Teen son - no female friends - normal?

[Anonymous]

Pretty normal at that age.

Both of my boys had plenty of friends of both gender in elementary school. By 6th or 7th grade they dropped down to all-boy groups. My older son started hanging out with female friends again in 10th grade - 11th grade. First it was only group events that included couples, then by 11th grade there were plenty of platonic friends. Younger son isn't quite there yet, just started high school. Friends are still mostly boys. There are some mixed-gender groups, but it's really just a group of boys that hangs out near a group of girls if there are crushes in either direction, very little actual mixing of friends.

I think the hormonal years are really hard to maintain cross-gender platonic friendships for a lot of kids. They are figuring out how to act around the other sex, and it's awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

oh #boymom what are you going to do when your last son goes off to college and your husband leaves you?

Haha. You think my husband will leave me because your daughter is throwing herself at my son?

Your husband is already bagging someone else.

He’s bagging PP’s daughter who already threw herself at him while his wife was writing her post.

True that, haha. I'm not generalizing. The OP asked why his HS-aged son doesn't seem to have female friends and I replied. It's normal not to have opposite gender friends in HS, it's even a positive. No need to take it personally. How many long-term male friends do you have that you befriended in college or as a colleague and still see each other/communicate without your husband? It's quite uncommon for adults to have opposite gender friends with whom there's real friendship based on common interests and likes. To expect straight high-school kids to navigate this minefield better than adults is extremely naive. As far as sluts in HS go, please. I mean it's definitely better to start in HS than in MS. Or where do you think teen pregnancies come from, a stork?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

oh #boymom what are you going to do when your last son goes off to college and your husband leaves you?

Haha. You think my husband will leave me because your daughter is throwing herself at my son?

Your husband is already bagging someone else.

He’s bagging PP’s daughter who already threw herself at him while his wife was writing her post.

True that, haha. I'm not generalizing. The OP asked why his HS-aged son doesn't seem to have female friends and I replied. It's normal not to have opposite gender friends in HS, it's even a positive. No need to take it personally. How many long-term male friends do you have that you befriended in college or as a colleague and still see each other/communicate without your husband? It's quite uncommon for adults to have opposite gender friends with whom there's real friendship based on common interests and likes. To expect straight high-school kids to navigate this minefield better than adults is extremely naive. As far as sluts in HS go, please. I mean it's definitely better to start in HS than in MS. Or where do you think teen pregnancies come from, a stork?

Any male who has female friends in his 30s-40s definitely had female friends in HS. To think that the absolute creatures in HS grew up to have a plethora of female friends is laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

The PP's experience is our children's too.

Have you considered that your son may be attracting these types of girls so you may be biased.

You mean if someone starts messaging you or asking for your Snap from others, it's your fault?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

The PP's experience is our children's too.

Have you considered that your son may be attracting these types of girls so you may be biased.

You mean if someone starts messaging you or asking for your Snap from others, it's your fault?

Typical boy mom with a victim complex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

The PP's experience is our children's too.

Have you considered that your son may be attracting these types of girls so you may be biased.

You mean if someone starts messaging you or asking for your Snap from others, it's your fault?

Typical boy mom with a victim complex!

Excuse me? Just answer the question. Or are you blaming my son for being so "attractive" that any girl should be able to harass him through messages and Snap as much as she likes? Is this the girl mom take on these issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

oh #boymom what are you going to do when your last son goes off to college and your husband leaves you?

Haha. You think my husband will leave me because your daughter is throwing herself at my son?

Your husband is already bagging someone else.

He’s bagging PP’s daughter who already threw herself at him while his wife was writing her post.

True that, haha. I'm not generalizing. The OP asked why his HS-aged son doesn't seem to have female friends and I replied. It's normal not to have opposite gender friends in HS, it's even a positive. No need to take it personally. How many long-term male friends do you have that you befriended in college or as a colleague and still see each other/communicate without your husband? It's quite uncommon for adults to have opposite gender friends with whom there's real friendship based on common interests and likes. To expect straight high-school kids to navigate this minefield better than adults is extremely naive. As far as sluts in HS go, please. I mean it's definitely better to start in HS than in MS. Or where do you think teen pregnancies come from, a stork?

How is it a positive to not have friends of the opposite gender in high school?

I don’t know maybe I’m a unicorn but I don’t agree at all that adults don’t have real friendships with opposite gender people based on common interests.

You’re only friends with same gender people your whole adult life? To be honest anyone I can I think of that would say this is socially awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

The PP's experience is our children's too.

Have you considered that your son may be attracting these types of girls so you may be biased.

You mean if someone starts messaging you or asking for your Snap from others, it's your fault?

Typical boy mom with a victim complex!

Excuse me? Just answer the question. Or are you blaming my son for being so "attractive" that any girl should be able to harass him through messages and Snap as much as she likes? Is this the girl mom take on these issues?

That response wasn't me, but does your don need to respond if these are unwanted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

This is insane. Plenty of girls are friends with boys in HS and not pursuing them aggressively. Yes, I have high school age kids.

Well, this has not been our experience. The girls who want to hang out IN PERSON alone are going for a boyfriend. Otherwise obviously boys see girls at school, clubs or other activities and talk to each other in passing, however, they're certainly not friends in the sense he is with his buddies and hang out after school.

The PP's experience is our children's too.

Have you considered that your son may be attracting these types of girls so you may be biased.

You mean if someone starts messaging you or asking for your Snap from others, it's your fault?

Typical boy mom with a victim complex!

Excuse me? Just answer the question. Or are you blaming my son for being so "attractive" that any girl should be able to harass him through messages and Snap as much as she likes? Is this the girl mom take on these issues?

That response wasn't me, but does your don need to respond if these are unwanted?

I’d be asking myself a lot of questions if my son’s only interactions with girls was them harassing him on Snapchat and why is he even telling you this?

Not the PP either.

[Anonymous]

OP, don’t borrow trouble. It’s perfectly fine and normal.

-Mom of 3 boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, I didn't hang out with guys outside of school in HS as friends, but certainly did that in college and afterwards. In fact as an adult, I have several good long-term male friends, with whom I have never been coupled up.

That’s tough to do. I’ve had some great relationships with guys especially the funny ones and eventually most of them want the relationship to go sexual. It’s always such a disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it is so weird you are tracking his IG followers and "snap streaks"...

This is the strangest thing about your post. I have no idea about my son and if he is communicating with girls, I stopped checking his phone years ago.

But my sister and DH and I comment all of the time, between us, that my nephew, my son and their friends are way more into their cars than girls. They are 16-18. They talk nonstop about cars. Never girls.

This will change someday, maybe, but for now at least they are not getting into trouble with girls.

[Anonymous]

^ We also recognize that they could be meeting up in groups when they leave in their cars because we are not following their snap streaks! Please stop that, OP. I can’t get over that.

[Anonymous]

Not normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if my 15 year old has talked to a girl since preschool!

This is concerning. You need to fix this now before he stops seeing them as people.