Whole class for birthday in this scenario?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you supposed to contact them? I feel like if people opt out of the directory then they have to accept or don't want their kids invited.

As someone whose kids aren't listed in the directory due to domestic violence this makes me glad our school community is kinder than you.

Thanks for sharing. I usually assume people opt out of the directory because they don't want to be bothered for whatever reason. I'll try harder in the future to reach out to parents. How might another parent get hold of you? Send a paper invite in your kid's backpack?

Send a paper invite, introduce yourself to me on the playground at a school event and exchange contacts, have your kid ask mine for the phone number, look for my email on other evites . . .

Pp, I am sorry you’re going through this. Doubt many people go through the list to figure out who’s listed and who isn’t and would be remembering this for playgrounds or school events.

Since you’re the one opting out, you need to do this effort: Introduce yourself at playgrounds, or school events, etc. for your kid.

Most, if even realize that a kid is missing from the directory, won’t go beyond sending a paper invite in backpack, or delivering an oral invite that you’d need to follow up on to figure out date / time / location.

I do do those things, but if OP has just moved there, she isn't in the directory either, and she and this particular parent may not have run into each other yet. So, asking other parents if they have contact, or sending a note makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5 is too few to not invite, especially for a kid who is new and still wanting to make friends.

+1
Not a good way to welcome yourself to the new school by excluding just a handful. I’d imagine you’ll have a lot of no’s - we say no to trampoline invites, but you shouldn’t cause hurt feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe no one thinks it’s worse to invite people so last minute they are clearly “b list”. I would not have added people at the last minute as clearly pity invites.

Exactly. It's a worse look to invite them a week out.

8 year olds won’t care that it’s a week out. They like to be included. My kids got sometime late invite, if we were free, they went, if we already had something planned, we declined. I never sat and ruminated over how early or late an invite came. Things happen, not everyone is everyone’s best friend, and ultimately, if my kids ended up going, they had fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe no one thinks it’s worse to invite people so last minute they are clearly “b list”. I would not have added people at the last minute as clearly pity invites.

Exactly. It's a worse look to invite them a week out.

I don’t understand this attitude. Especially for kids, who don’t examine things like when invites were sent, so aren’t thinking A list or B list; they usually just want to go to the party (or maybe don’t want to go , but it’s not related to A/B list). Even for adults though, everyone understands there are varying levels of relationship and there are various things to manage when hosting an event, like price, venue size, etc. The do-called B list is the list of people I thought I couldn’t invite, but now I can and I want to. How is it an insult?

[Anonymous]

OP here with update, invited all 6 kids- again totally did not mean to leave out just a handful. Four of them are coming, parents of all were super nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe no one thinks it’s worse to invite people so last minute they are clearly “b list”. I would not have added people at the last minute as clearly pity invites.

Exactly. It's a worse look to invite them a week out.

I don’t understand this attitude. Especially for kids, who don’t examine things like when invites were sent, so aren’t thinking A list or B list; they usually just want to go to the party (or maybe don’t want to go , but it’s not related to A/B list). Even for adults though, everyone understands there are varying levels of relationship and there are various things to manage when hosting an event, like price, venue size, etc. The do-called B list is the list of people I thought I couldn’t invite, but now I can and I want to. How is it an insult?

+1 not going to rearrange other plans for a last minute invite but if we're free we will decide whether to go. Kid doesn't care about it being a late invite and I'm not offended - recognize this isn't my kid's best friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's a trampoline park ~ a lot of parents will decline.Trampolines are a greater than normal safety risk and, no, we don't care about the specifics.

This is not my experience at all (2 elementary kids)