Ex-DH didn’t make time on Father’s Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often do they see him outside of things like Father's Day? If it's often enough and the relationship is otherwise ok, who cares. It's a made up holiday anyway.

Unfortunately, they do not see him as often as they would like. We divorced when the youngest was just past 18, so never had shared custody. The kids have had to contact him to try to get together and he’s not that responsive, but they thought Father’s Day would have been a guaranteed date he would make himself available. He lives less than 5 minutes away.

Very tough to watch them learning what I learned the hard way. I think I covered up for him for many years and they didn’t realize how absent he was from their lives. So I blame myself for that too

[Anonymous]

You are a self centered brat. He’s moved on. Good for him.

[Anonymous]

Ask your DH what he wants for Father's Day. If he wants to be left alone then that is his choice and you have to respect that.

[Anonymous]

When’s the right time to hurt them more and make it worse, you ask?

[Anonymous]

Isn't fathers day about him?! If he doesn't want to celebrate it, that's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kids the holiday is for him, not them. If he doesn’t want to celebrate it, this should be fine. They can do something else with him.

I agree with this, but he won’t even commit to an upcoming visit with them. That stings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are never allowed to say that. Continue to support your kids and listen to them. That’s all you ever need to do.

She can call him a jerk, she just can’t do it around his kids. Call him a jerk to your friends. You have to be able to vent sometimes.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like this divorce is recent. Who initiated the divorce? Is it possible that he thought he had a happy family and would see his kids when there were adults as part of an intact family unit and now is dealing with the fact that his family was blown apart. The fact that you waited until the last kid was 18 so you never had to learn to co-parent makes everything harder. Now, no one is sure of their roles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like this divorce is recent. Who initiated the divorce? Is it possible that he thought he had a happy family and would see his kids when there were adults as part of an intact family unit and now is dealing with the fact that his family was blown apart. The fact that you waited until the last kid was 18 so you never had to learn to co-parent makes everything harder. Now, no one is sure of their roles.

Her ex is not sure if he’s still a father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like this divorce is recent. Who initiated the divorce? Is it possible that he thought he had a happy family and would see his kids when there were adults as part of an intact family unit and now is dealing with the fact that his family was blown apart. The fact that you waited until the last kid was 18 so you never had to learn to co-parent makes everything harder. Now, no one is sure of their roles.

The divorce was over a year ago and it was mutual and civil. Taking days to respond to texts and only seeing kids maybe once a month is the issue. I’m sure he has other issues with me, and I’m not thrilled with him, but I think it’s awful that he’s distancing himself from kids who want to spend time with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often do they see him outside of things like Father's Day? If it's often enough and the relationship is otherwise ok, who cares. It's a made up holiday anyway.

Unfortunately, they do not see him as often as they would like. We divorced when the youngest was just past 18, so never had shared custody. The kids have had to contact him to try to get together and he’s not that responsive, but they thought Father’s Day would have been a guaranteed date he would make himself available. He lives less than 5 minutes away.

Very tough to watch them learning what I learned the hard way. I think I covered up for him for many years and they didn’t realize how absent he was from their lives. So I blame myself for that too

This makes no sense. Father’s Day is for appreciating all your father does. Not for forcing to reconnecting with an estranged parent in a high pressure situation like in a Lifetime movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like this divorce is recent. Who initiated the divorce? Is it possible that he thought he had a happy family and would see his kids when there were adults as part of an intact family unit and now is dealing with the fact that his family was blown apart. The fact that you waited until the last kid was 18 so you never had to learn to co-parent makes everything harder. Now, no one is sure of their roles.

The divorce was over a year ago and it was mutual and civil. Taking days to respond to texts and only seeing kids maybe once a month is the issue. I’m sure he has other issues with me, and I’m not thrilled with him, but I think it’s awful that he’s distancing himself from kids who want to spend time with him.

All you can do at this point is to tell your kids to keep reaching out....eventually they will have to learn the hard way that dad doesn't want to be around as much anymore.

You have adult kids now so I would not sugar coat it either. It is what it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a self centered brat. He’s moved on. Good for him.

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like this divorce is recent. Who initiated the divorce? Is it possible that he thought he had a happy family and would see his kids when there were adults as part of an intact family unit and now is dealing with the fact that his family was blown apart. The fact that you waited until the last kid was 18 so you never had to learn to co-parent makes everything harder. Now, no one is sure of their roles.

What a huge and ridiculous cop out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask your DH what he wants for Father's Day. If he wants to be left alone then that is his choice and you have to respect that.

Are you posting on the wrong thread?