New life as single mom- how to optimize/will I be ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:shouldn't you be getting child support?

He's unemployed

Oh man, you hit a jackpot didn’t you?!?!

Sigh, the sad part is I really really thought I did. For 10 years he was my best friend, highest confidant, team member towards our goals. We had two healthy kids, a goofy dog, house in a great school district, good jobs with even better work-life balance. I have no idea, early mid life crisis or late onset mental health issues. But it spiraled fiercely and quickly. He even physically looks different, has different mannerisms, texts differently. Still catches me off guard every time I see him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really need to find a wealthy man as soon as possible.

Lol. Preferably one who's about to die and won't make you sign a pre-nup. That's your immediate homework. Go! Go! Go!

[Anonymous]

Op you got this. I echo others…first emergency fund, then retirement match, then any additional split between individual retirement (Roth) and 529. I do 4k year per kid in 529 (which is the most you can deduct in Virginia) but otherwise invest in a separate investment account. If you set up an additional investment account look at something simple, like a three fund strategy via vanguard.

Your kids are young and 529 is not as critical as retirement and emergency. Hopefully your ex will be able to eventually contribute but for now getting a handle on your finances is both critical and empowering. You are also young and will have thirty years to build your retirement fund.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. Once daycare is over seems like you will have about 4k expenses and 4k leftover. I suspect your expenses will be higher because stuff just comes up and I get the sense that you have tested your budget over a period of months. But let’s say you have 3k leftover over monthly. I would put in your match and the rest in a hysa until your emergency fund is at 20k. Then I’d focus on Roth; investment and 529.

[Anonymous]

You got this OP.

Here is some money stuff I wish I knew when I was your age. You will hear lots of financial advice. Disclaimer. This is not financial or legal advice. Just some rules of thumb.

You probably are not in a position to take on a lot of risk with your investments. Some basic things that you should keep in mind.

* First, be very sure you have a will and someone who can represent to the probate court that it is your last will and testament. You also need someone you can trust as an intended truste. Should something happen to you, you want your assets in trust for your two children. Your XH is likely to fritter them. You do not want him as trustee. This is not a complex estate planning issue. Your family law attorney can probably recommend someone to do this relatively inexpensively.

* If there is an employer match on your 401k, contribute enough to get the full match.

* Do not prepay the mortgage, you can beat 3% right now. You can always prepay in the future. Also, you are paying the 3% with pretax money.

* Avoid fees. Financial advisors push funds that have lots of hidden fees. That eats into your returns. A good plan is Fidelity brokerage and IRA. In the fidelity accounts buy Vanguard funds. Vanguard will hit you with weird fees in the brokerage accounts but their mutual funds and ETFs have some of the lowest expense ratios in the industry.

* If you switch jobs, roll the 401k from the old employer into a rollover IRA. It’s your money and you should control it as much as possible. Many small companies use bottom feeding fiduciaries to run their retirement accounts. With higher fees.

* you mentioned your parents put their money in a savings account. You can just buy a Treasury ETF and get a higher yield at no risk. Also, if you have some funds that are not in a retirement account, the interest on Treasury obligations is free from state and local taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've done great work with your student loan, home ownership, and paying off your care.

You should prioritize maxing out retirement contributions, adding to an emergency fund until you get to 6 months of expenses, and saving a token amount into the kids' 529 plans. Once you have an adequate emergency fund, increase 529 contributions.

I agree that you are doing well.

You sound like a mature, responsible adult.

I was a single mom also, and did not start saving for my child’s college until she was seven, and at the beginning it was only $50 a month! By the time she was going to college , I was naming a lot more and could save a ton more.

I agree with what others have said, and have confidence in your judgement and capabilities. Focus on succeeding at work and as a mom (your kids could even win scholarships !) Good luck!

+1

You are doing great, OP.

[Anonymous]

You’re doing great OP and sound like a good person.
Does your children’s dad have an interest in the house?

[Anonymous]

OP, beware that the end of daycare years still likely means before and after care and extracurricular expenses for your kids. While you will see some savings, it won’t be as much as you think, so plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Don't you get child support? I make your salary and pay $2200/month + health insurance for 2 kids. I was also paying alimony but that's done. And in NY I have to pay child support until 21 even when my kids go to college instill have to continue paying child support even though they are no longer home.

Go after your ex. Perhaps your state is lenient? In NY even if unemployed they will input an amount and the longer you are unemployed the more in arrears you will have to pay back

[Anonymous]

Wow how do you get $8k on $135k salary?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow how do you get $8k on $135k salary?

Op here- does that not seem right? My checks are $3,975 twice a month so $7,950.

[Anonymous]

Do you get paid every 2 weeks? If so, it’s 26x3,975 or 103,350 and with taxes and insurance, that’s about right.

Good luck - it sounds like you are very responsible and doing all of the right things. Keep up the great work!

[Anonymous]

Lots of good advice here but I just want to add that you should be able to get that cell phone and internet down from $150/ month.

[Anonymous]

Chiming in again to say that term life insurance and a will that protects your home and any assets for your children should be part of your plan if you don’t already have this set up. They’re lucky to have one stable and responsible parent.