Gift link: Life is Too Short to Fight with Family

[Anonymous]

Life is too short to enable and put up with toxic, harmful or even annoying people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fully support people have boundaries and even no contact with toxic people. But, I also feel like there are people that are frustrating and annoying in our families that we cut off too quickly and it doesn’t do anyone any good given the epidemic of loneliness we have in this country.

Do you know every detail of cutoffs? I don't know anyone who didn't spend years trying to make things work, even trying therapy to get new strategies. Do you feel the same way about divorce? Is there an actual epidemic of loneliness proven through research or was that just a catchy news heading? I know for me the fact I married a loving husband and had good friends and kids I adored was what kept me alive, but the emotional and verbal abuse from my mother made me have passive death wishes. It made me physically ill. If you met her, you would never believe those demons lived inside of her and you would assume I distanced over something that was not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I fully support people have boundaries and even no contact with toxic people. But, I also feel like there are people that are frustrating and annoying in our families that we cut off too quickly and it doesn’t do anyone any good given the epidemic of loneliness we have in this country.

Do you know every detail of cutoffs? I don't know anyone who didn't spend years trying to make things work, even trying therapy to get new strategies. Do you feel the same way about divorce? Is there an actual epidemic of loneliness proven through research or was that just a catchy news heading? I know for me the fact I married a loving husband and had good friends and kids I adored was what kept me alive, but the emotional and verbal abuse from my mother made me have passive death wishes. It made me physically ill. If you met her, you would never believe those demons lived inside of her and you would assume I distanced over something that was not a big deal.

Well, I certainly think some people on this site jump to cutting off contact over things like a MIL criticizing decorating choices or introvert relatives who don’t talk or ask about the grandkids much — which seems like quite an overreaction to me. There also seems to be a large number of young adult voices on TikTok, etc, complaining about their terrible childhoods and wanting to go no contact with their parents over things that don’t actually sound particularly harmful. And yes, there are real research studies about the social disconnection happening today.

But of course, the vast majority of people don’t go no contact without just cause. My sister cut our entire family off (parents and siblings) for years. While hurtful (because I think this is more about our parents than it is me and my sister), I wish her well. My sister and I are very low contact with our father (mom is dead now). We have plenty of justification to cut him off entirely, but we both have chosen to manage the situation through limited contact.

I’m not actually judging anyone who goes no contact. But I think people online jump to giving “no contact” advice that might be more extreme than necessary in some situations.

I’m sorry your mom was abusive and I’m glad you have found some peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happy Thanksgiving!
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/opinion/thanksgiving-family-fighting.html?unlocked_article_code=1.4U8.DH3l.iOT9SLkLA09G&smid=nytcore-ios-share

Oh BS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is too short to enable and put up with toxic, harmful or even annoying people.

This I wish I knew this in my 30s in my 60s I am much better at cutting people out that are toxic

[Anonymous]

Yup. Life is too short to fight.

And life is too short to deal with horrible people.

Just cut them out and forget about them. No fighting required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a guest article written by a boomer that studies gerontology. It’s very much from the boomer perspective as this is the generation most likely to become estranged due to their behaviors. Sure it would be nice for these people if they never faced consequences for their behavior and got to enjoy mistreating everyone around them under the umbrella ‘ your family, you have to put up with it’! However, it’s healthier for others to build connections with others who are respectful, enjoyable company and not entitled.

+1

Sorry, a-hole boomers. We don't have to put up with your mistreatment.

[Anonymous]

Ha ha ha!

The author can come spend the Holidays with my family, see how they like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha ha!

The author can come spend the Holidays with my family, see how they like it.

I can send an address to the author if they would like. It would be eye opening for them.

It's so nice not to hang around, help older relatives do a whole bunch of work and cooking to cater to my many mean insulting (and now MAGA) family members. It's why many family gatherings break up after the matriarch dies.

RIP Mom, and having to spend every Christmas getting insulted and exhausted. They can cook th it own damn holiday dinners now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Life is too short to fight.

And life is too short to deal with horrible people.

Just cut them out and forget about them. No fighting required.

+1

https://youtu.be/hPX2e5jDHuk

[Anonymous]

Mel Robbins-- barf. She is one of the biggest gritters. No credential to be spewing her love one another BS.

Let them... oh wait don't let them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mel Robbins-- barf. She is one of the biggest gritters. No credential to be spewing her love one another BS.

Let them... oh wait don't let them.

1000%. So tired of Mel Robbins - having an airport best seller doesn’t give you credentials to be providing mental health advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone’s “politics” directly harms others or bars them from civil rights/human rights, yes, I would rather not spend my time on Earth with them. So I’m good.

yeah. I had the same reaction. Some people are kind of irredeemable. There’s something about “sure she’s a Nazi. It have you tasted that Mac and cheese she brought?”

I won't allow anyone who's ignorant enough to misuse the word "nazi" at my house.

[Anonymous]

This article is so wrong on many levels. Watch this Oprah show : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMr8KgOZnXg

There is a hospice care nurse at the end of the show sharing her experience dealing with dying people whose children chose no contact, those people remain manipulative even on their death bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article is so wrong on many levels. Watch this Oprah show : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMr8KgOZnXg

There is a hospice care nurse at the end of the show sharing her experience dealing with dying people whose children chose no contact, those people remain manipulative even on their death bed.

I also posted the link above on Oprah’s recent show on Estrangement.

Can’t say I blame these folks