Raising kids culturally but not religiously Jewish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely fine. You don’t have to believe in god to be Jewish. It’s a religion, an ethnicity, and a culture. Many ways to be Jewish.

I know a Jewish guy who does all the rituals at home, doesn't go to synagogue and says he doesn't believe in GOd.

I think most Jews don't believe in God. They're too smart and their religion has been around so long. They cal themselves "secular Jews." They identify with the Jewish part, but not the religious part.

Perhaps some day the words "Secular Christian" will be a common way for people to describe themselves. Maybe I'll start using that term myself, because it certainly describes me.

[Anonymous]

You can certainly do this. There is a decent chance the kid(s) will not end up meaningfully identifying as Jewish but they will find their own path.

I guess I’d say if it’s important to you that they identify as Jewish it’s probably worth joining a congregation and going to Hebrew school so they have that foundation. With that foundation they’ll still choose their own path but without it chances that they meaningfully identify as Jewish become much less, afaict.

[Anonymous]

Definitely fine to do OP - and a second recommendation for Beth Chai in Bethesda to find a community of like-minded people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is definitely fine. You don’t have to believe in god to be Jewish. It’s a religion, an ethnicity, and a culture. Many ways to be Jewish.

I know a Jewish guy who does all the rituals at home, doesn't go to synagogue and says he doesn't believe in GOd.

I think most Jews don't believe in God. They're too smart and their religion has been around so long. They cal themselves "secular Jews." They identify with the Jewish part, but not the religious part.

Perhaps some day the words "Secular Christian" will be a common way for people to describe themselves. Maybe I'll start using that term myself, because it certainly describes me.

According to a 2021 Pew study, 22% of Jewish adults do not believe in a higher power, which is higher than Christians or Americans generally, but still not "most Jews" by a long shot.

But, yes, OP, you can raise your kids culturally Jewish. Plenty of people do it. It will help if you try to define with your partner in advance what cultural things you want to pass onto them and how you plan to do it. Is it largely about food, humor, and Jewish/humanist values, like tikkun olam and tzedakah? What holidays (if any) will you want to celebrate and how? What lifecycle moments (if any) will you want your children to have and what will you want those to look like? What kind of community (if any) do you want to be in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't this the norm? It seems that very few Jews actually believe in the religion.

Go away anti semite moron

Christians follow Trump you think they go to church or know the Bible?? No they do not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can certainly do this. There is a decent chance the kid(s) will not end up meaningfully identifying as Jewish but they will find their own path.

I guess I’d say if it’s important to you that they identify as Jewish it’s probably worth joining a congregation and going to Hebrew school so they have that foundation. With that foundation they’ll still choose their own path but without it chances that they meaningfully identify as Jewish become much less, afaict.

Wrong

And right now joining a church of a synagogue is stupid

The cult of maga is dumb and they are right now in charge of most churches and synagogues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can certainly do this. There is a decent chance the kid(s) will not end up meaningfully identifying as Jewish but they will find their own path.

I guess I’d say if it’s important to you that they identify as Jewish it’s probably worth joining a congregation and going to Hebrew school so they have that foundation. With that foundation they’ll still choose their own path but without it chances that they meaningfully identify as Jewish become much less, afaict.

Wrong

And right now joining a church of a synagogue is stupid

The cult of maga is dumb and they are right now in charge of most churches and synagogues

You clearly aren’t a member of this community so maybe take a break from participating in this discussion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how most kids are raised, OP, in every religion. I am culturally Catholic, my in-laws are culturally Buddhist, we know lots of cultural Muslims and Jews. It's all fine.

My mate and I are the same about Christianity. One raised Catholic and the other raised Protestant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't this the norm? It seems that very few Jews actually believe in the religion.

Go away anti semite moron

Christians follow Trump you think they go to church or know the Bible?? No they do not

Some Christians go to church and know the Bible and STILL follow Trump.

[Anonymous]

What you described I would consider at least somewhat religious and not only cultural. Many observant Jews would place observing Shabbat (even if it’s just the family meal) as more important than going to shul! And Jewish summer camp is a fantastic way to learn both the culture and the religion. Leave the option for your kids to elect to do a bar/bat mitzvah, even one somewhat alternative. It sounds like you have a nice set up planned.

[Anonymous]

Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

Most secular Jews don't follow Kashrut laws and so would not tell their kids not to eat pork (or shell fish or mix meat and milk).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

Some secular Jews do eat pork. Others who don't will say they don't eat pork in honor of their ancestors who didn't eat pork, or they don't eat pork because starving Jews were sometimes offered pork during the Holocaust as a form of torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t religious beliefs and culture interwoven?
With most of the holidays having religious meaning.
For example how do secular Jewish people tell their kids why they shouldn’t eat pork ?

Some secular Jews do eat pork. Others who don't will say they don't eat pork in honor of their ancestors who didn't eat pork, or they don't eat pork because starving Jews were sometimes offered pork during the Holocaust as a form of torture.

I have never heard stories of starving Jews being offered pork as a form of torture and I kind of doubt that really happened. Jews were starved in the camps but the Germans wouldn’t have had spare meat to give them and Judaism is pretty clear that you can ignore kashrut if you are starving.

It’s possible some Germans tried to force Jews to eat pork to humiliate them, the way Americans served pork to Iraqis in Abu Ghraib but I am not even sure the Germans did that.

[Anonymous]

Cultural Jews have been some of the best friends and colleagues I've ever had. Please continue whatever it is that makes you ethical, kind, personable, funny and smart. Menschen.