Lazy Daughter

[Anonymous]

You have a husband issue.
Your daughter absolutely needs a job and her own place ..

[Anonymous]

Your husband is enabling her behavior. Deal with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would be a marriage-ender for me
but this is so messed-up, it might be a troll post

+1

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a slattern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re overreacting a bit too much, the twenties are a time to explore and live life a little.

It’s also the time to learn to live and function as an independent adult.

But her father will not let her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is enabling her behavior. Deal with him.

Not enabling he’s requiring her to live at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who's paying her bills? You can't enable her then complain. Stop paying her bills.

Op said she has a job so she’s paying her own bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a big difference between an adult child living at home and funding their entire life. If they’re working hard and living home to save money for a short period that’s fine. If they’re living at home doing nothing and you’re funding their lifestyle and insurance then that’s a parenting fail.

No, by 28 they should be out, period

Her father does not want her to move , perhaps she’s just honoring her father’s wishes .

[Anonymous]

IMO, I would be ok with my 28 yr old living at home, paying rent, cooking their own food, cleaning up after themselves. Basically, they'd be a tenant.

But, I also feel this way because I want to travel for long periods, and want someone to be in the house when I'm gone. I'm trying to convince one of my kids to stay in the house after graduation. LOL

If they are working FT, paying their own way, I don't think I would have as much of an issue with this. But, if they are not doing those things, yes, this is a problem. Your DH is definitely enabling her. Is he thinking some guy is going to swoop in and take care of her? Bad idea. One, that may never happen, and then what? Two, even if that happens, no guarantee that the man is not abusive or cheats on her. Then what? He's basically made her dependent on someone else such that she would have to put up with the abuse.

As the saying goes: a man is not a plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD, 28, has finished college, six years ago. She lives with us, upon her father’s insistence. She is very lazy and unbothered. It’s not that she can’t find a job, she’s just not looking. She goes out partying and on dates with people far too old for her, but mostly she sleeps. She’s not depressed, she’s pretty happy, but I’m not. DH won’t let me make her move out, my nagging isn’t working, and I’m worried I raised a mooch. What to do?

Wait, she's living her best life. Sort of....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who's paying her bills? You can't enable her then complain. Stop paying her bills.

Op said she has a job so she’s paying her own bills.

Re-read please. OP said she doesn't have a job. "It’s not that she can’t find a job, she’s just not looking."

[Anonymous]

OP - How is she affording this luxury lifestyle?

I'm sure she has a car, phone, nice clothes to go out, cash to go out, makeup, nails, hair, etc.

I would not kick her out (yet) but would stop paying for everything, immediately, and put some boundaries. "My house, my rules".

Basically, all she would get be a roof over her pretty head.

That's how my parents did it for me when I was 26... I finally got a "real" job at that age and within 2 years I was out the home and married. I needed that "push".

I've been married for over 20 years!