SAHM to Empty Nester- Having a hard time

[Anonymous]

Be proud you raised five successful children and look forward to your next chapter in life.

[Anonymous]

You need to give yourself permission and space to grieve the ending of this season of your life. Hobbies or a part time job may help give your days structure down the line but they won’t make this period of adjustment and sadness less painful. Either way you need to walk through the hard feelings to get to the good stuff waiting for you in the next phase of your life. I just got the gut punch of my oldest returning to college (I’ll be an empty nester next fall) and allowed myself space to be a puddle all weekend, only wear soft clothes, listen to sad songs, order in, and watch Jane Austen adaptations. I’m already feeling better after having a few days of truly wallowing and feeling the changes now and just around the corner. Good luck OP, we’ll all be in your shoes at some point.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you are really empty nester with nothing to do? LOL. Honey, it lasts less than 6 months to a year in my case and the case of my friends.

As soon as my kids went to college, I was busy like hell -
- Providing care to the elderly family members.
- The kids were back each summer for internships, jobs, WFH etc and the house was full again. And I was not driving the schedule so it was mini chaos.
- Decluttering home. Getting home repairs and maintenance done.
- Prepping for kid's job moves, prepping for weddings, prepping for births,
- Providing childcare to grandkids
- Medical care, health for DH and I
- Travelling
- Swedish death cleanse beginning, minimalism
- Getting in touch with family and friends.
- Putting all our legal affairs in order.
- Exercise and good nutrition for DH and I.
- Volunteer.

Being a SAHM was easy. There was some sense to the daily routine. Being an empty nester is Fake News. You are just pulled into being a all-purpose help provider to parents, siblings, kids, neighbors, friends.

[Anonymous]

Time for you to be "you" instead of just "mom".

[Anonymous]

Two years before my youngest left I took a low paying job at a non profit whose mission I had passion for and I worked about 20-25 hours a week. I also started taking painting and sculpting lessons and I've now turned it into a small but fun business. The key was I got busy doing things I really enjoyed doing. Being busy is the key to being an empty nester.

[Anonymous]

Plan family trips together.

I’d assume your oldest is like 26? Maybe you’re close to being a grandma in the next 5 years.

How can you all afford life if you were a sahm and your husband retired at 49?? And had 5 kids in college?? Whats your secret?

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, your seasonal guests will be back before you know it.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, you might have a grandkid soon to babysit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you are really empty nester with nothing to do? LOL. Honey, it lasts less than 6 months to a year in my case and the case of my friends.

As soon as my kids went to college, I was busy like hell -
- Providing care to the elderly family members.
- The kids were back each summer for internships, jobs, WFH etc and the house was full again. And I was not driving the schedule so it was mini chaos.
- Decluttering home. Getting home repairs and maintenance done.
- Prepping for kid's job moves, prepping for weddings, prepping for births,
- Providing childcare to grandkids
- Medical care, health for DH and I
- Travelling
- Swedish death cleanse beginning, minimalism
- Getting in touch with family and friends.
- Putting all our legal affairs in order.
- Exercise and good nutrition for DH and I.
- Volunteer.

Being a SAHM was easy. There was some sense to the daily routine. Being an empty nester is Fake News. You are just pulled into being a all-purpose help provider to parents, siblings, kids, neighbors, friends.

I LOLed at how many of these are preparation for you dying. Grim! Glad I still work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you just have to grieve. You just do. Let yourself feel it fully, journal about it (you can throw out what you write if you don’t want anyone to read it), cry in the car, cry in the shower, cry at the dinner table.

You won’t cry forever. You won’t. But this is a big change, and the fact is you feel grief for what was, and there’s just no way past grief but through it.

Feel what you feel, observe yourself feeling it, and leave room for it to evolve. It will. It always does.

In the meantime be good to yourself.

I love this advice. +1
I am also a SAHM and although I still have about 7 years to go, I am already feeling the need to start preparing my heart. Hugs Op.

[Anonymous]

Time for a job.

[Anonymous]

You need something to take care of, plants or animals, or do a hobby with your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time for a job.

Read the thread. This isn’t a SAHM problem.