Are any other senior parents avoiding conversations with other senior parents?

[Anonymous]

I’m struggling with this too. I wish I had never discussed college stuff with anyone but it was really hard to avoid. A lot of my friends’ kids (and kid’s friends, whose parents I’m also friendly with) are applying to the same places.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the parent-crowd. I was lucky to be around parents whose attitude was “we’re in this together” and “everyone will land somewhere great”. And it stayed that way through the ED/RD/final decision rounds

[Anonymous]

No, I don’t avoid them. I may say: wishing you all good luck in the college apps! Just a general statement.

[Anonymous]

My youngest went to trade school instead of college. I never avoided a conversation. I was very proud of both of my kids. The one who went to college and the one who did not. I did not shy away from conversations about either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are any of the other senior parents here treading carefully when talking to other parents of seniors? I don't know why I'm being weird about it, but my worry about my kids' college outcome seems to be contributing to a desire to not hang out with other parents of seniors. I guess I don't feel like talking about college applications or outcomes or the stress of waiting for decisions, etc. so I'm limiting my social interactions. I think I'm mostly concerned about not seeming too interested in where the other seniors are applying, etc. and being that annoying, nosy mom who is digging for info from other parents about who applied where early, etc.

Am I the weird one here or are other parents here also doing the same? I'm not being a hermit or anything, but I typically reach out to other parents for coffee meet-ups, etc. and I realized that I have not been doing much of that.

You actually talked to the parents before ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't engage in the conversation. Always protect your child's privacy. "I'll let you know where he decides to attend".

Why do you need to let them know??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying real hard not to talk to any movie stars or Kennedys who have kids applying this year. I want to avoid all those Harvard vs. Old Dominion debates that have ruined previous winters.

Will you be my best friend?

[Anonymous]

I think people get too fraught about it! I don’t mind discussing it. In fact, it’s easier now than last year. My son’s apps are mostly in. The dye has been cast, there is very little any of us can do to change a trajectory.

I like talking about it because everyone is going through the same BS. Now if I had competitive friends I would not. But my friends are open and we gripe and laugh and feel better. I am not friends with my kid’s friends parents. Maybe that helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and others agreeing with her -- this is a you problem. You're competitive and you're projecting.

We raised four kids and never had a single conversation with any of their friends' parents about college when they were in high school. Not once.

Disagree with this. It depends on the school and the culture. I was warned off of such discussions by multiple parents of upperclassmen in prior years at our school, and everything they said was true. It's a competitive environment, and many parents spiral out during the admissions process. You can't always tell which parents, either, so best to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and others agreeing with her -- this is a you problem. You're competitive and you're projecting.

We raised four kids and never had a single conversation with any of their friends' parents about college when they were in high school. Not once.

Disagree with this. It depends on the school and the culture. I was warned off of such discussions by multiple parents of upperclassmen in prior years at our school, and everything they said was true. It's a competitive environment, and many parents spiral out during the admissions process. You can't always tell which parents, either, so best to avoid.

Theres always one or two overly aggressive parents who demand to know where your chlld is applying. My spouse takes the bait every time which can be even more exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I don’t talk to other students’ parents. I knew the parents in elementary school and part of middle. Know very few in high school.

The year my oldest applied we had close friends going through the same but the kids were all in different schools (mix of public and private). We talked about the process and the frustration, tried hard not to compare the kids.

I have a lot of friends/coworkers that know my kids and ask how it is going, some with kids that have been through it and some with toddlers.

I keep it very high level, mostly focus on what she wants to study and how she will really be happy wherever she lands.

[Anonymous]

This is an easy one for me. I can honestly answer that I truly have no idea where they are applying to, what is their essay about, or what is the status of their applications. I will add that DC refuses to share any information with me, and I trust that they will do their best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and others agreeing with her -- this is a you problem. You're competitive and you're projecting.

We raised four kids and never had a single conversation with any of their friends' parents about college when they were in high school. Not once.

The same. Two kids here. It never crossed our minds.

[Anonymous]

Like PP I can honestly say, I don’t know much, DS seems to have it in hand, no EDs so nothing to report until after May 1. That pretty quickly moves people to another topic.

[Anonymous]

I found it very strange last year when DC was applying to college. The parent community at DC’s small private school/class had been very communicative and engaged on all kinds of topics. Once college apps started, the dynamic changed overnight. No one really talked about their kid’s process, which as first-time parent accompanying DC through it all, came as a shock.

In retrospect, I can understand why everyone keeps to themselves somewhat, unless you’re closed friends. Each kid has their own experience and pressures and you can’t possibly know their reality, so parents are both protective of their own and reticent to misstep. Plus, there is a lot of overlap among applications within a class so that can be awkward too. Once April/May rolled around, all went back to normal…and has stayed that way.

Take comfort, this too shall pass. In the meantime, there’s DCUM 😉