Ex-DH didn’t make time on Father’s Day

Anonymous
Something is not adding up here, seems to be a piece of the story missing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Something is not adding up here, seems to be a piece of the story missing.


We got a piece of mom's side and the adulting kids side. Of course there's a piece missing...the dad's side.

But on her defense, she can only attest to her side of the story....

Anonymous
Your kids are adults.. they already know what type of man their father is.

You don’t need to remind them.


Anonymous
Sounds as if dad is depressed and doesn't want contact with anyone. Perhaps no visit for now is better than a lousy visit with the kids?
This is irrelevant, perhaps, but Father's Day for my husband and my father was no big deal. They didn't want gifts or a fuss. They resented the forced togetherness, I think, except for their favorite meal. I don't understand it--I make plans for Mother's Day weeks in advance! But some men are different..I think the next move has to be your ex-husband's.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did he care about Father's Day before? My husband couldn't care less. We did nothing special yesterday, at his request. My kids know this about him and know that this has no bearing at all on their relationship.


Yes, he cared before the divorce. We made a big thing of it- gifts, cards, fun family activities, dinners out, and sometimes trips. So it adds to the confusion now that he doesn’t want to do anything, even when they want to continue to celebrate him.


Maybe he has a new family or a bonus family and is celebrating it with them.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Yes, agreed. I’m sorry you’re in this position. If it makes you feel any better, there are adult kids in my family with a severely mentally ill mother and so I have largely stepped in. But I never say a bad word against their mother; I simply support them to the best of my ability.


My stepdaughter has a shockingly horrible and disinterested biological mother. So much so that I was able to become her guardian when my husband died. It's been my absolute honor to parent this young woman to adulthood and beyond. She and my younger kids have a wonderful bond. There have been many instances I've held my tongue till it's practically bled, like the promise to attend her high school graduation and then didn't show up. I think acknowledging the misdeed is fine and saying you're sorry they're hurting is acceptable. But going on a full on rant even if justified is not the way to go.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, agreed. I’m sorry you’re in this position. If it makes you feel any better, there are adult kids in my family with a severely mentally ill mother and so I have largely stepped in. But I never say a bad word against their mother; I simply support them to the best of my ability.


My stepdaughter has a shockingly horrible and disinterested biological mother. So much so that I was able to become her guardian when my husband died. It's been my absolute honor to parent this young woman to adulthood and beyond. She and my younger kids have a wonderful bond. There have been many instances I've held my tongue till it's practically bled, like the promise to attend her high school graduation and then didn't show up. I think acknowledging the misdeed is fine and saying you're sorry they're hurting is acceptable. But going on a full on rant even if justified is not the way to go.


Or, maybe you and your husband ran her off and alienated this child from her.
Anonymous
Good riddance, I'd say? Why are you insisting on a normal relationship when clearly he's not capable of that? Stop gaslighting your kids into believing they can achieve that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, agreed. I’m sorry you’re in this position. If it makes you feel any better, there are adult kids in my family with a severely mentally ill mother and so I have largely stepped in. But I never say a bad word against their mother; I simply support them to the best of my ability.


My stepdaughter has a shockingly horrible and disinterested biological mother. So much so that I was able to become her guardian when my husband died. It's been my absolute honor to parent this young woman to adulthood and beyond. She and my younger kids have a wonderful bond. There have been many instances I've held my tongue till it's practically bled, like the promise to attend her high school graduation and then didn't show up. I think acknowledging the misdeed is fine and saying you're sorry they're hurting is acceptable. But going on a full on rant even if justified is not the way to go.


Or, maybe you and your husband ran her off and alienated this child from her.


Thanks for your input but that's not at all what happened. She is unbalanced with untreated mental illness. It was be great if she became healthy but that seems very unlikely.
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