People who ask for input and do their own thing anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps your input isn't very valuable. Give better advice.

This is not always true. My parents are awful with money and have nothing saved for retirement. They will probably depend on SS and my mom's pension when or if they ever stop working. 3 times now they've asked me for car advice which I gave.

3/3 times they've ended up financing a used out-of-warranty BMW at a high APR (looking rich is more important than being rich), and then eventually dumped it down the line because the timing chain is making a terrible noise or the exhaust has clouds of white smoke and they have had to roll negative equity into their next purchase due to these impending $$$ repairs.

In these circumstances you are well within your right to say “I am sorry, I am able to provide you advice on this issue.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that. People want to hear different perspectives and views. Doesn’t mean they will do as you said.

+1

Asking for input/feedback/perspective is not at all the same thing as agreeing to blindly do whatever the other person recommends.

100% agree. Input is an opinion/ just bc they don’t go with your opinion doesn’t meant they didn’t appreciate or think about your input.

[Anonymous]

Not taking YOUR advice doesn’t mean they’re doing the wrong thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do they waste our time? You didn't want the help, advice, edits, etc. You just wanted to do you own thing.

This is why I do not give advice for free. I have an hourly rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do they waste our time? You didn't want the help, advice, edits, etc. You just wanted to do you own thing.

Just cuz they ask for advice doesn’t mean they will TAKE your advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They want to consider alternative perspectives, even if they don't end up going with them. In general, it's healthy.

This. I don;t get it, OP. Do you think if a person asks for advice, they are bound to do the thing you advised them to do? Obviously they are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want to consider alternative perspectives, even if they don't end up going with them. In general, it's healthy.

This. I don;t get it, OP. Do you think if a person asks for advice, they are bound to do the thing you advised them to do? Obviously they are not.

Np. Obviously op is not saying that but there are people who are advice hogs. I have a friend who calls or texts me for every last thing - should I do this? Should I email or call? How should I ask this? Or that?- and it’s especially annoying when 1. She does something totally different and 2. Very often she never even updates me on what happened.

I’ve realized she’s nice but a taker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They want to consider alternative perspectives, even if they don't end up going with them. In general, it's healthy.

This. If I ask for someone's input on something, that doesn't mean I am ceding complete control over it to them, and will do whatever they say. There are myriad reasons that I might not incorporate someone's suggestions.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that. People want to hear different perspectives and views. Doesn’t mean they will do as you said.

+1

Asking for input/feedback/perspective is not at all the same thing as agreeing to blindly do whatever the other person recommends.

This.

[Anonymous]

People who are asking for advice aren’t ceding their judgment to yours. They’re asking to talk something out with someone, get another perspective, hear some different viewpoints. Usually if I’m asking for advice, I’m asking several people, and I’m listening to their reasoning and perspective just as much as their final answer. And I appreciate their assistance and input even if I end up not doing what they advise.

I assume others are doing the same. Heck, I don’t even keep track of who is following my suggestions or not.

The one exception to this way is thinking is someone who repeatedly makes the same mistakes, gets upset at how things always turn out, comes to you for advice, agrees they should do what you’re suggesting… and then continues to do the opposite, repeat ad nauseam for years.

But in those cases what you’ve got is someone with Issues and what they probably need from you at this point is for you to stop giving advice and start saying “we’ve had this conversation over and over and you’re still miserable. It’s time for you to talk to a professional. I can’t help you anymore.”