How do you handle money for monthly child expenses?

[Anonymous]

We have separate checking accounts and a joint savings. Really it's not a big deal - I got married and I didn't see the need to give up my own checking account. One of the first things I noticed about my husband when I met him 15 years ago is that though he's never had a lot of money, he is a generous guy and a great tipper and is just not caught up in keeping track of every penny or going tit for tat.

Right now I have a certain amount of money in my checking to get me through until October 15. If DH has about the same, and we are both making purchases, automatic bill pay, groceries, lunch out, starbucks, etc. then one big expense could wipe it out. If you have thousands upon thousands might not be an issue but I use my debit card for EVERYTHING and I don't want the hassle of telling DH everytime I grab a latte.

We own our home together, have a joint savings, and we each contribute separately to our individual 401(k)s.

The way we work it out is: I transfer money at the end of every month from my checkings to our joint savings. The sum is half our mortgage, and half our daycare costs (which is automatically deducted from his paycheck since kids are in daycare at his work), and a bit to add to our savings acount every month. We take turns buying groceries typically, so those costs are pretty even week to week. He pays our other bills, I contribute to the 529 plan. He runs quite a few errands because he has a very flexible work schedule - target, home depot, etc. and pays for that. I do most of our Whole Foods runs (separate from main grocery shop). I pay our housekeeper once a month. Health insurance benefits for our family comes out of his paychecks because his company has great benefits. He takes care of the car (one car family) so those expenses add up.

It all evens out and we don't really keep track unless somebody is running unusually low. We discuss big purchases, but otherwise it really works out and finance has not been an issue for us. We are really on the same page when it comes to savings objectives, college fund objectives, retirement, and so on.

OP - my advice for you is to keep a budget or itemized list of your spendings and show him. He probably doesn't realize how much you are spending - those incidentals really add up.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a lot of good advice here. However, I think OP has much bigger problems than money management. From what she's saying her husband does not spend a dime of "his" money on their child. This is pathetic...he is pathetic and a poor excuse for a man.