Meal planning is SUCH a struggle for me, so I don't do it, and we're in a tough circle. Please help.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I suggest paying careful attention to what your kids will reliably eat for dinner and just expanding on those.

For example, you say you give them yogurt and cheese and crackers instead of a proper dinner?

So turn that into a proper sit-down supper a few nights per week. I used to eat that all the time when I lived in Germany, it was called Abendbrot.

https://ourgabledhome.com/how-to-create-an-authentic-german-supper-abendbrot

Include the crackers and cheese they like, but also introduce other things. Wholegrain sourdough and rye bread; good butter; some good cheeses you like. We used to have Quark which is a type of yogurt but it is hard to find here.; good ham, liverwurst, some hard boiled eggs, pickles. Some tomatoes, cucumbers, sliced onions and even lettuce for vegetables. You can wrap up anything you don't eat one night and keep it to serve the next night. it's basically like sandwiches for supper, but a little fancier. Add some canned or smoked salmon one night, even if just you will be the one to eat it. Have some yogurt with sliced fruit for a simple dessert.

The key is to make this a "proper family meal" where you put all the items in the center of the table, and allow kids to select what they want to eat. You aren't making one meal for yourself and another one for the kids that they will eat; although you might be adding portions that appeal mostly to you. The kids can help set everything out and wrapping it back up again. Nothing much to cook and clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if they are not eating dinner, what are they eating. everyone gets hungry/needs to eat. if you are providing a lot of snacks, there is no need to eat dinner.

what do they like to eat?

They don’t eat. They eat breakfast and lunch, and that’s it. No snacks when they get home. They just don’t eat. They’re not big eaters.

That seems odd to me. What are they eating for breakfast and lunch? Are you packing a lunch for them or do they eat something from school?

Are your kids all growing healthily? Are you sure they aren't snacking when they get home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 20 and 22 now—eventually they learned to eat regular meals! The best advice I got came from our wonderful pediatrician: Your job is to offer a healthy meal; it’s not your job to make them eat it.” Takes the guilt away. I was a Trader Joe’s disciple. Their frozen stuff is so tasty and easy to make in kid sized quantities and I enjoy it too (your air fryer is your friend here). My kids loved (all from frozen aisle) the masala pancakes, chicken tenders, panko crusted tilapia, tempura shrimp, little individual pizzas. Big hits sold frozen in bags to cook up in a skillet or simply microwave: chicken fried rice, Japanese rice, beef bolgogi rice, gnocchi, any of the frozen bagged pastas especially the risottos and pennes and mushroom sauced raviolis. Effortless! Enjoyable.

How is any of that junk healthy?

[Anonymous]

If your kids reliably eat Trader Joes frozen mac and cheese (or do you mean the boxed kind?) see if they will like a homemade mac and cheese casserole.

I make it in the crockpot and freeze 1 cup servings in my SouperCubes.

https://www.spendwithpennies.com/ultra-cream-mac-n-cheese-in-the-slow-cooker/

Or I serve it family style for dinner, along with some steamed broccoli or something. When my kids were little they liked to eat frozen peas, straight from the freezer (probably not a good way to serve them for food safety purposes but they all survived somehow.) It's not better than a frozen box of mac and cheese, but psychologically it was a home cooked meal and we all sat down to eat it.

[Anonymous]

If they are eating significant breakfast and lunch then a low key low effort dinner is fine. Not everyone likes a big dinner.
I don't understand the problem. This is like making your kid play soccer when they prefer piano. Just because a lot of kids play soccer doesn't mean yours have to.
Let GO of the guilt. Ensure that you still eat together as a family. Play a game and have a charcuterie board with crackers bread cheese yogurt fruits veggies and add something new or different every other week that YOU like and they can try (if they want). Olives, different cured meats, different types of cheese, etc.

The one caveat I would say is to ensure that they know this what works for your family and other families do things differently so some day you may need to sit at a friend's table and they will serve a more formal dinner. Or when you go out to eat for dinner. But as long as you keep the tradition of having it together it'll be fine. Dinner isn't important because of the food it's important because kids get to sit with their parents uninterrupted and it's an anchor point for the evening routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t enjoy cooking and my spouse works in the evenings so it’s just me and DD. I’ve had WLS so eat very small portions. DD is 13 and does sports so our “ dinner” is usually around 4 then a large snack later.
Rotisserie chicken is your friend.
I make several servings of WG rice every couple of weeks then freeze some.
Quesadillas , we do chicken or black beans
I feel like nutrition is more important than whether it’s a “ proper dinner”
So if your kids like yogurt, cheese/crackers with fruit then do that twice a week..
Just make sure it’s not a “ kid “ yogurt full of sugar, you can healthy WG crackers,
I do a snack plate once a week. DD and I watch a show together and eat on the couch, I’ll do cheese/crackers, edamane, nuts, cherry tomatoes, cut up cucumbers and cut up carrots..takes 5 mins. I feel like it’s fine nutritionally

This is the most helpful post on here so far.

What is WG?

[Anonymous]

I also ask each child for 1 dish they want each week (nothing too complicated). That helps a lot. We usually have leftovers and so picky kid 1 can eat last night's dinner tonight also.

[Anonymous]

It might help if you describe their pickiness. Do you think it's related to anxiety, ADHD, autism, etc? Because a lot of inflexible, rigid picky eaters aren't *just* picky eaters. The eating issues are one symptom of their sensory issues, fears and neurodivergence.

Do they snack throughout the day? That's not allowed. They need to be hungry for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 10, your child is old enough to be involved in the planning and prep meals. I think we started with easy “breakfast for dinner” meals.

+1

[Anonymous]

You first mistake is you eat at lunch at not with your kids.

Second dinner is a time for them to bond with you.

This is a you problem that you created.

Fix it now. Not hard involve them. Take them to a grocery store, have them make a list of dinner meals prep together etc....

My DH traveled as well. And I worked full time and dinner was always on the table. Veggie, fruit protein etc.. We ie my kids and I worked together.

Not chores we worked together.

[Anonymous]

Solidarity. I hate dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Solidarity. I hate dinner.

Thank you. These comments have been so helpful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I suggest paying careful attention to what your kids will reliably eat for dinner and just expanding on those.

For example, you say you give them yogurt and cheese and crackers instead of a proper dinner?

So turn that into a proper sit-down supper a few nights per week. I used to eat that all the time when I lived in Germany, it was called Abendbrot.

https://ourgabledhome.com/how-to-create-an-authentic-german-supper-abendbrot

Include the crackers and cheese they like, but also introduce other things. Wholegrain sourdough and rye bread; good butter; some good cheeses you like. We used to have Quark which is a type of yogurt but it is hard to find here.; good ham, liverwurst, some hard boiled eggs, pickles. Some tomatoes, cucumbers, sliced onions and even lettuce for vegetables. You can wrap up anything you don't eat one night and keep it to serve the next night. it's basically like sandwiches for supper, but a little fancier. Add some canned or smoked salmon one night, even if just you will be the one to eat it. Have some yogurt with sliced fruit for a simple dessert.

The key is to make this a "proper family meal" where you put all the items in the center of the table, and allow kids to select what they want to eat. You aren't making one meal for yourself and another one for the kids that they will eat; although you might be adding portions that appeal mostly to you. The kids can help set everything out and wrapping it back up again. Nothing much to cook and clean.

This is beautiful. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Throwing together a Trader Joe’s dinner is not a bad thing. I guess it depends which dinner, but if it’s got protein and it’s filling up your kids and they have a vegetable with it, it’s good.

+1. Depends what you’re picking up from there too. We all like the lentil soup and veggie chili from their refrigerated aisle. They’ve got some good prepared pastas and meats too.

[Anonymous]

OP I have a picky kid and she eats pretty much what you describe, even though I also make healthy "real" meals nightly. She will eat what I cook maybe once in two weeks and even then it's not really the same -- she'll eat the pasta I prepare but skip the sauce, skip the salad and only eat one or two things from it, then bread. Honestly so much of her dinnertime nutrition comes from the glass of whole milk she eats with dinner, and then the fruit I always make available. She often has trader Joe's frozen items or yogurt or cheese and crackers to supplement because the are easy to add to a meal I'm already making when it's clear she won't eat most of it.

That said, these are the somewhat easy meals I make that she will eat at least some of and that sound good to me:

- Soup and sandwiches. I do soup from scratch and then make grilled cheese. She will eat the grilled cheese and *might* dip the sandwich corner in the soup. But soup rehears great and I can do this again as leftovers or have the soup for my lunch so no food waste. Everyone else likes this.

- Make your own taco salad. Same idea as bowls but it's foods she likes more. She'll have avocado, beans, tortilla chips, cheese. She won't mix them, she'll separate them on the plate. But that's an okay meal and the rest of us load up on everything else.

-Loaded ramen bowls. She just does the noodles and broth, sometimes will have seaweed with it. The rest of us do eggs, chicken, various veggies, hot sauce. I can add nut butter to her broth and she likes the flavor and it adds some nutrients.

And then the aforementioned pasta, tho I've been doing pasta less because it's harder to incorporate a protein for her with this if she won't eat whatever sauce I'm doing.

I try to let it go. It's so hard. But I like cooking and eating and this at least gets us around the same table eating sort of the same food. It means she sees the rest of the family eating real, balanced meals most nights. Lots of nights I'm still supplementing with yogurt, cheese, PBJ for her if she won't eat much from the table. But it feels like family dinner.