Anonymous wrote:The thing is, it doesn’t really matter what you feel deep down. He does not want to be official, and has been clear about that. Saying he loves you amounts to nothing if he won’t put his money where his mouth is, and it’s a dead end.
So there’s nothing to mull over or debate, because he’s unwilling to go there. So there’s nothing real question is - should you continue to spend time with him under these circumstances, with no expectations of a future/commitment, or should you move on? Since you want more, I would move on.
There’s no impetus for him to commit right now - he has all of the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. He’s very comfortable, and can have his cake and eat it too. The only way he might change his mind is if you make yourself unavailable to him, but not in the hope that he will eventually commit; you have to truly move on.
And make sure it’s not his unavailability that is attracting you. Examine your own heart.
He says he loves her and they are exclusive. What does a non- dead end look like for OP? Other than living together, what more does she want. Men generally do not make the greatest roomates( see the numerous threads from married women). For someone who is not looking for children, OP has a good thing going.
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