Teen son smoking weed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

Cool dad alert!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP we are in a very similar sounding situation with our son…rising junior. He also does not like drinking and likes the calming effect of weed. I am in theory ok with it here and there socially but he has also used it at home which is where I worry.

I have tested him before (I’ve used prime screen which has a multi level test which i find helpful.) I go back and forth as to wether the testing is a good idea. I feel like it does keep my son from using weed freely but it of course is invasive. I think back to my high school years and what if my parents were testing me for alcohol every week and how that would have made me feel. But on the other hand I need my kid to not get addicted to this stuff. It’s hard. My son is a good student, athlete and has a good social life too. If I didn’t know he was smoking sometimes from the smell and him telling me I would have no idea.

No real advice but I’m following this thread and you are not alone.

this is the real parenting problem. It's ok to be invasive when you are the parent and they are (still) the child! My kid knows I can read his phone anytime, I can search his room, I can do whatever I want. Yeah, I give him plenty of privacy but he has no god-given right to it. He tells me where he is and I can track it on my phone if I want to. If he gives me reason to micro-manage, I'll do it. And smoking weed would lead to a ton of micro-management. As it should.

They're teens but they are still children, and it's our job to make sure they are making good decisions and staying on the straight and narrow. When my kid is out late, I stay up to see what condition he's in when he comes home. If I caught him with weed or alcohol at home, you can bet I'd randomly search his room. We need to stop worrying about their privacy so much.

[Anonymous]

I went through this with my just-graduated 18yo. There was a period of 6-9 months last year when he was out of control with the weed vapes including smoking at home even in the face of:

1) talking to him all the time about why it was bad for him
2) giving him literature about it
3) taking the car away
4) keeping the door open to his room and his closet door
5) grounding
6) taking him to the doctor to get checked out and talked to
7) looking into rehab centers and telling him this

Finally at some point the teenage-rebellion brain chilled out and he realized he was being an idiot plus he realized he was developing a cough. I think that woke him up the most. He dropped the weed-smoking friends and started gravitating to his other friend group. This all happened the 2nd half of senior year. He also randomly took up golf. This is a kid who graduated at the top if his class of 500 and is going to a top school.

To be honest I would not change anything we did. We threw everything at this issue but he didn't decide to stop until he wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grades are good, honors and AP classes- 3.5 gpa. He's a 3 sport athlete with a solid group of friends and a nice girlfriend. I don't like weed at all but yes, I am mainly concerned about smoking alone in his room. He had told us before that he didn't like the way drinking made him act so instead would smoke when friends drank at parties. I kind of understood this but both DH and I have a sibling whose lives have been dogged by excessive weed use and consequently underemployed, isolated, lost relationships. We don't want this for our son.

This is a common phrase used now among weed addicts. Just another attempt to justify their addiction.

It hasn't affected him too much yet since he's obviously just still a neophyte weed addict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

OP does not sound like a reefer madness fool.

She is right to be concerned with the solo smoking.

Why? The smoke part is dangerous but get him a vape pen. Maybe he has anxiety from uptight parents.

Are you kidding? The pens are just as unhealthy if not worse.

Not universally true. They often are. There is often crap in them.

Marijuana flower when vaporized properly does not harm the lungs. That we know of.

But it's really hard to get the temperature just right.

And weed is not harmless and it's definitely not harmless for a teen who is smoking solo.

[Anonymous]

Better weed than alcohol, probably.

[Anonymous]

He needs to be tested for everything. Smoking weed alone in his room is very concerning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

OP does not sound like a reefer madness fool.

She is right to be concerned with the solo smoking.

Not true. People solo smoke for anxiety, stress, inability to sleep or just plain like it to relax. Some people who live alone come home from work and have a glass or two of alcohol to relax. Same thing.

This is talking about adult use, not teen use. Teens should not be using at all. Their brains aren't yet developed.

Then the mother should take her to the doctor to see if he’s suffering from anything that he is self medicating for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are his grades okay? Does he have friends?

If yes, why do you care?

If not, focus on helping him with those problems.

It’s not the weed.

OP does not sound like a reefer madness fool.

She is right to be concerned with the solo smoking.

Not true. People solo smoke for anxiety, stress, inability to sleep or just plain like it to relax. Some people who live alone come home from work and have a glass or two of alcohol to relax. Same thing.

This is talking about adult use, not teen use. Teens should not be using at all. Their brains aren't yet developed.

Then the mother should take her to the doctor to see if he’s suffering from anything that he is self medicating for.

Or the father.

[Anonymous]

TBF, we did vote to legalize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grades are good, honors and AP classes- 3.5 gpa. He's a 3 sport athlete with a solid group of friends and a nice girlfriend. I don't like weed at all but yes, I am mainly concerned about smoking alone in his room. He had told us before that he didn't like the way drinking made him act so instead would smoke when friends drank at parties. I kind of understood this but both DH and I have a sibling whose lives have been dogged by excessive weed use and consequently underemployed, isolated, lost relationships. We don't want this for our son.

What are the laws in your state? If he's a minor, he's breaking them. Will he get kicked off of sports teams if caught?

[Anonymous]

They have them on Amazon