Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Really? You are wasting energy on this?

Heck, my SIL has never given me a gift I've liked in the 15 years we've been related -- who cares? She isn't doing it to spite me and she probably thinks my taste is awful, too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:eww what a bunch of cheap people on this site! And i wonder if those are the same who post about their six figures + salaries! OP, I would be annoyed too. After all, she's family, from whom I would definitely expect a nicer gift than from friends. So 12 dollars simply means "I made no effort" attitude. btw, a friend gave DC a gift on the 1st bday and "forgot" to remove the price tag, which was 8 dollars. I simply don't feel like putting a thought on writing a thank you note, spending time finding out her address and money on the card and stamp.

You're disgusting. You need to grow up.

and you're very mature, ms. name caller.

It's incredibly immature to care how much a gift costs, especially for a baby. It's even more immature to withhold a thank you card because of it. Yep, that attitude is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I was just annoyed and wanted to post annoymously - that's what great about message boards!

Please this is so ongoing. At one point, before she had kids and we had one, she was worked up about having to buy us 3 gifts for Christmas (me, my DH and our kid) b/c that was 3 gifts she had to buy for us and we only had to buy them 2. Seriously. And she is my DH's older sister...

.

So gifts aren't her thing--either adjust your presents accordingly or decide not to be annoyed by the inequality.

This in bold.

[Anonymous]

You think $40 is a nice gift?? She is clearly teaching you a lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I get it.i gave my brother and his wife a jogging stroller at their baby shower, and at mine, they gave me a 15 dollar plastic baby bathtub. And yes, I was annoyed. Maybe not the nicest of reactions, but hey, I'm not perfect. Let's not be so quick to judge that OP is a wholly overprivileged value-less person because she vented anonymously to a bulletin board about a crappy gift. Its one of those things in life that are annoying and you can't say anything to family members...but DCUM gives you an outlet!

A baby bathtub is an essential...something you use almost every day, if not every day. I would be so pleased to see that someone got that from my registry. Truly a thoughtful gift. It would mean they were thinking about the needs of the baby. Because if no one got it from the registry, the parents would definitely have to go out and buy one -- it's not some frou frou nursery decoration. So I think your irritation is truly misplaced.

[Anonymous]

Your SIL sounds kinda cheap. Also sounds like there are deeper issues going on here. I'm with you, OP: for a niece's FIRST birthday, which is a special birthday, I would expect something nicer than a cheap outfit from Target. Or, better yet, it doesn't have to be expensive but could be something more meaningful, like a favorite children's book with a loving message inscribed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I get it.i gave my brother and his wife a jogging stroller at their baby shower, and at mine, they gave me a 15 dollar plastic baby bathtub. And yes, I was annoyed. Maybe not the nicest of reactions, but hey, I'm not perfect. Let's not be so quick to judge that OP is a wholly overprivileged value-less person because she vented anonymously to a bulletin board about a crappy gift. Its one of those things in life that are annoying and you can't say anything to family members...but DCUM gives you an outlet!

A baby bathtub is an essential...something you use almost every day, if not every day. I would be so pleased to see that someone got that from my registry. Truly a thoughtful gift. It would mean they were thinking about the needs of the baby. Because if no one got it from the registry, the parents would definitely have to go out and buy one -- it's not some frou frou nursery decoration. So I think your irritation is truly misplaced.

Wrong. Spending $15 on your sibling's shower gift is just cheap. (Are you the PP's sister-in-law, by any chance?!) If they wanted to get the bathtub, they could have made it a theme gift and gotten some baby towels/washcloths/bath toys to go along with it.

[Anonymous]

Ok, OP, I can see that there are deeper issues going on. The complaining about having to buy 3 gifts for you when you only had to buy 2 gifts for her would drive me nuts!

But clearly the issue is not how much the outfit cost or that it was from Target. I am assuming that it wouldn't bother you if it was coming from someone else, right?

Sounds like the issue is SIL and I guess I would have to agree with the pp who basically said that she is not going to change and you'll just have to figure out how to accept that.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

i discovered early on that one of the reasons why rich people are rich... is that they're unbelievably cheap.

lower your expectations and it'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

have you thought that maybe she didn't realize your gift cost more than hers? i have two kids and often have no idea how much various toys or outfits cost.

[Anonymous]

Seriously people - leave the OP alone. She vented to an anonymous forum - big deal. All you adopting a holier than thou attitude are FOS.

[Anonymous]

This has probably already been said but we have much more money than my sister's family. If we send the kids expensive gifts, I know she feels weird about it and resents the idea (not my idea) that she needs to reciprocate. I think she thinks we are showing off. So now I try to send gifts in the right price range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I get it.i gave my brother and his wife a jogging stroller at their baby shower, and at mine, they gave me a 15 dollar plastic baby bathtub. And yes, I was annoyed. Maybe not the nicest of reactions, but hey, I'm not perfect. Let's not be so quick to judge that OP is a wholly overprivileged value-less person because she vented anonymously to a bulletin board about a crappy gift. Its one of those things in life that are annoying and you can't say anything to family members...but DCUM gives you an outlet!

Here's the thing: it shouldn't be annoying at all. If it is, you really need to dig deep and figure out what's going on. I get the tackiest, cheapest, ugliest gifts ever from an aunt of mine, but she's got the biggest heart ever. I love those digbat gifts way more than if some shallow person spent a bunch on a gift, just to show off. Because on the other end of the spectrum, people who spend far too much are even more inappropriate, and are doing it to satisfy their fragile egos.

Really? I consider myself fortunate not to have to worry month-to-month whether I'll be able to pay all my bills, a level of financial security most of my family has never experienced. So when they have a wedding, or a baby shower, I like to get them the expensive thing that I know they need but can't afford (like the stroller) -- or a few mid-range gifts, if they haven't registered for anything in the range I was planning on spending. And for birthdays I generally spend more than they spend on me, because I can afford to and I want to get them something nice. I realize that it's unnecessary and not expected, but it never occurred to me that anyone might consider it inappropriate. Why should they get cheap presents just because they're broke? Would you give your less-well-off friends cheap gifts and your well-to-do friends expensive gifts, so the former don't think you're showing off and the latter don't think you're cheap?

[Anonymous]

At least she sent a gift. My BIL, who is DD#1's godfather seldom sends anything. At best, he sends a small book or puzzle. This year, he just sent a card. Her little sister doesn't even get a card from him. He never sends Christmas gifts.

He is as cheap as cheap can be and I've learned to expect absolutely nothing from him and really, from anyone else. It's just a nice surprise if anything does show up.

[Anonymous]

I don't do any gifts for my nieces and nephews because it turned into a nightmare every single time. There was never any appreciation for the gifts and in fact, there were a few occasions where I was asked to "take it back and get me what I said I wanted." Really? How about this, bucko. You'll get nothing and like it!