Parents’ access to records
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Anonymous
| Did Mama Bear legal forms (if heaven forbid one ends up in the hospital, I want to know what's going on), but as far as school, I'm just a bank account paying the bills with no access to anything. Kids do share "Dean's list is out," and send me a link, but that is well after the fact |
Anonymous
| I have proxy access so I can view grades (final grades only), financial aid info, etc. I just set up a payment plan this week after checking out the FA award. |
Anonymous
| Just paid the bills. I’d know generally how classes were going (like this prof, don’t like that one, we have a group assignment for this class, etc). DC would share rando scores for midterms or finals but I didn’t know the semester GPA unless DC shared it with me (which happened to be every semester). But it would have been fine if they simply graduated vs graduating with honors. It’s their path/future. I did lay out the consequences of a low GPA (certain doors close for grad school and competitive employment offers are out), DC made informed choices from there, chose to have fun, do well in classes, without grinding it out every weekend in the library. |
Anonymous
| Has anyone considered a conservatorship to override FERPA and be able to communicate with professors and deans? |
Anonymous
I'm a professor. Even having the FERPA waiver doesn't put me into a partnership with parents. We don't do conferences, check-ins, or progress reports. I could imagine a circumstance where that could be different for a student with serious medical needs, for example, but not under ordinary circumstances. |
Anonymous
Get a life. Your child is an adult, and professors will (hopefully) not put up with this behavior anyway. |
Anonymous
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My parents were overbearing when I was in high school and I refused to share my grades with my parents in college. My mother still brings it up to this day how she thought that was wrong that she didn’t have access to it.
FWIW, I would never force my 18 year old to sign FERPA or HIPAA waivers. I want my kid to be able to do what she needs to do and hopefully have a trusting enough relationship that she’ll talk with me. I had to go to planned parenthood after an unfortunate sexual encounter when I was in college to get tested for STIs. There’s no way my mom needed to know about that especially because everything was fine. I can’t with the helicoptering on this forum |
Anonymous
A conservatorship wouldn’t be ordinary. |
Anonymous
If your child is so lacking in competence such that you could convince a judge that conservatorship is necessary, is college the right path? |
Anonymous
never did with either and will not with third. They all picked top places(ivy, wasp) so we knew they were top students and in schools known for great outcomes, why would we worry. Friend with kids at UVA and Georgetown did the same, no need to worry. our collective kids are not partiers nor do they have academic accommodations, ymmv. |
Anonymous
Who said the child lacks competence? Parents are just looking for ways to be involved and this would be a legal loophole. |
Anonymous
NO no just NO |
Anonymous
It would force colleges to engage with parents, no? |
Anonymous
That's the standard for a judge granting conservatorship. You don't get to take away your adult child's rights on a whim. |
Anonymous
My DS with ADHD knew he could reach out to us for advice if he was struggling with something, and I made sure he knew it wasnt the end of the world if he had some bumps the first year. But I didnt hover in high school and wasnt going to hover in college. He did have a few setbacks the first year (mostly due to absent-mindedness), learned how to adjust, and graduated cum laude. I never knew or asked what his exact grades were. I am glad that he didnt choose a school where he was relying on a certain GPA to maintain a merit scholarship because that might have been a lot off pressure. |