People who ask for input and do their own thing anyway

[Anonymous]

Why do they waste our time? You didn't want the help, advice, edits, etc. You just wanted to do you own thing.

[Anonymous]

I give people one or max two chances with this.

[Anonymous]

Its annoying AF. I dont waste my energy doing it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps your input isn't very valuable. Give better advice.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your reasons are valid but not their biggest priorities.

Maybe they'll use your advice in a future decision.

Why are you so insecure/disturbed/emotionally invested in your opinion that you need their decision to validate your advice?

[Anonymous]

Teens do this with their parents. It's part of their process of figuring it out themselves.

[Anonymous]

They want to do something, but they're too insecure to actually do it.

OR they want to appear like they want input, but they've already decided on their course of action.

Annoying and a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps your input isn't very valuable. Give better advice.

This is not always true. My parents are awful with money and have nothing saved for retirement. They will probably depend on SS and my mom's pension when or if they ever stop working. 3 times now they've asked me for car advice which I gave.

3/3 times they've ended up financing a used out-of-warranty BMW at a high APR (looking rich is more important than being rich), and then eventually dumped it down the line because the timing chain is making a terrible noise or the exhaust has clouds of white smoke and they have had to roll negative equity into their next purchase due to these impending $$$ repairs.

[Anonymous]

They want to consider alternative perspectives, even if they don't end up going with them. In general, it's healthy.

[Anonymous]

Usually if I ask people for advice, I ask more than one person. Basically I crowdsource advice and then aggregate the best answers. So if they’re not taking your advice, maybe someone else recommended a different course of action that they liked better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps your input isn't very valuable. Give better advice.

This is not always true. My parents are awful with money and have nothing saved for retirement. They will probably depend on SS and my mom's pension when or if they ever stop working. 3 times now they've asked me for car advice which I gave.

3/3 times they've ended up financing a used out-of-warranty BMW at a high APR (looking rich is more important than being rich), and then eventually dumped it down the line because the timing chain is making a terrible noise or the exhaust has clouds of white smoke and they have had to roll negative equity into their next purchase due to these impending $$$ repairs.

Details help. Did they ask for your input or did you just provide it? Given their track record, they are intent on doing their own thing.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see anything wrong with that. People want to hear different perspectives and views. Doesn’t mean they will do as you said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that. People want to hear different perspectives and views. Doesn’t mean they will do as you said.

+1

Asking for input/feedback/perspective is not at all the same thing as agreeing to blindly do whatever the other person recommends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that. People want to hear different perspectives and views. Doesn’t mean they will do as you said.

+1

Asking for input/feedback/perspective is not at all the same thing as agreeing to blindly do whatever the other person recommends.

+2

[Anonymous]

They wanted your input but disagreed with your advice. You need to learn not to take this personally.

Sometimes I don't know how opposed I am to one option until I hear someone advocate for it and outline all the reasons I should choose it, and I realize those reasons aren't persuasive or don't account for something I am prioritizing.

Why do you care? Why does it matter if people take your advice?