Why I am I so bothered by this? Aunt made comment about my breasts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is awful.

OP here. Thank you. That’s what I think too. But I come from a family that values “respecting elders” She is staying with us for a few more days and I have to remain civil and polite. This sucks.

OK - she made a comment, you found it irritating. Why would that bother you so much for several days that you would struggle to remain civil? Has she ever said anything nice to you? Own your decision about your breasts and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Sorry, this is what DH and I decided on together! We didn't ask your advice because we didn't know you were interested in my breasts!"

Wait that sounds just as creepy, that your DH was helping decide what size breasts you should get. There shouldn’t be a “we” here.

[Anonymous]

Because your aunt is ridiculous and rude.

You’re an adult, so presumably she’s an even older adult. Kindergarteners can understand “we don’t comment on other people’s bodies.” So can she.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt is visiting us for a few weeks. This morning she was looking at some beach pictures of me and said “why did you make your breasts so small? You should have made kept them a little bigger!” For background, I had a breast reduction surgery 13 years ago and I am very, very happy with my results.

I then told her they’ll probably grow a little with menopause. That’s when she pointed to her breasts and said “mine did not grow. They’re still the same!” As if to imply she still has her perfect size D breasts.

Anyway, I’m now really annoyed. My whole life I’ve struggled with body confidence (and she knows this). And if I bring this up with my family they will accuse me of being “overly sensitive.”

I am I right to be annoyed?

I'd be that snarky niece that would make a derogatory remark about her breasts

“God, Auntie. Those things are SO SAGGY. You should look into a reduction. You’d look so much better.”

[Anonymous]

You know the answer - you are bothered because you have body confidence issues. So you look to GET confidence from other people. And this hurt because it's a relative and an older woman - someone you thought you could look to for support.

You did what was right for your body, your health. She's talking about looks. You did the reduction for other reasons.

[Anonymous]

I'm a breast cancer survivor and am completely flat so I get comments like this with some regularity (because I don't have implants). My standard response might work for you...

"I chose what's best for me and you are free to choose differently if something else is best for you."

This usually shuts down further comments. Or the look on my face will if they persist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a breast cancer survivor and am completely flat so I get comments like this with some regularity (because I don't have implants). My standard response might work for you...

"I chose what's best for me and you are free to choose differently if something else is best for you."

This usually shuts down further comments. Or the look on my face will if they persist.

Great advice. Thanks PP!