I make good money but am now constantly worried about losing it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently broke into a seven figure income (think junior c-suite at a mid-sized tech company). As a former public servant, this is both unexpected and unfamiliar. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized this was even a possibility let alone a likelihood. I feel exceptionally fortunate.

But this situation is new enough that I haven't yet built up an equivalent nest egg, so the income/wealth doesn't feel permanent. The "problem" is that I now find myself perpetually concerned about the ethereal nature of the situation. I like my job and am unlikely to lose it, but stranger things have happened - an issue I'm blamed for, an acquisition by a larger company that make my role duplicative, etc. And while I think I could probably land an equivalent role, I find my thoughts frequently drifting toward what-if scenarios regarding a loss of my income.

For those who have been in high-paying jobs for a while, does this eventually go away? Is this just the new situation jitters, or will this now preoccupy my spare thought cycles? I don't want to be a person who thinks about money all the time, even if it's from a position of privilege.



And just to head off the inevitable... I don't post this with the intention to rub my good fortune in the faces of others. I'm not trolling. I recognize the cry-me-a-river aspect of this, but it's a legitimate situation and, for obvious reasons, I don't really have anybody to talk to in real life about it. So here I am.

Don't change your lifestyle. Love below your means. I am very high income and my lifestyle has remained the same. I still take free flights using credit card points. I don't go to 5 star Michelin restaurants. I don't drink alcohol. I do a lot of free things such as hiking kayaking. I do road trips and stay at cheap hotels. I never worry about how much things cost or how much I have in savings because I am constantly doing things under budget.

Now if you feel as an "executive" you need to live in a mansion and drive an s-600 Benz then yeah you should freak out cause that lifestyle isn't cheap.

There’s some space in between what you’re describing and living in a mansion.

You only live once and can’t take it with you. I throughly enjoy my luxury hotel stays, dining out and not hassling with hotel points and airline miles.

But if you don't have a 12 month EF and have not adequately saved for college and retirement, do that first, then get a "nicer house", if you still feel the need to have one. Or decide to renovate your current one if you like the schools/neighborhood. Because once the kids head to college, you may want to downsize and that is a good time to get a new place with everything you want

[Anonymous]

This is temporary. Remember that. No one gets paid the way Americans do and it’s not sustainable. So plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Continue to live like a middle class person and invest everything. Max out retirement obviously. If you can reach $2M saved on these habits you can coast on this for the rest of your life. If you save more, all the better.

[Anonymous]

I would say just have fun now and don't worry so much about the future!

[Anonymous]

Every person who has problem with money, also has some other problems. Most notably black and white thinking. Hire help!

[Anonymous]

Have you tried gambling? I can count cards. I do it low key stakes and stick to the low tables as most casinos so I don't get caught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not being snarky - what is junior c suite? Also at a tech co (public but also worked at mid sized ones before too) and never heard this term. Google didn’t help either.

Sorry, maybe I made up the term.

Think second tier c-suite. Not the CEO, CFO, GC, etc. More like CIO, CISO, CRO, CMO, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say just have fun now and don't worry so much about the future!

And then look around at age 50 and start to panic that you haven't built wealth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently broke into a seven figure income (think junior c-suite at a mid-sized tech company). As a former public servant, this is both unexpected and unfamiliar. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized this was even a possibility let alone a likelihood. I feel exceptionally fortunate.

But this situation is new enough that I haven't yet built up an equivalent nest egg, so the income/wealth doesn't feel permanent. The "problem" is that I now find myself perpetually concerned about the ethereal nature of the situation. I like my job and am unlikely to lose it, but stranger things have happened - an issue I'm blamed for, an acquisition by a larger company that make my role duplicative, etc. And while I think I could probably land an equivalent role, I find my thoughts frequently drifting toward what-if scenarios regarding a loss of my income.

For those who have been in high-paying jobs for a while, does this eventually go away? Is this just the new situation jitters, or will this now preoccupy my spare thought cycles? I don't want to be a person who thinks about money all the time, even if it's from a position of privilege.



And just to head off the inevitable... I don't post this with the intention to rub my good fortune in the faces of others. I'm not trolling. I recognize the cry-me-a-river aspect of this, but it's a legitimate situation and, for obvious reasons, I don't really have anybody to talk to in real life about it. So here I am.

You should remember that your wealth and job doesn't define you. Can't take it with you when you die!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say just have fun now and don't worry so much about the future!

And then look around at age 50 and start to panic that you haven't built wealth

I don't think OP will make it to 50. I predict a nuclear war will ease those worries. So enjoy it now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say just have fun now and don't worry so much about the future!

And then look around at age 50 and start to panic that you haven't built wealth

Right! There is a happy medium. In our 20s, we were happy to not be poor, like we both were growing up. So most things were an upgrade from our previous lives. We made great $$$, chose to actively pay off $80K in students loans (this was 30+ years ago, so a lot for 2 of us), and save for a home. Bought a home we could afford on one salary (our salaries were similar), and saved the rest for retirement and building a 12 month emergency fund. Sure we took "vacations" but other than our honeymoon, it was "drive somewhere within 4-5 hours and spend 5-6 days", it wasn't fly and stay in luxury places. Drove our first cars for 8-10 years, and that allowed us to pay cash at age 32 for a "brand new luxury vehicle", and we never financed a car after that. Because we keep them for at least 7-8 years as well.

If you save intensively in your 20s/early 30s, the rest of your life will be so much easier. Don't regret that for a minute.
Now we can do what we want, when we want basically

[Anonymous]

Everyone is giving you practical answers OP, but this is likely actually something much deeper.

Have you experienced financial precariousness in the past where things went upside down financially for you or your parents when you were a child? You may have some trauma there.

Have you ever been punished in some way for your success? For example a boss being threatened by you or a social cost to your professional success? You may worry that’s a pattern that will repeat.

Do you have some imposter syndrome around the job? You may feel deep down you aren’t worthy of the salary.

These are just examples, but usually fear of it all going away is about something much deeper than just the dollar amount of your emergency fund or the stability of your industry. If you can identify the trigger it may give you some peace to see it as what it actually is.

[Anonymous]

I think the concern is warranted. There is significant economic instability in the US right now with Trump. Everywhere is a dumpster fire with this crew. There are real concerns of a market crash, treasury bonds declining, and dollar losing value. Inflation and tariffs are making things like housing , cars, house maintenance repairs and replacement and food skyrocket. The cost of college is astronomical while financial aid is now drying up. The job market is bad. Republicans are after healthcare so medical bankruptcy becomes a fear for many.

Private equity is sucking the wallets dry of the elderly and pet owners. Legal financial scams are wiping out the elderly’s life savings with retirement communities going bankrupt. Boomers are tapping GenX to fund their aging. Climate change events are destroying more areas. AI is either another dot com bust or transformative into some hellscape.

It’s almost like the US is divided now into grifters and marks. You are either the scammer or being scammed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say just have fun now and don't worry so much about the future!

And then look around at age 50 and start to panic that you haven't built wealth

Right! There is a happy medium. In our 20s, we were happy to not be poor, like we both were growing up. So most things were an upgrade from our previous lives. We made great $$$, chose to actively pay off $80K in students loans (this was 30+ years ago, so a lot for 2 of us), and save for a home. Bought a home we could afford on one salary (our salaries were similar), and saved the rest for retirement and building a 12 month emergency fund. Sure we took "vacations" but other than our honeymoon, it was "drive somewhere within 4-5 hours and spend 5-6 days", it wasn't fly and stay in luxury places. Drove our first cars for 8-10 years, and that allowed us to pay cash at age 32 for a "brand new luxury vehicle", and we never financed a car after that. Because we keep them for at least 7-8 years as well.

If you save intensively in your 20s/early 30s, the rest of your life will be so much easier. Don't regret that for a minute.
Now we can do what we want, when we want basically

This. The money I saved in my twenties and early thirties is worth SOOOOO much more than the money I can save in my 40s. Compound Interest! In my 20s and 30s, I was happiest on fun, adventurous trips, staying in hostels or inexpensive hotels that attracted other travelers like me. And I didn't need a big house or an SUV yet. Now in my 40s, I want a nice Airbnb to stay in when I travel so my kids have their beds and we can do laundry, a second home, or whatever. I saved so much earlier that whatever I save now is just gravy and doesn't really move the needle like my investments. Most years, my investment earnings alone are on par with my salary. It's a good place to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is giving you practical answers OP, but this is likely actually something much deeper.

Have you experienced financial precariousness in the past where things went upside down financially for you or your parents when you were a child? You may have some trauma there.

Have you ever been punished in some way for your success? For example a boss being threatened by you or a social cost to your professional success? You may worry that’s a pattern that will repeat.

Do you have some imposter syndrome around the job? You may feel deep down you aren’t worthy of the salary.

These are just examples, but usually fear of it all going away is about something much deeper than just the dollar amount of your emergency fund or the stability of your industry. If you can identify the trigger it may give you some peace to see it as what it actually is.

These are interesting questions.

I grew up middle class without any financial crisis, and while I was probably lower economic strata than most of my friends, I didn't suffer any real financial trauma. I did overspend in my early adulthood, but changed my habits and now have a strong aversion to debt. I have a healthy dose of imposter syndrome, but just enough to keep me on my toes - I'm confident in my abilities overall. I think I'm just pretty aware of how precarious this all can be and that fate can snatch this all away without warning, be it through an economic downturn, an M&A, a car accident or a bad health diagnosis.

You know the old song that sings "freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"? This feels like the opposite. I've always been pretty fortunate relatively speaking, but this is an order of magnitude more and it feels like I need to protect it. I think this is mostly loss aversion rearing its ugly head, to be honest, though I appreciate the opportunity for introspection.