Teen son - no female friends - normal?

[Anonymous]

In the last year of ES, my son was part of a friend group of about 5 boys and 5 girls. DS was pretty close friends with at least two of these girls. In middle school, DS was friendly with some girls, but not as close as those girls from ES (who went to a different MS). Now, in HS, I don't think there are any girls he speaks to at all. (There are several girls he mutually follows on IG, and girls from MS who don't go to his HS that he has snap streaks with, but nothing in person!). He is definitely not part of the popular crowd and doesn't go to parties, but he also isn't an outcast or anything. He has a group of guy friends he gets together with regularly. A couple of his friends have had girlfriends briefly, but those relationships didn't lead to co-ed group hangouts. DS has always had some social anxiety but it literally seems like he does not know how to speak to girls at all now -- not as romantic interests, but as human beings. Is this normal at this age? It is just so much different than my experience at that age and I had significant social anxiety, too!

[Anonymous]

Normal, particularly if he's straight. He'll expand his friend group in college.

[Anonymous]

Seems pretty normal. Nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

My DS was very friendly with girls as a younger boy, but gradually it has become awkward. I think that's normal for straight boys, though not ideal, obviously. I'm not sure there is much to be done, at this age? Are there female sisters/cousins that he can relate to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS was very friendly with girls as a younger boy, but gradually it has become awkward. I think that's normal for straight boys, though not ideal, obviously. I'm not sure there is much to be done, at this age? Are there female sisters/cousins that he can relate to?

+1. My DS had some female friends in early ES but now in freshman year he is so awkward and embarrassed. His whole friend group seems to mainly hang out with other guys, maybe 1 or 2 have female friends.

[Anonymous]

I think this is very normal, especially if he's a freshman or in an all boys school. For many kids this gradually changes over high school. For other kids, it changes in freshmen year in college.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's normal.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's normal or abnormal, but yes straight boys are friends with straight girls and I think it's a positive thing. Lots of time when parents on here complain their sons on here have no social life, the advice is often look beyond just hanging out with other boys. I think it helps when they are in an activity that is both genders.

[Anonymous]

I think you're way too involved. Zoom out.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to go ahead and tell you by late high school it's not great or necessarily all that common. Many of them are friends across genders by late high school.

I think it can be more common for boys in early high school though.

[Anonymous]

Normal. My junior son has a pretty integrated friend group but my freshman mostly hangs out with boys - and my junior did too at that age. Freshman still managed to date someone briefly but day to day he’s focused on his male friends.

[Anonymous]

It's normal and positive to develop same gender friends in HS. Where's the hurry? It's good to have great buddies to relate to later on once they're off to different colleges. I didn't have mixed friends group in HS, but did in college.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if my 15 year old has talked to a girl since preschool!

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the PP and wanted to add that girls don't want to be just friends in HS, the ones who are interested in boys want boyfriends. They can get pretty aggressive about it as one doesn't have to do it in person any more, but through messages and snapchat.

[Anonymous]

Is he in a coed school? Is he in an extra curricular activities? How about vounteering? All of these give you access to the opposite gender without the pressure.