Raising kids culturally but not religiously Jewish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely fine. You don’t have to believe in god to be Jewish. It’s a religion, an ethnicity, and a culture. Many ways to be Jewish.

I know a Jewish guy who does all the rituals at home, doesn't go to synagogue and says he doesn't believe in GOd.

I think most Jews don't believe in God. They're too smart and their religion has been around so long. They cal themselves "secular Jews." They identify with the Jewish part, but not the religious part.

Perhaps some day the words "Secular Christian" will be a common way for people to describe themselves. Maybe I'll start using that term myself, because it certainly describes me.

"Secular Christian" is Anglican. It's the fake Christianity that the King of England invented to keep peace with the Catholics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

secular Jewish people DO NOT tell their kids they shouldn’t eat pork

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check out Camp Airy (for boys) and Camp Louise (for girls). They're Jewish overnight camps, but very light on the Judaism.

I know a secular Jewish woman who works there. It’s definitely about identity and not religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

secular Jewish people DO NOT tell their kids they shouldn’t eat pork

Depends if it’s baked ham or chinese food 😉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check out Camp Airy (for boys) and Camp Louise (for girls). They're Jewish overnight camps, but very light on the Judaism.

I know a secular Jewish woman who works there. It’s definitely about identity and not religion.

Jew here whose kids go to regular religious school at a Conservative shul. Airy and Louise are great. We didn't want a super-religious camp because that is not who we are at home. We don't keep kosher, we don't go to synagogue regularly although we do go on High Holidays and keep those and Passover strictly, and we want our kids to be comfortable with services, read Hebrew, and have bnai mitzvot. Airy and Louise are terrific at emphasizing identity without strict religious ritual.

The only thing I'd say to OP is you can totally do all these things, but unless you are really turned off by the idea of religious school and bar mitzvah, consider it for your kids' sake so they are equipped with that knowledge as adults, should they want it. Some of the Reform or Reconstructionist or Humanist synagogues are very progressive and try to relate religious learning and study to the modern world far more than, say, my Conservative synagogue does. It might be worthwhile. I guess I don't hang with a ton of completely secular Jews (even though I consider myself pretty secular) but I know that when I was dating, I wasn't into guys who were nominally Jewish but had never set foot in a synagogue or were uncomfortable with the idea of religion, didn't ever go to services, didn't want to raise their kids Jewish because being Jewish was just a label and maybe eating chicken soup every so often. They were so secular that being Jewish meant nothing to them. They celebrated Christmas with more interest than any Jewish holiday. Of course, if that is what your family is aiming for, then go for it. But if it's not, consider that aspect.

[Anonymous]

Look into the DC interfaith family's project IFFP. Lots of families doing varied things. Very accepting...if you are looking for a community.

[Anonymous]

I’m an outsider here as someone “culturally Christian” but married into a Jewish family.

You got some good suggestions here, but the truth is, Jews are a minority in the US, and if there is no engagement at all with the religious aspect of Judaism, your kids will not have much of a Jewish identity and your grandkids may not have any at all. That may be fine with you - no judgment. But if you want them to have a Jewish identity you probably have to engage at least a little with Jewish religious institutions. And there is such a broad range of them, I think you could find one that fits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

Some secular Jews do eat pork. Others who don't will say they don't eat pork in honor of their ancestors who didn't eat pork, or they don't eat pork because starving Jews were sometimes offered pork during the Holocaust as a form of torture.

I have never heard stories of starving Jews being offered pork as a form of torture and I kind of doubt that really happened. Jews were starved in the camps but the Germans wouldn’t have had spare meat to give them and Judaism is pretty clear that you can ignore kashrut if you are starving.

It’s possible some Germans tried to force Jews to eat pork to humiliate them, the way Americans served pork to Iraqis in Abu Ghraib but I am not even sure the Germans did that.

This is getting off topic, but when I visited a small village in Spain, the tour guide claimed that there was a tradition of letting a pig run around the town and go into people’s houses. The ones that wouldn’t allow the pig in were identified as crypto-Jews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

Some secular Jews do eat pork. Others who don't will say they don't eat pork in honor of their ancestors who didn't eat pork, or they don't eat pork because starving Jews were sometimes offered pork during the Holocaust as a form of torture.

I have never heard stories of starving Jews being offered pork as a form of torture and I kind of doubt that really happened. Jews were starved in the camps but the Germans wouldn’t have had spare meat to give them and Judaism is pretty clear that you can ignore kashrut if you are starving.

It’s possible some Germans tried to force Jews to eat pork to humiliate them, the way Americans served pork to Iraqis in Abu Ghraib but I am not even sure the Germans did that.

This is getting off topic, but when I visited a small village in Spain, the tour guide claimed that there was a tradition of letting a pig run around the town and go into people’s houses. The ones that wouldn’t allow the pig in were identified as crypto-Jews.

Never heard thatvm Jews have any rules about live pigs in their homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

Some secular Jews do eat pork. Others who don't will say they don't eat pork in honor of their ancestors who didn't eat pork, or they don't eat pork because starving Jews were sometimes offered pork during the Holocaust as a form of torture.

I have never heard stories of starving Jews being offered pork as a form of torture and I kind of doubt that really happened. Jews were starved in the camps but the Germans wouldn’t have had spare meat to give them and Judaism is pretty clear that you can ignore kashrut if you are starving.

It’s possible some Germans tried to force Jews to eat pork to humiliate them, the way Americans served pork to Iraqis in Abu Ghraib but I am not even sure the Germans did that.

This is getting off topic, but when I visited a small village in Spain, the tour guide claimed that there was a tradition of letting a pig run around the town and go into people’s houses. The ones that wouldn’t allow the pig in were identified as crypto-Jews.

Never heard thatvm Jews have any rules about live pigs in their homes

Well the Inquisition may not have been that accurate about Judaism.

Turns out I did not make up that memory though: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/statue-of-st-anthonys-pig

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

secular Jewish people DO NOT tell their kids they shouldn’t eat pork

Depends if it’s baked ham or chinese food 😉

This is very true. 😂