Alienation of affection

[Anonymous]

People need to get over the affair and move on with their lives. You think your kids wanna be stuck in the middle of a lawsuit?

My dad cheated on my mom and she held that anger for decades. Still to this day, she is angry and bitter about it.

When my xH cheated on me, I swore I wouldn’t be like my mom and drag my kids through that. Broke it off cleanly, zero conflict, moved on and what dating someone hotter and richer within 6 months.

I’m still extremely friendly with xH and we’ll call to chat or send memes or whatever. Honestly if you wanna mindf*** with people who cheat that’s the way to do it. Make it seem like you never cared at all. Then they start second guessing themselves and their actions. When you’re psycho, it just makes it easier for them to justify the cheating.

[Anonymous]

This article gives a good primer on it.

https://www.smithdebnamlaw.com/article/how-sucessful-are-alienation-of-affection-cases-factors-and-outcomes-explained/


Basically it's a long shot case and you'd want someone you're suing to have deep pockets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People need to get over the affair and move on with their lives. You think your kids wanna be stuck in the middle of a lawsuit?

My dad cheated on my mom and she held that anger for decades. Still to this day, she is angry and bitter about it.

When my xH cheated on me, I swore I wouldn’t be like my mom and drag my kids through that. Broke it off cleanly, zero conflict, moved on and what dating someone hotter and richer within 6 months.

I’m still extremely friendly with xH and we’ll call to chat or send memes or whatever. Honestly if you wanna mindf*** with people who cheat that’s the way to do it. Make it seem like you never cared at all. Then they start second guessing themselves and their actions. When you’re psycho, it just makes it easier for them to justify the cheating.

It takes a lot of mental strength or a level of detachment that many people don't have in order to have a clean break, so quickly if you still loved each other and didn't see the cheating coming. For me, it took a couple of years of therapy to detach and move on, as you've described. A lawsuit wouldn't have helped me, but I'm not opposed to other people seeking financial relief for alienation of affection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article gives a good primer on it.

https://www.smithdebnamlaw.com/article/how-sucessful-are-alienation-of-affection-cases-factors-and-outcomes-explained/


Basically it's a long shot case and you'd want someone you're suing to have deep pockets.

Given that most APs are trashy full of debt women collecting anything is impossible . My exH was in Europe while we lived in DC. Impossible to sue
Men who want to cheat will find ways to cheat and hide it from legal system even if requires dating out of state. This is why there are so many out of state dating profiles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People need to get over the affair and move on with their lives. You think your kids wanna be stuck in the middle of a lawsuit?

My dad cheated on my mom and she held that anger for decades. Still to this day, she is angry and bitter about it.

When my xH cheated on me, I swore I wouldn’t be like my mom and drag my kids through that. Broke it off cleanly, zero conflict, moved on and what dating someone hotter and richer within 6 months.

I’m still extremely friendly with xH and we’ll call to chat or send memes or whatever. Honestly if you wanna mindf*** with people who cheat that’s the way to do it. Make it seem like you never cared at all. Then they start second guessing themselves and their actions. When you’re psycho, it just makes it easier for them to justify the cheating.

It takes a lot of mental strength or a level of detachment that many people don't have in order to have a clean break, so quickly if you still loved each other and didn't see the cheating coming. For me, it took a couple of years of therapy to detach and move on, as you've described. A lawsuit wouldn't have helped me, but I'm not opposed to other people seeking financial relief for alienation of affection.

Yes, particular when the spouse was blindsided. My exH kept family very safe and loved (at least how it looked to me and out DC). He would say things like “I don’t have anything or anymore more important than my family” etc. He was cheating with a work colleague for the last 5 years of marriage