Location Sharing

[Anonymous]

I would be mad about the double standard - he was watching you all this time, but when you called him on it, he won't share.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, I am not sure how to advise! My dh, and one dc definitely track me but I don’t track them as I’m not into tech. Once my dc was abroad and we were chatting and I sad “ wait..I need to figure out which way to turn and they said ..mom it’s on the left”. I loved it.

But, I would be SO hurt and perplexed if my spouse said they “ were not comfortable “ with me tracking them. I mean what?! If someone is “ not comfortable “ then there is a reason. I mean they could say “ checking up on makes me feel like you don’t trust me” which is different.

I just don’t get any of this. I have no interest in the technology so I won’t do it. If my family wants to track me for any reason go for it. I get that we are still individuals and my thoughts are my thoughts but where I shop, have lunch/ dinner, go to appointments, work, and visit friends are open to my family and anyone else. I cannot remember anytime I have been anywhere that I would be concerned if someone knew.

Oh, and actually, my Apple Watch popped up the other day with “ share your route” and I said to my dh that probably a good idea ( I am a runner)!

You all definitely need to discuss!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't let anyone know my location. I'm 60 btw. I just had this conversation wi/my 30yr adult son who doesn't understand my POV. He shares with so many people. "Mom, you don't go anywhere interesting!" True! Been happily married for 30 years.

Still, I'm not sharing. There would have to be some health crisis or some reason I can't even imagine. It's just a mindset. Drop your objection, Op.

You said a lot without actually saying what your POV is.

Also, OPs husband has no problem checking on his wife so whatever his objection might be is not relevant when it comes to other people, apparently. So hyopcriutical. I would most definitely not be "dropping the objection."

It would only be hypocritical if he had asked OP to share her location, which he apparently did not. She chose to.

I’m also old (mid 50’s) and would feel like a creep tracking my husband’s location. Ick. Clearly generational.

He felt it necessary to ask her originally and get it set up on his phone.

OP here. Yes, that’s correct. When he set it up, he sent me a prompt to share my location.

I'd be doing some "research" if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since there are - obviously - different points of view, why OP, would you choose to think the worst?

I imagine because anyone I share my life and my bed with shoudln't feel nervous about me knowing where they are. Crazy I know.

OP here. Yes, that’s how I feel. Plus, while people can have different views on location sharing, I think it’s really hypocritical to use my location sharing yet have some fundamental problem with it and be unwilling to share his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since there are - obviously - different points of view, why OP, would you choose to think the worst?

I imagine because anyone I share my life and my bed with shoudln't feel nervous about me knowing where they are. Crazy I know.

OP here. Yes, that’s how I feel. Plus, while people can have different views on location sharing, I think it’s really hypocritical to use my location sharing yet have some fundamental problem with it and be unwilling to share his.

PP you responded to here and I would feel the exact same way. Did he give you any reasons?

[Anonymous]

DH here: yeah, this is pretty shady. I think people are entitled to privacy in their phones, it’s kind of an extension of your brain and you should have a private space there, but we have location sharing on and I’ve never thought twice about it. The fact that he set it up for everyone but him..questionable. May not be cheating, but its kind of shady.

[Anonymous]

So if you called your wife on the phone and said "hey hon, where are you?" and she responded with, "none of your business. I need my privacy." that's totally ok with you?

We don't converse that way. We don't say, "where are you?"
We might text, "hey if it's convenience on the way home, can you pick up a gallon of milk?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So if you called your wife on the phone and said "hey hon, where are you?" and she responded with, "none of your business. I need my privacy." that's totally ok with you?

We don't converse that way. We don't say, "where are you?"
We might text, "hey if it's convenience on the way home, can you pick up a gallon of milk?"

You're defelcting. If your spouse refused to tell you where they were if you asked, you'd be ok with that? The manner in which you ask is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

I think this is something you both have autonomy over. It sounds like you voluntarily shared yours and you knew he could see it. That was your choice. He chose not to share his and you knew you couldn't see it. At any time you could also have chosen to make the same decision and not share yours either.

You both made your own choices as capable competent adults. If you aren't happy with your own choice, change it, but you don't get to control his choices. He also can choose to share or not share.

We don't share.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure the technology has gotten better, but several years ago my spouse said her phone showed I was at a certain spot when I 100 percent was not. It wasn't a whore house or anything like that, it was a perfectly innocent spot, but I just plain wasn't where the phone said I was -- and when I denied it she got all suspicious. Who needs that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is something you both have autonomy over. It sounds like you voluntarily shared yours and you knew he could see it. That was your choice. He chose not to share his and you knew you couldn't see it. At any time you could also have chosen to make the same decision and not share yours either.

You both made your own choices as capable competent adults. If you aren't happy with your own choice, change it, but you don't get to control his choices. He also can choose to share or not share.

We don't share.

The problem is that he had no qualms about wanting to see where she was at all times and asked for it, but when she wanted the same, he refused. So you don't get to claim your own privacy while having no issues violating someone else's. At a minimum, that is controlling and shady.

[Anonymous]

That’s not good. I guess the next question is WHY is he not comfortable with this? Then see if you can alleviate those issues with a compromise. If he refuses to answer why, then you need to tell him that without reason you are forced to assume the worst.

[Anonymous]

The whole fam is on life 360. Kids are teens. Avoids so much useless communication.

The only people I would not want to share location with are people I might be lying to about why I can’t hang out, like a couple a friends who don’t react well to a “sorry I have plans.” I don’t lie to DH or my kids about what I’m up to. See where this is going?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since there are - obviously - different points of view, why OP, would you choose to think the worst?

I imagine because anyone I share my life and my bed with shoudln't feel nervous about me knowing where they are. Crazy I know.

OP here. Yes, that’s how I feel. Plus, while people can have different views on location sharing, I think it’s really hypocritical to use my location sharing yet have some fundamental problem with it and be unwilling to share his.

It isn't hypocritical if you knew your location was being shared and you were fine with it. Just different preferences. If you don't care about it, then no issue. Think of a scenario where you don't want your picture in a bathing suit posted online, but he is fine with pictures of him in a bathing suit being posted online. So you posted some pictures of him that others can see, even though you don't want him doing the same for you. That isn't hypocritical, just different preferences. He can't say, well I let you post pictures of me and so now I get to post pictures of you - and you can't say well now I get to follow you since you follow me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is something you both have autonomy over. It sounds like you voluntarily shared yours and you knew he could see it. That was your choice. He chose not to share his and you knew you couldn't see it. At any time you could also have chosen to make the same decision and not share yours either.

You both made your own choices as capable competent adults. If you aren't happy with your own choice, change it, but you don't get to control his choices. He also can choose to share or not share.

We don't share.

The problem is that he had no qualms about wanting to see where she was at all times and asked for it, but when she wanted the same, he refused. So you don't get to claim your own privacy while having no issues violating someone else's. At a minimum, that is controlling and shady.

He would only be violating her privacy if she didn't know her location was being shared or had asked him to turn it off and he refused. But it doesn't sound like that is the case at all. It sounds like they are two different people who value different things. She was fine with the family tracking her, he wasn't.