop things you do not like. Take classes you like, but do emphasize rigor in all subjects, not because colleges like to see that, but because they are building blocks and a strong foundation is essential.

T20 admission is a low probability anyway. Even if you choose option #1, you might not end up at T20. That seemed to be a bad tradeoff to me.

If you choose option #2, even if your overall chances of getting into T20 are lower than if you choose #1, you win either way because (a) you did what you loved and if ended up not going to T20, you have that happy HS years (b) if you did end up at T20, you just got a bonus. Heads I win, tails I don't lose.

That is how we made the decision. Turns out when you do things that you do love, it is easier for others to see it as well. It showed up in how my son got voted to the top position in the team and most likely how the teachers wrote the recommendation letters. Ended at HYP.

There is actually a third option, which is to not even allow your kid to apply to Ivy-plus schools (or other similarly-priced schools), even if they have the stats and the money for them. That is what we did, and we’re happy with the results so far.

Or the fourth option: not having kids.

Not having kids because you don’t want kids is perfectly sensible.

Not having kids because you think it would be too much trouble to get them into Harvard (and, implicitly, can’t imagine having kids who don’t go to Harvard) is not so much opting out of this rat race as allowing it to control your whole life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted out of the rat race very early. Let DS participate in whatever he wanted, discontinued if not interested and he still ended up at one of HYP with no hooks.

LOL

lol. U ‘opted out’ of the rat race but ended up at HYP? Clearly you don’t know what opted out means..

No need to be bitter. Envy is only sin where there is no upside. LOL

[Anonymous]

As you can see from this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/90/1309549.page, most didn't enjoy the process of applying to colleges. Those who did, enjoyed the traveling to visit colleges, college campuses and the surrounding areas (in other words, they like a vacation, who doesn't?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As you can see from this thread https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/90/1309549.page, most didn't enjoy the process of applying to colleges. Those who did, enjoyed the traveling to visit colleges, college campuses and the surrounding areas (in other words, they like a vacation, who doesn't?).

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1309549.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to participate. It’s not required.
You can still go to a good college in the U.S.

My DC did not treat this as a competition or “race.” Was not “pruned since MS” nor in HS. Did what they wanted and as much as they wanted. None of it done for college admissions

Super smart, kind, and efficient. Deserves what they got… unhooked, early acceptance to an ivy. Public flagship does not have the same opportunities for what they want to do.

Agree, the rat race sucks. So don’t race.
I don’t race - I worked hard because I like to. I live a balanced life, not chasing achievement or money or material stuff. But I do well because I’m efficient and work fast and work hard.

+1 my kid also just did what they wanted. Turned down things they did not want to commit too, for peace of mind or balance. People thought my kid was crazy for not playing the game. But had exceptional results.

Colleges want kids who are pursuing and excelling at things they love!

[Anonymous]

With all due respect, you set the tone. You can opt out of the madness….and you can still have a kid end up there. Lol. We are a very relaxed family, the ones that would ask about more recess time in elementary when everyone else was asking about GT and putting the kids ahead at school meetings. We did not discuss college in the sense of any specific schools, etc. Winter of senior year my kid had the grades/scores and applied. Done.