Should parents who travel a lot for work always bring back soemthing for kids?

[Anonymous]

I really hate trinkets and clutter and I have never brought my kids anything from my business travel (it’s not like I go to exotic locations…most recent trip was Huntsville Alabama).

But the change in behavior and your kid being upset about it makes it different. My kids don’t expect a trinket but yours does, and that would be enough to convince me to do something on at least most trips.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

I travel a lot and I can't take away the fact that work takes me away from my kids, but I can not spend one dollar more than I have to on a trip buying useless crap. I spend my $ on things they actually want/need at home.

DH will buy things for them if he sees something special, but he doesn't travel as much as me and his days are not as long/he has more time to eat/wander sleep on his trips.

The gifts I wouldn't care about- the change in facetime/daily check ins-especally with kids, I would. But based on the title of your post the 'things' bother you more than the 'time'.

[Anonymous]

We try to FaceTime or trade videos a few times during trip. Sometimes there are more coming from home. He gets really homesick and it helps. Time zones can be problematic. To be fair I fall even less when away. I’m usually at a professional training, studying, overstimulated and need to rest.

As far as gifts. Maybe 75% of the time maybe more for kid. A bit less for me. He tends to not have much personal time when on travel so it’s often something from the airport. It’s often a T-shirt or stuffy, sometimes a neat local souvenir.

On longer trips sometimes I request specific things, like Turkish towels or fabric from the market. Sometimes it’s nice hand cream or tea if it’s a place known for that. He can’t alway get them- and is legitimately busy/on fumes most of trip unless we can get him a weekend or rest day built in.

[Anonymous]

He needs to make time to FaceTime her. Even if it's five minutes. He needs to connect with her, and she needs to feel he's thinking of her while he's traveling. My dad used to only sometimes bring us something - we were as excited to get a t-shirt as we were to get a pen or palm-sized pad of paper he took from the desk in his hotel room. If he left before we woke up in the morning, he'd leave us a note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to make time to FaceTime her. Even if it's five minutes. He needs to connect with her, and she needs to feel he's thinking of her while he's traveling. My dad used to only sometimes bring us something - we were as excited to get a t-shirt as we were to get a pen or palm-sized pad of paper he took from the desk in his hotel room. If he left before we woke up in the morning, he'd leave us a note.

OP and I think you really understand. I wish you and your dad could sit my DH down and give him a parenting come-to-Jesus.

The last straw for me was the most recent nothing trip was one where DD sent an emoji laden text about the first day of school. DH never replied. I asked him about it and he said that he couldn’t text back and there are times when he is going to be with new partners and clients that he can’t talk to us.

24 hours a day he’s so busy that he can’t even give an emoji back?

And anyway, what clients or partners are going to fault a man who steps away for 30 seconds for his DD? A woman, sure, but a man would be lauded.

So flimsy of an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He needs to make time to FaceTime her. Even if it's five minutes. He needs to connect with her, and she needs to feel he's thinking of her while he's traveling. My dad used to only sometimes bring us something - we were as excited to get a t-shirt as we were to get a pen or palm-sized pad of paper he took from the desk in his hotel room. If he left before we woke up in the morning, he'd leave us a note.

OP and I think you really understand. I wish you and your dad could sit my DH down and give him a parenting come-to-Jesus.

The last straw for me was the most recent nothing trip was one where DD sent an emoji laden text about the first day of school. DH never replied. I asked him about it and he said that he couldn’t text back and there are times when he is going to be with new partners and clients that he can’t talk to us.

24 hours a day he’s so busy that he can’t even give an emoji back?

And anyway, what clients or partners are going to fault a man who steps away for 30 seconds for his DD? A woman, sure, but a man would be lauded.

So flimsy of an excuse.

My dad called us every single night when he was traveling. And that was in the 80's! The only exception in my entire childhood was the time he went to China for two weeks because the time change was so difficult. Tell your DH he can even lead the charge with colleagues and say "Can we all take a five minute break to go call our families or use the restroom?" I'm sure they'll all be happy for the reminder/break. They can all spare five minutes from their happy hour or whatever. Your DH could have taken fifteen seconds to write back "Sounds like the first day was exciting - can't wait to hear all about it when I get home Thursday! Love you!" Your DH is making a choice and this will affect the relationship your daughter wants to have with him when he's retired and she's the one who's busy. Play your DH the song Cat's Cradle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom and don’t like FaceTiming while traveling either, and I’m definitely not having an affair. My workaround is to send/receive video messages. I do always bring them something.

But this guy isn't sending messages either or bringing them something. Why do posters -- and this isn't just on DCUM -- always feel the need to bring up scenarios that aren't even that similar.

[Anonymous]

When my dh travels he always makes time to FaceTime the family. It can be 2-3 minutes.

How is he at home?