Did you encourage your young adult DC to remain a virgin until marriage?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Their religiosity including virginity is their personal matter. Parents can only provide religious knowledge, rest is every adult's own choice. Religion is between a person and their God, not between them and their parents. ~ Muslim |
Anonymous
| To be fair in this day and age with birth control, STD cure, genetic testing to determine paternity etc, lots of old arguments warranting abstinence are not valid anymore. |
Anonymous
| God gives humans ability to mate and procreate at puberty, doesn't wait until they are done with maturity, college, savings and marriage. Are we questioning God's wisdom? |
Anonymous
|
I did not raise my kids in a purity culture, and they are now in their 40s. I am so grateful now that we did that because the toxic fallout that is quite evident now among those who were raised in a no sex before marriage narrative. It's a way to ensure a lot of bad decisions for the entirety of their adult life and so many people have spoken up. That being said, there were few good resources or treatment for HIV when my kids were in high school and college, so, no, we were not encouraging them to engage in casual sex, even though I am pretty sure they did in college- more or less in some capacity.
We need to take a lesson from previous generations- marriage was a social and economic contract, which favored men and provided security for females as they were unable to do so as single women. Also, children out of wedlock was considered a shameful crime. We have evolved as a society, and none of this is necessary nor should it ever be. Virginity is not a commodity. |
Anonymous
Most people misunderstand. It's not "postpone sex until marriage". It's "don't postpone marriage until sex". The point is to marry young and maximize reproductive years to grow the religion. |
Anonymous
Hell no. As the mom of my best friend in HS said, "you have to try on the shoe before you buy it." But I did encourage them (3, both genders) to wait until after HS, and, to be in a loving, kind, respectful relationship. 1 is out of college, 2 in college, and I have no idea when they lost their virginity - absolutely none of my business. Oh - taught all of them about consent and safe sex and to look out for others who look like they may need help if out at a bar or wherever, and to leave no friend behind. |
Anonymous
|
It's weird you think you'd know.
My best friend growing up was raised very fully in purity culture, had the ceremony and ring and all that. Her parents both worked for an evangelical Christan organization. She and her fiance lived together before they got married, she reversed course on it. But she absolutely did not let her parents know any of that. Her mom was actually stressing at the wedding that she'd get pregnant right away (she did not). As far as purity culture, people like Elizabeth Smart have talked about how the rhetoric ended up harming them when they were raped or sexually abused. All that stuff about chewed gum or crumpled flowers is incredibly harmful. |
Anonymous
I don’t understand what your point is, so because some church leaders molested girls, we should not teach our 8th graders about abstinence? |
Anonymous
This! It's not about abstinence. It's about marrying as young as possible and then having as much sex as possible, because you need to be fruitful and multiply. |
Anonymous
+2. Women can't have children after a certain age, and these days, that time period is very short compared to overall lifetime. Do you really think God intended for women to be wasting so many of those years in abstinence? Crazy. |
Anonymous
Because purity culture teaches children after they have been assaulted that they are ruined or used up. Elizabeth Smart talked about this in detail, how purity culture contributed to her control under her captor because she thought she was no longer worth anything after her rape. Teaching children that they are broken or chewed gum after sex then teaches them that their worth is gone when they have been molested. It keeps them under the control of abusers because "no one else will ever want you" and "if you tell, people will know you're chewed gum". |
Anonymous
I don’t think you read what I wrote. I said that the curriculum teaches an “abstinence now” to 8th graders. It does not teach abstinence until marriage. It also goes into what is a healthy relationship and what is not. It talks about the good, the bad and ugly. Check it out https://www.uua.org/lifespan/owl |
Anonymous
UUA.org is the website of the unitarian church, not Liberty university. UU is the most liberal denomination. They are not even considered to be Christian and there's nothing Christian in their service. I was just to the Arlington VA UU church today and there was not one mention of God |
Anonymous
I don't know about religious version of God but God as in nature, could've delayed puberty or fertility if wanted people to wait for development of prefrontal cortex or financial stability to get married. |
Anonymous
| Waiting for marriage to have sex is more of a social need about father being responsible for care of the kid and the mother, not just hooking up and not partnering for the consequences. |