Something is not adding up here, seems to be a piece of the story missing. |
We got a piece of mom's side and the adulting kids side. Of course there's a piece missing...the dad's side. But on her defense, she can only attest to her side of the story.... |
Your kids are adults.. they already know what type of man their father is.
You don’t need to remind them. |
Sounds as if dad is depressed and doesn't want contact with anyone. Perhaps no visit for now is better than a lousy visit with the kids?
This is irrelevant, perhaps, but Father's Day for my husband and my father was no big deal. They didn't want gifts or a fuss. They resented the forced togetherness, I think, except for their favorite meal. I don't understand it--I make plans for Mother's Day weeks in advance! But some men are different..I think the next move has to be your ex-husband's. |
Maybe he has a new family or a bonus family and is celebrating it with them. |
My stepdaughter has a shockingly horrible and disinterested biological mother. So much so that I was able to become her guardian when my husband died. It's been my absolute honor to parent this young woman to adulthood and beyond. She and my younger kids have a wonderful bond. There have been many instances I've held my tongue till it's practically bled, like the promise to attend her high school graduation and then didn't show up. I think acknowledging the misdeed is fine and saying you're sorry they're hurting is acceptable. But going on a full on rant even if justified is not the way to go. |
Or, maybe you and your husband ran her off and alienated this child from her. |
Good riddance, I'd say? Why are you insisting on a normal relationship when clearly he's not capable of that? Stop gaslighting your kids into believing they can achieve that. |
Thanks for your input but that's not at all what happened. She is unbalanced with untreated mental illness. It was be great if she became healthy but that seems very unlikely. |