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When Did You Realize there was a trust fund?
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Anonymous
Spoken like someone who has a trust fund! 
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Anonymous
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My best friend has a trust fund, she works for the govt has a modest house and besides taking a great vacation every year - you'd never know it. I don't have a trust fund and I'd say we live pretty similar lives.
OP - try comparing yourself to those less fortunate than you vs those who have more. You'll feel better. |
Anonymous
| If you like your stuff more than you dislike your husband... |
Anonymous
How do you know everybody's net worth in your social circle? Do you discuss it? |
Anonymous
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Wow, this is such a strange thread! Why assume a trust fund? Maybe:
- your friend was mauled by a tiger at a young age and the circus paid a large amount of money to your parents, who put it in (yes) a trust for you - your friend has wealthy parents who bought him / her a house - worked all his / her life, saved well, invested well, and got lucky (maybe they bought stock in apple / google / yahoo / etc when everyone else was saying "what's that?") - works hard now and simply spends every cent he / she has, is heavily mortgaged and house poor (but not obviously so, since the credit has not yet run out). There are probably 50 more similar things that we could speculate about! I personally started working when I was 14 years old. My parents were BROKE. At first it was to buy a car, which I did at 16. Then it was to put myself through college (two years in I got a merit scholarship, but kept working anyway). When I moved to Washington, instead of having student debt, I had some modest savings. I lived in a group house until I had saved up enough for 20 percent down on a house on W street NW in 1999. (Remember what that area used to be like?). Had three roommates to help with the mortgage, discounted their rent for helping me fix the place up. I drove the same car I bought at 14 until it pooped out at 170K miles. I invested outside of my 401K and made some good choices (and some bad ones). Sold my first home in my late 20's and bought another modest house, invested most of it, and set myself up a "travel" fund and started having some adventures. Did it all on a non-profit salary. Doesn't this sound supremely boastful? you bet. That's why I never talk about it to my friends, unless they ask. But they don't. More than a few acquaintences, however, DID ask me if "my parents have money." Interesting, huh? In my early 30's, I met and married my best friend (we are in late 30's now). Turns out he has a trust fund. So I guess now, when people assume I have some kind of family money working in my favor, they're right. Well, sort of. You know what they say about assuming....... |
Anonymous
| I don't have a trust fund but I am somewhat envious of those who do. I think it has to do with feelings of security as I get older. The poster that said she/he had a fund that kicks in at 40, 50 and 60 basically sums it for me. I am happy with my life, our savings, spending etc. but I have that niggling discomfort about the future, no matter how much we save for it. Of course, a trust fund could belly up in this market so I guess none of us are really immune. |
Anonymous
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9:23 Of course not, not outright. But over time as you get to know people, you find out they own a second or even third home, pied-a-terres in New York and London (rentals but still!), etc. Or you hear stories about their parents and how wealthy they are. So I'm also talking about future net worth, a.k.a. inheritance.
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Anonymous
I'm the work since 14 poster directly above you. Honestly, I don't think any of us, trust fund or not, can afford to be immune from these worries. You're absolutely right -- the market could go belly up. We could start paying a ton more for food than we do now b/c of these crazy weather patterns and the havoc it's wreaking on crops. We could end up having a child get sick and require more care than our insurance will cover. We could lose a home to a flood. My investment dollars are actually doing better than my husband's trust fund at the moment...and my wealthy inlaws lost a bundle recently. Even if you have billions, you're probably okay, but there's no guarantee that the world will remain a relatively stable enough place for your children to actually inherit that money, that it's not dispossessed by some rogue govt someday, or if, god save us, someone drops a huge nuke on DC, NY, or another big US city. I think the only way I'd ever feel 100 percent safe and secure is if I knew how to live off the land and build things by myself, but even then mother nature can take it all away. KWIM or did I just eat crazy for breakfast today? 
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Anonymous
OK, let's take a different angle. I work for a small non-profit. We've had some hard times in recent years and boss suggested we cut out retirement contributions. Well, guess what...boss is a trustafarian, so he doesn't need his retirement. Or money to pay for his DCs' private schools, etc. When someone writes something like "how awful for parents to save money to provide their children with a good life!" - s/he really does not get it. My parents worked long hours for years, but there was only little left to save because they never earned much money. The made tremendous sacrifices for us. Most folks do the best they can, but that doesn't mean there is much, if any, left at the end of the day. One doesn't just "start up a trust fund." While I think OP may have been expressing some jealousy, I don't think it is such a big deal. I've known a fair amount of trustafarians or heavily subsidized folks over the years. I only care when they look to me to pay more than my fair share. If they want to stretch their money, then they need to cut their expenses, not look to me (who is caring for 3 generations) to underwrite their lifestyle. |
Anonymous
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How does PP know her boss has a trust fund?
I cannot fathom exchanging that kind of financial information with my boss. |
Anonymous
| I wasn't exchanging info - boss told me in matter-of-fact fashion some years ago. "We do not have to pay for kids' private achool or save for retiremnt because of X." I'd rather be clueless. |
Anonymous
| I wasn't exchanging info - boss told me in matter-of-fact fashion some years ago. "We do not have to pay for kids' private achool or save for retiremnt because of X." I'd rather be clueless. |
Anonymous
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OP, here's the thing. If you had a trust fund, you probably would have acquired a lifestyle which would make it hard to divorce without losing it. Just like now you feel like you can't divorce without seriously hurting your lifestyle. I'm guessing that like most of us you "lived up to your means" in your marriage and so it would hurt financially to get a divorce. But if you'd lived a much more modest lifestyle you could get divorced with no problem.
While you're looking enviously at the trust fund babies (and I would, too, for sure), the possibility is that if you had their money you might still find yourself in a situation where it would "hurt" financially to get a divorce. The only solution is to look to yourself and decide whether a divorce is more important than your current standard of living. But if you have to adjust downward, you can do it. Good luck! |
Anonymous
What is "fr**king" I could understand either "freaking" or "f**king" as a euphemism for "fucking", but why would you replace two letters in "freaking"? |
Anonymous
| 22:28 If boss didn't have a trust fund, s/he might still have stopped contributing to retirement funds, it's often the first perk to go. I'm not convinced you are underwriting the boss' lifestyle here. You have a job! There's a line in a short story by Lorie Moore about realizing that no matter what there's going to be someone in the room who's smarter than you, richer than you, prettier than you. That's life. |