People who tell you personal things when you didn't ask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this an older-lady thing? I've noticed it with my MIL and two 65+ neighbors. They just randomly start going on about their recent malady, work or home issue or some recent news that you have no interest in whatsoever but they feel the need to share.
ex: neighbors are standing around talking about whatever, Larla comes over and just starts going on about her home in Florida and how she has to go there this weekend to continue hurricane damage clean up. No one asked. It's as if she wants us to congratulate her on having a home in Florida and feel bad about the hurricane damage - which we all did last year when it happened. It's very awkward and annoying.

Do we all become like this? Or do they just have not enough outlets for sharing?

This is some MAJOR projection on friendly small talk that says a lot more about you than it does this person making light conversation.

[Anonymous]

I notice this too, older women with kids tend to over share things in their life. They seem to do it with strangers too. I’ve always been reserved and private so I don’t like hearing about it and I don’t like it either. Personally I feel when others tell me about their second home, that they are bragging. Most people do t have a second home. Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

I dislike when people share very personal info with no warning, but the example you gave doesn't fit. Talking about what you are going to do this weekend is casual shall talk. Also, repairing hurricane damage to a home seems reasonably general interest, and more interesting than a lot of other idle neighborhood talk.

I have had people tell me, in detail, how they allocate their income among mortgage, savings, and investment vehicles with no warning. This is bizarre and tacky to me. Some people shared details about their sex lives or marital problems. Please do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No offense OP but I don’t see what was wrong w/your neighbor discussing her home issue w/you.

It doesn’t seem like she was bragging about having a home in Florida to me….she likely was simply venting.
It doesn’t even seem like she was getting too personal either.

I wouldn’t have been annoyed OR offended by any of what was discussed and am surprised that anyone would be….

+1 OP has a very unusual take on this.

[Anonymous]

It's called conversation and yes old people complain about their ailments. It's all they have to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it’s a personality thing. I’ve known one mom for 15 years, since our kids were in K, and every single encounter I have with her includes her telling me where she is in her cycle, what side effects she has, what symptoms of perimenopause she has, how heavy her flow is/was, what hurts, and a lot more. I have never, ever, even once, asked about any of this. It just happens.

Very weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dislike when people share very personal info with no warning, but the example you gave doesn't fit. Talking about what you are going to do this weekend is casual shall talk. Also, repairing hurricane damage to a home seems reasonably general interest, and more interesting than a lot of other idle neighborhood talk.

I have had people tell me, in detail, how they allocate their income among mortgage, savings, and investment vehicles with no warning. This is bizarre and tacky to me. Some people shared details about their sex lives or marital problems. Please do not.

Sharing marital problems is fairly universal, especially in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree it’s a personality thing. I’ve known one mom for 15 years, since our kids were in K, and every single encounter I have with her includes her telling me where she is in her cycle, what side effects she has, what symptoms of perimenopause she has, how heavy her flow is/was, what hurts, and a lot more. I have never, ever, even once, asked about any of this. It just happens.

You don’t commiserate about peri with others your age? I feel like all of us do . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree it’s a personality thing. I’ve known one mom for 15 years, since our kids were in K, and every single encounter I have with her includes her telling me where she is in her cycle, what side effects she has, what symptoms of perimenopause she has, how heavy her flow is/was, what hurts, and a lot more. I have never, ever, even once, asked about any of this. It just happens.

You don’t commiserate about peri with others your age? I feel like all of us do . .

God bless all the women who have been candid about perimenopaus around me, because it explained so much when it hit and I knew where to start looking for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike when people share very personal info with no warning, but the example you gave doesn't fit. Talking about what you are going to do this weekend is casual shall talk. Also, repairing hurricane damage to a home seems reasonably general interest, and more interesting than a lot of other idle neighborhood talk.

I have had people tell me, in detail, how they allocate their income among mortgage, savings, and investment vehicles with no warning. This is bizarre and tacky to me. Some people shared details about their sex lives or marital problems. Please do not.

Sharing marital problems is fairly universal, especially in this area.

With someone you barely know? No. It's also a bad idea because when people have problems in a marriage, it might be a temporary challenge that will blow over in a bit, or it could be a sign of impending divorce. Sharing problems with an acquaintance or casual friend will give the impression that it's a bad marriage and you want out, even if really you are just working through some inevitable conflict. And then that person will always view your marriage negatively even when it's back to a better place, because they don't know you well enough to understand it's a passing issue.

My spouse and I have our little issues from time to time, but the only people I'd share them with are a handful of very close friends who know us both well enough to understand the context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called conversation and yes old people complain about their ailments. It's all they have to talk about.

A friend describes the tendency of the retired to do this "the organ recital."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's called conversation and yes old people complain about their ailments. It's all they have to talk about.

Yes - but it’s not polite conversation. It’s a thing for old people to discuss their medical conditions and sometimes go into dreadful and humiliating detail while telling you things which no person wants to hear. Slowly.

[Anonymous]

Change the topic on them mid-sentence.

"So how about that local sports team! Whoa, look at the time, gotta run!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this an older-lady thing? I've noticed it with my MIL and two 65+ neighbors. They just randomly start going on about their recent malady, work or home issue or some recent news that you have no interest in whatsoever but they feel the need to share.
ex: neighbors are standing around talking about whatever, Larla comes over and just starts going on about her home in Florida and how she has to go there this weekend to continue hurricane damage clean up. No one asked. It's as if she wants us to congratulate her on having a home in Florida and feel bad about the hurricane damage - which we all did last year when it happened. It's very awkward and annoying.

Do we all become like this? Or do they just have not enough outlets for sharing?

No, it’s not. What sort of dysfunctional thinking is this?

See a therapist to correct your character defect. You sound like a Crazy Unicorn Needing Tea.