Are any other senior parents avoiding conversations with other senior parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found it very strange last year when DC was applying to college. The parent community at DC’s small private school/class had been very communicative and engaged on all kinds of topics. Once college apps started, the dynamic changed overnight. No one really talked about their kid’s process, which as first-time parent accompanying DC through it all, came as a shock.

In retrospect, I can understand why everyone keeps to themselves somewhat, unless you’re closed friends. Each kid has their own experience and pressures and you can’t possibly know their reality, so parents are both protective of their own and reticent to misstep. Plus, there is a lot of overlap among applications within a class so that can be awkward too. Once April/May rolled around, all went back to normal…and has stayed that way.

Take comfort, this too shall pass. In the meantime, there’s DCUM 😉

OP here. You expressed it better than I did. I don't think I'm being competitive, because as far as I know, my kids friends are not applying early to the same schools as my kids and I would truly love to see good results for all of my kid's friends (and their parents). I just don't want to come off as nosy or braggy or even like a know-it-all, so I'm just trying to stay quiet.

[Anonymous]

I've got a kid in college already, and the year he was a high school senior, the same sort of discussion popped up on DCUM. I still don't understand your sentiment, to be frank. We were exhausted by the application process itself, not talking about it with others. If people didn't want to talk about it with me, fine, but I did not have that revulsion myself. In fact, once applications were sent in, I experienced a sense of relief, since after that, it's not in the applicant's control.

So just understand that others might not share your feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found it very strange last year when DC was applying to college. The parent community at DC’s small private school/class had been very communicative and engaged on all kinds of topics. Once college apps started, the dynamic changed overnight. No one really talked about their kid’s process, which as first-time parent accompanying DC through it all, came as a shock.

In retrospect, I can understand why everyone keeps to themselves somewhat, unless you’re closed friends. Each kid has their own experience and pressures and you can’t possibly know their reality, so parents are both protective of their own and reticent to misstep. Plus, there is a lot of overlap among applications within a class so that can be awkward too. Once April/May rolled around, all went back to normal…and has stayed that way.

Take comfort, this too shall pass. In the meantime, there’s DCUM 😉

OP here. You expressed it better than I did. I don't think I'm being competitive, because as far as I know, my kids friends are not applying early to the same schools as my kids and I would truly love to see good results for all of my kid's friends (and their parents). I just don't want to come off as nosy or braggy or even like a know-it-all, so I'm just trying to stay quiet.

You are self-conscious and it is impeding your social life. That's a problem.

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, that includes a form of social anxiety, but even I can have a perfectly natural discussion with others about college admissions. I don't care if someone thinks I'm nosy, because *I* know that I'm not trying to pry - I'm just having a casual discussion. Nobody cares that much about you, OP, that they're going to ponder the ins and outs of your questions and comments. The world does not revolve around you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found it very strange last year when DC was applying to college. The parent community at DC’s small private school/class had been very communicative and engaged on all kinds of topics. Once college apps started, the dynamic changed overnight. No one really talked about their kid’s process, which as first-time parent accompanying DC through it all, came as a shock.

In retrospect, I can understand why everyone keeps to themselves somewhat, unless you’re closed friends. Each kid has their own experience and pressures and you can’t possibly know their reality, so parents are both protective of their own and reticent to misstep. Plus, there is a lot of overlap among applications within a class so that can be awkward too. Once April/May rolled around, all went back to normal…and has stayed that way.

Take comfort, this too shall pass. In the meantime, there’s DCUM 😉

OP here. You expressed it better than I did. I don't think I'm being competitive, because as far as I know, my kids friends are not applying early to the same schools as my kids and I would truly love to see good results for all of my kid's friends (and their parents). I just don't want to come off as nosy or braggy or even like a know-it-all, so I'm just trying to stay quiet.

So you are avoiding social contact with friends because you’re worried they’ll think you’re braggy?

The PP was right - you have anxiety. Go hang out with your friends for godsakes! You all probably need to share a good laugh and commiserate.