Parents’ access to records

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My parents were overbearing when I was in high school and I refused to share my grades with my parents in college. My mother still brings it up to this day how she thought that was wrong that she didn’t have access to it.

FWIW, I would never force my 18 year old to sign FERPA or HIPAA waivers. I want my kid to be able to do what she needs to do and hopefully have a trusting enough relationship that she’ll talk with me. I had to go to planned parenthood after an unfortunate sexual encounter when I was in college to get tested for STIs. There’s no way my mom needed to know about that especially because everything was fine.

I can’t with the helicoptering on this forum




Is it helicoptering when your kid has a serious mental illness and may not be able to make their own decisions?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.
Sounds like a parenting problem. How about you raise your children properly?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.


Absolutely not. Kids go to college in part to learn to be adults. They do not need you intervening on their behalf.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My parents were overbearing when I was in high school and I refused to share my grades with my parents in college. My mother still brings it up to this day how she thought that was wrong that she didn’t have access to it.

FWIW, I would never force my 18 year old to sign FERPA or HIPAA waivers. I want my kid to be able to do what she needs to do and hopefully have a trusting enough relationship that she’ll talk with me. I had to go to planned parenthood after an unfortunate sexual encounter when I was in college to get tested for STIs. There’s no way my mom needed to know about that especially because everything was fine.

I can’t with the helicoptering on this forum




Is it helicoptering when your kid has a serious mental illness and may not be able to make their own decisions?


Where did serious mental illness get mentioned? Supporting someone with a disability is not the same as what is being discussed here.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.
Sounds like a parenting problem. How about you raise your children properly?


The parenting problem is not taking action on your kid’s behalf. Sorry you were not smart enough to get a conservatorship.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.


No they wouldn't. I represent families seeking guardianship for their disabled young adults, and the bar is much higher than teens making immature, age appropriate decisions.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.


No they wouldn't. I represent families seeking guardianship for their disabled young adults, and the bar is much higher than teens making immature, age appropriate decisions.


Then you should know this is very feasible.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.
Sounds like a parenting problem. How about you raise your children properly?


The parenting problem is not taking action on your kid’s behalf. Sorry you were not smart enough to get a conservatorship.
Sorry you were such an incompentent parent that your child needed conservatorship. Mine is living independently, getting good grades, and is currently working a wonderful internship in their field of choice without any helicoptering needed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have access to the bills and that’s it. Never crossed my mind to ask for more. Kids are independent, work hard, and do well. They share grades with me, but I don’t ask. At some point they need to fly on their own.


They are not independent or flying on their own if you are paying the bills.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.
Sounds like a parenting problem. How about you raise your children properly?


The parenting problem is not taking action on your kid’s behalf. Sorry you were not smart enough to get a conservatorship.
Sorry you were such an incompentent parent that your child needed conservatorship. Mine is living independently, getting good grades, and is currently working a wonderful internship in their field of choice without any helicoptering needed.


With a conservatorship you could actually verify this.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.
Sounds like a parenting problem. How about you raise your children properly?


The parenting problem is not taking action on your kid’s behalf. Sorry you were not smart enough to get a conservatorship.
Sorry you were such an incompentent parent that your child needed conservatorship. Mine is living independently, getting good grades, and is currently working a wonderful internship in their field of choice without any helicoptering needed.


With a conservatorship you could actually verify this.
Or I could just speak to my child, like a normal parent does.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.

No judge would grant you a conservatorship just because you want to be able to talk to your adult child’s professors. You have to be able to prove a level of physical or mental incapacity that requires a conservator, and show that less restrictive options would not work. A conservatorship restricts the person’s legal rights. Courts don’t do that willy-nilly.


Lots of college kids are not mentally adults yet and could benefit from this. The courts would agree.
Sounds like a parenting problem. How about you raise your children properly?


The parenting problem is not taking action on your kid’s behalf. Sorry you were not smart enough to get a conservatorship.
Sorry you were such an incompentent parent that your child needed conservatorship. Mine is living independently, getting good grades, and is currently working a wonderful internship in their field of choice without any helicoptering needed.


With a conservatorship you could actually verify this.
Or I could just speak to my child, like a normal parent does.


Kids lie. Better safe than sorry.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans?


If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path?


Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole.


That's the standard for a judge granting conservatorship.
They know. See the "legal loophole" phrase.
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