Social fit vs academics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social fit first.

Academics will follow.

+1

[Anonymous]

Maret may fit the bill for all three. Because of the small size, they love three sport athletes. The academics can be more or less challenging depending on the course selection and quirky would be fine.

[Anonymous]

My kid is in a school where she is struggling socially but thriving academically. No friend group, but the teachers love her. She will find her people in college. We have no regrets as we believe the situation would have been the same anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in a school where she is struggling socially but thriving academically. No friend group, but the teachers love her. She will find her people in college. We have no regrets as we believe the situation would have been the same anywhere.

That's what I'm afraid of happening for my quirky kid. She doesn't really have friends now and I don't want that for her.

[Anonymous]

T

Anonymous wrote: Maret may fit the bill for all three. Because of the small size, they love three sport athletes. The academics can be more or less challenging depending on the course selection and quirky would be fine.

Oh and they had 40 families leave this year including 20 from 8th grade so there will be room for sure! Talking about a school with issues!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in a school where she is struggling socially but thriving academically. No friend group, but the teachers love her. She will find her people in college. We have no regrets as we believe the situation would have been the same anywhere.

Does the “we” include your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Looking over this thread, there is a majority concerned about the emotional well-being of their kids and the consequent (for most) barriers to learning that can come up there. A few aren't, and I feel sorry for those kids who now feel like no one is going to listen to them when they are hurting.

That's where teenage tragedies and lifelong emotional damage can come from. The research on it is extensive.

Kudos to everyone who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Choose different schools for your different kids. They each need something different -- academic and social/cultural fit is important.

I only have two kids, but they've attended different schools their whole lives because they have different needs.

This is how it’s done here. It’s crazy but that’s what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in a school where she is struggling socially but thriving academically. No friend group, but the teachers love her. She will find her people in college. We have no regrets as we believe the situation would have been the same anywhere.

That's what I'm afraid of happening for my quirky kid. She doesn't really have friends now and I don't want that for her.

You should look into Madeira. Very socially accepting kids across the board. My daughter has had three really great years and is sad that she only gets one more.

[Anonymous]

Not everything you learn in high school is academics.

An important part of the experience is learning social skills and how to fit in. Some environments are going to be easier for some kids because the student bodies are more like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social fit is very important. We've been touring high schools and I think the academics at every school we have been to will be 100% fine. Sure there are some difference but overall I'm not concerned about the academic variations because every school we have visited will prepare my kid for college. There are larger variations in things like transportation options, sports teams availability, extra-circulars and the general vibe of the school. Those will probably weigh heavily in our decision. I would not force my kids to go to the same school if it was clear it was not a good fit for one of them.

There’s a bunch of worthless comments, but this hit the nail on the head.

Every private in the dmv will prepare your kid for college academically. But if it is too much pressure it can definitely backfire. And every kid is different. I personally want my kids to enjoy high school and be involved in activities and have friends who live (relatively) close. We chose a less prestigious high school with a good community and vibe, and it’s been wonderful. Never looked back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Academics as parents your job is to give your kid the best education possible.

Get some parenting classes your kids deserve better than your stupidity.

No one I know is worried about "social fit" when picking a school. That is absurd. Except for new money wanna bees.

I could not disagree more. You can get great academics pretty much anywhere or supplement a bit. You cannot undo the bullying and crush to self-esteem that can come from a bad social fit. It can ruin a kid. If a kid is psychologically damaged from social trauma, it really doesn't matter how good the academics might have been.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one I know is worried about "social fit" when picking a school. That is absurd.

Yeah, if you don't have a kid who's any of the following: (1) URM, (2) LGBT, (3) neurodivergent, (4) physically disabled, (5) lives far from campus.

Let me add-
Anxious
Artsy
Selectively mute
Shy

I have one anxious and one selectively mute child. Both have IQs 135+ and would do fine with academics everywhere. We intentionally chose schools that were not the most academically rigorous (lower pressure, broader student body profile) with smaller environments that would help them socially. The more anxious kid will (most likely) graduate valedictorian this year. The selectively mute kid is popular and outgoing at school. I couldn't have imagined a better learning experience (academically and socially) than what we have. Social fit is more important than academic fit to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Academics as parents your job is to give your kid the best education possible.

Get some parenting classes your kids deserve better than your stupidity.

No one I know is worried about "social fit" when picking a school. That is absurd. Except for new money wanna bees.

Oh my goodness, Shira Huntzberger is posing in DCUM!

Gilmore Girls fans Unite!

[Anonymous]

Has to be a balance of both.