Why staying in Biglaw?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes career decisions are puzzling. I have a friend who I worked with for 7 years at a big systems integrator. They kept dangling the promotion carrot in front of him but he never got the senior role he has been looking for. When I switched jobs, my new company was hiring and had an opening for a position that was perfect for him. It was the management position he was looking for. He interviewed and was offered the position. He declined even though the pay was substantially better as well as the work life balance. I never understand the reasoning for why he declined.

[Anonymous]

Clearly she likes it.

Would you ask the same question if she were a surgeon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly she likes it.

Would you ask the same question if she were a surgeon?

Not the same. Surgeons are literally saving lives, and there is an obvious redeeming quality central to the profession. Big law? Not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly she likes it.

Would you ask the same question if she were a surgeon?

I guess not.

[Anonymous]

If we are just speculating, maybe she has a very expensive secret vice. Like she bets the ponies and is in deep to a bookie. Or she’s got a series of younger lovers she keeps in style. Or she’s has a parent who is ill and who she is supporting. Or she’s is bank rolling a moon mission. Or maybe she is supporting an orphanage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You keep saying she’s “normal” with the implication that continuing in her highly successful and lucratively compensated long-term position is abnormal behavior

Your fixation on her and bringing this question to an anonymous message board rather than simply asking your friend doesn’t seem “normal”

As usual, it didn't take long for another DCUM thread to deteriorate into nastiness and insults by an obviously unhappy person.

I'm not "fixated" on her by a long shot. And as I said, we WILL ask her. The conversation that led me to post this on this anonymous forum just happened the other day, and we haven't seen her yet. I posted it only because I thought it raised what might be a generally interesting topic for the forum. If you disagree, skip to the next thread and move on.

Having said all that, yes, I do find it abnormal that a smart, healthy, pretty, happily married, fun, pleasant, childless and non-extravagant woman in her mid 40s who already has millions of dollars banked would continue to slog away 12 hours a day during the week and sometimes weekends (as I know she does) for Biglaw.

Talk about nastiness. You are really the most annoying DCUM poster…you post an idiotic thread and then you constantly post snarky comments when you literally asked people to comment.

Go ask your stupid friend and report back…after that just go away.

Ok, thanks. In the meantime, help me out by first showing me where I was snarky beyond responding to this snark. Then explain why you are choosing to participate in an "idiotic" thread.

Stupid is as stupid does, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get it either. If she's that good which I assume she is surely she can service half of her clients or whatever % and work less hard be it at her current firm or another firm. She would have the same engaging work, just not as much of it, that seems like the winning play to me if you dont need the money.

My bet is things aren't good at home and she is avoiding it.

You'd be wrong. Things are fine by all appearances on the home front. We've socialized with her and the husband. Again, no kids.

I get liking the money. I liked the money. But clearly she now has plenty.

I thought this was snarky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Partners often are not making 2mm per year, if she is a newer partner, she is likely not an equity partner, and making between 500-1mm. Maybe she also likes making a ton of money and wants to retire with a luxurious lifestyle at 50.

Sigh. As I said, I was a partner in the same firm. I was equity, and so is she.
I have a very good idea of how much money she's making. No doubt it's $2 million plus.

Yeah, what kind of crazy person would want that salary?! She must be a real wackadoodle

Well, I left the same firm so . . .

Maybe you are actually jealous that she could hack it but you are in such denial you are flipping the situation to make her out to have some unseen flaw to make yourself feel better about your own decisions. It feels good to place yourself on higher ground and wondering why someone wants to earn a lot of money as if its unthinkable because you quit. Your choices are not the standard for normalcy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You keep saying she’s “normal” with the implication that continuing in her highly successful and lucratively compensated long-term position is abnormal behavior

Your fixation on her and bringing this question to an anonymous message board rather than simply asking your friend doesn’t seem “normal”

As usual, it didn't take long for another DCUM thread to deteriorate into nastiness and insults by an obviously unhappy person.

I'm not "fixated" on her by a long shot. And as I said, we WILL ask her. The conversation that led me to post this on this anonymous forum just happened the other day, and we haven't seen her yet. I posted it only because I thought it raised what might be a generally interesting topic for the forum. If you disagree, skip to the next thread and move on.

Having said all that, yes, I do find it abnormal that a smart, healthy, pretty, happily married, fun, pleasant, childless and non-extravagant woman in her mid 40s who already has millions of dollars banked would continue to slog away 12 hours a day during the week and sometimes weekends (as I know she does) for Biglaw.

Talk about nastiness. You are really the most annoying DCUM poster…you post an idiotic thread and then you constantly post snarky comments when you literally asked people to comment.

Go ask your stupid friend and report back…after that just go away.

Ok, thanks. In the meantime, help me out by first showing me where I was snarky beyond responding to this snark. Then explain why you are choosing to participate in an "idiotic" thread.

Stupid is as stupid does, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get it either. If she's that good which I assume she is surely she can service half of her clients or whatever % and work less hard be it at her current firm or another firm. She would have the same engaging work, just not as much of it, that seems like the winning play to me if you dont need the money.

My bet is things aren't good at home and she is avoiding it.

You'd be wrong. Things are fine by all appearances on the home front. We've socialized with her and the husband. Again, no kids.

I get liking the money. I liked the money. But clearly she now has plenty.

I thought this was snarky

It wasn't meant to be. I was just stating a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Partners often are not making 2mm per year, if she is a newer partner, she is likely not an equity partner, and making between 500-1mm. Maybe she also likes making a ton of money and wants to retire with a luxurious lifestyle at 50.

Sigh. As I said, I was a partner in the same firm. I was equity, and so is she.
I have a very good idea of how much money she's making. No doubt it's $2 million plus.

Yeah, what kind of crazy person would want that salary?! She must be a real wackadoodle

Well, I left the same firm so . . .

Maybe you are actually jealous that she could hack it but you are in such denial you are flipping the situation to make her out to have some unseen flaw to make yourself feel better about your own decisions. It feels good to place yourself on higher ground and wondering why someone wants to earn a lot of money as if its unthinkable because you quit. Your choices are not the standard for normalcy.

Speaking of "snarky . . ."

If you're hoping for a snarky response in return you're not going to get one from me. All I will say is that she's actually told ME that SHE'S jealous of my decision, not vice-versa, and that's part of the reason why it's all so puzzling.

I have as many regrets in life as the next person, but leaving Biglaw when I did (as an equity partner with a plenty big nest egg) is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask her?

Yea, we're gonna. She wasn't with us at the time and it just came up in conversation.

Did you intend to write: "yeah, we're going to" ?

No Biglaw partner or Biglaw lawyer writes as you did in the above post.

[Anonymous]

She likes her work and her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who have been doing one thing for their entire adult lives have a hard time stepping away (regardless of the money). It becomes a part of their identity.

Not to knock OP too much but she may also view others who have stepped away from Biglaw for lifestyle reasons or part-time work as weaker. That makes leaving harder.

OP here. I'm quite confident that she doesn't view me as weak and has plenty of respect for me. I'm also much older. She's also told me repeatedly that she admires me for leaving. And I believe her. She's not a duplicitous person.

You're naive.

[Anonymous]

Prestige, power, money, intellectual stimulation, and social factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask her?

Yea, we're gonna. She wasn't with us at the time and it just came up in conversation.

Did you intend to write: "yeah, we're going to" ?

No Biglaw partner or Biglaw lawyer writes as you did in the above post.

This one does. I'm not a Biglaw partner anymore, and this isn't a brief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who have been doing one thing for their entire adult lives have a hard time stepping away (regardless of the money). It becomes a part of their identity.

Not to knock OP too much but she may also view others who have stepped away from Biglaw for lifestyle reasons or part-time work as weaker. That makes leaving harder.

OP here. I'm quite confident that she doesn't view me as weak and has plenty of respect for me. I'm also much older. She's also told me repeatedly that she admires me for leaving. And I believe her. She's not a duplicitous person.

You're naive.

Maybe. Then again, this forum is full of posts from Biglaw lawyers saying they want out and former Biglaw lawyers saying how glad they are to have gotten out. Right?