what % of 35 year old are still living at home?

[Anonymous]

We had a double story house before DH was 35 and we were single income, supporting his family back home and had kids. We were very frugal though and saved money by me doing childcare, cooking, house management and chores etc.

[Anonymous]

I lived at home with my parents until I turned 35 years old. I graduated from the University of Virginia in 1990 with a very good-paying job. I lived at home with my parents for thirteen years before moving out on my own the day I got married. I was able to save over 90% of my salary during those thirteen years, and through proper investment, I had over 2M in my bank account. I bought a house in McLean for cash, and invested the rest in the stock market. My current home is about 6,000 sqft with a guest house, and I told my son that he and his wife are welcome to live in the guest house until they save enough to purchase a home in McLean with at least 50% down. It is perfectly normal to live at home until you get married, and are ready to move out.

[Anonymous]

My older kids moved out, but I would've been fine with them living with me till I die.

[Anonymous]

I'm 35 and don't know anyone who has lived at home for 10+ years. We all bought houses in our mid-late 20s for ~$350k @ 3% mortgage. No parent help and my core friend group is all teachers, nurses, accountants, etc nothing crazy.

[Anonymous]

Our son is “only” 31 and lives with us. F me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what % of 35 year old are still living at home?
I see the numbers of people in their 20s is very high, but don't see much numbers of people over 35+ are they moving out ?

White Christian males yes high %

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35 and don't know anyone who has lived at home for 10+ years. We all bought houses in our mid-late 20s for ~$350k @ 3% mortgage. No parent help and my core friend group is all teachers, nurses, accountants, etc nothing crazy.

Do you live in Oklahoma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL solved this by giving his son an apartment to live in. Life is so much easier when there's money to solve pesky little issues...

This, but you'll never rid of losers like this.

[Anonymous]

According to DIA (new AI browser):

"Less than 5% of Americans over age 35 live with their parents.

While about 18% of U.S. adults ages 25–34 live with a parent, the percentage drops sharply for those over 35. Census and Pew Research Center data show that the rate for adults over 35 is very low—generally estimated at under 5%. Most studies and reports focus on the 18–34 age group, as living with parents becomes much less common after age 35."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two relatives in this category.
One is taking care of the 10 acre farm because his parents are getting too old. He also has a WFH job. He left for several years and then came back.
Another has lived in the parents'home forever even now, married, with children. Cultural difference that my relative married into. My relative LIKES it because she gets to live in a beautiful house with free babysitting and never has to cook or clean. If they tried to move out the parents would lose it.

A lot of married with kids ACs (above 35) are choosing to live with their parents in my own immigrant community. The buying power for housing and various services is immense because they are pooling resources. Here are the benefits -

- Financial security. You will not lose the house if one person loses their job. Also, people save a lot of money when they are sharing costs in multi-gen families, so the savings are robust enough to withstand financial ups and downs,
- Usually live in a beautiful, very big house in a good school district - which adult children could not have afforded in their own salary, by pooling in resources. There are common areas and also own private areas/spaces for each member of the family.
- Free babysitting? Yes...to an extent. Most people do spend on getting some sort of nannies/help who come home and help the grandparents to take care of the babies. Also, as they kids grow older - grandparents can take them for EC activities or have tutors come home to teach. Of course, illness, snow days, weekends, lockdowns, remote learning etc...everything gets handled much more easily. Kids are always supervised and kept busy.
- Free eldercare? Yes...to an extent. The common household machinery serves everyone - laundry, cooking, cleaning, home/lawn/car maintenance - is done jointly and/or outsourced - so the elderly may be very frail but are never living in squalor and neglect. Usually, some kind of paid companion or nursing attendent is also hired because of better buying power. I know vendors who come to cut hair, nail and shave beards of elderly people, give therapuetic massages or various physical therapies etc. It delays sending the elderly patient to AL significantly
- Loneliness and mental illness. Usually, there is enough support and companionship to curb bad habits, depression, loneliness and mental illness. People of all generations are usually engaged and have better resilience.

In the event of the death of an elderly parent, the adult children don't have to scramble to take care of the remaining parent or get rid of their hoarded up house and sell it. The act of living together in the first place already sees a natural Swedish Death Cleanse to happen. Nothing gets impacted in a logistically big way. This is a gift for the adult children who are called to take care of elderly parents, young children and their own home and career - at the same time and feel overwhelmed.

- In addition - these households are very lively because there is significant socialization for each generation with their own peer groups, hobbies etc.
- Grandkids are usually very bonded with the grandparents and play an active role in being engaged with them.
- People in the household have a healthier diet and lifestyle because healthy home cooked meals and clean enviorns are always easily available to them.

In practice, that usually means that the grandma has sacrificed herself and is busting her behind servicing all three generations, maybe even four if one of her parents is still around. And she will be doing this until she drops dead.

What I have seen in my own immigrant community is private chefs and caterers. No grandma is sacrificing herself. Grandma is an earniing member with her pension in her retirement. Pooling resources means that there is money to outsource.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two relatives in this category.
One is taking care of the 10 acre farm because his parents are getting too old. He also has a WFH job. He left for several years and then came back.
Another has lived in the parents'home forever even now, married, with children. Cultural difference that my relative married into. My relative LIKES it because she gets to live in a beautiful house with free babysitting and never has to cook or clean. If they tried to move out the parents would lose it.

A lot of married with kids ACs (above 35) are choosing to live with their parents in my own immigrant community. The buying power for housing and various services is immense because they are pooling resources. Here are the benefits -

- Financial security. You will not lose the house if one person loses their job. Also, people save a lot of money when they are sharing costs in multi-gen families, so the savings are robust enough to withstand financial ups and downs,
- Usually live in a beautiful, very big house in a good school district - which adult children could not have afforded in their own salary, by pooling in resources. There are common areas and also own private areas/spaces for each member of the family.
- Free babysitting? Yes...to an extent. Most people do spend on getting some sort of nannies/help who come home and help the grandparents to take care of the babies. Also, as they kids grow older - grandparents can take them for EC activities or have tutors come home to teach. Of course, illness, snow days, weekends, lockdowns, remote learning etc...everything gets handled much more easily. Kids are always supervised and kept busy.
- Free eldercare? Yes...to an extent. The common household machinery serves everyone - laundry, cooking, cleaning, home/lawn/car maintenance - is done jointly and/or outsourced - so the elderly may be very frail but are never living in squalor and neglect. Usually, some kind of paid companion or nursing attendent is also hired because of better buying power. I know vendors who come to cut hair, nail and shave beards of elderly people, give therapuetic massages or various physical therapies etc. It delays sending the elderly patient to AL significantly
- Loneliness and mental illness. Usually, there is enough support and companionship to curb bad habits, depression, loneliness and mental illness. People of all generations are usually engaged and have better resilience.

In the event of the death of an elderly parent, the adult children don't have to scramble to take care of the remaining parent or get rid of their hoarded up house and sell it. The act of living together in the first place already sees a natural Swedish Death Cleanse to happen. Nothing gets impacted in a logistically big way. This is a gift for the adult children who are called to take care of elderly parents, young children and their own home and career - at the same time and feel overwhelmed.

- In addition - these households are very lively because there is significant socialization for each generation with their own peer groups, hobbies etc.
- Grandkids are usually very bonded with the grandparents and play an active role in being engaged with them.
- People in the household have a healthier diet and lifestyle because healthy home cooked meals and clean enviorns are always easily available to them.

In practice, that usually means that the grandma has sacrificed herself and is busting her behind servicing all three generations, maybe even four if one of her parents is still around. And she will be doing this until she drops dead.

What I have seen in my own immigrant community is private chefs and caterers. No grandma is sacrificing herself. Grandma is an earniing member with her pension in her retirement. Pooling resources means that there is money to outsource.

Cross-generational pooling of money isn’t necessarily as beneficial for parents/grandparents as it is for adult children/adult grandchildren when everyone’s living under the same roof. Often, the situation isn’t as beneficial for older generations, who end up paying more, whether or not they’re outsourcing domestic work:


“Adults living with a parent are far more likely than parents living with an adult child to say being in a multigenerational household helps them financially. Some 53% of adults who live with a parent say this helps their personal financial situation at least a little, with 30% saying it helps a lot.

…

Among parents living with an adult child, just 29% say their living arrangement helps their personal finances, including 16% who say it helps a lot. About three-in-ten parents who live with an adult child (28%) say their living arrangement hurts their personal finances at least a little, compared with 17% of adults who live with a parent that say the same.

…

A majority of parents living with an adult child say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, including 51% who say they pay all of it. About a quarter (26%) say they pay some but less than half or don’t pay anything. In contrast, only about a third of adult children living with a parent say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, with 25% saying they pay all of it. Some 43% say they pay some but less than half (13%) or don’t pay anything (30%).”

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-experiences-of-adults-in-multigenerational-households/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two relatives in this category.
One is taking care of the 10 acre farm because his parents are getting too old. He also has a WFH job. He left for several years and then came back.
Another has lived in the parents'home forever even now, married, with children. Cultural difference that my relative married into. My relative LIKES it because she gets to live in a beautiful house with free babysitting and never has to cook or clean. If they tried to move out the parents would lose it.

A lot of married with kids ACs (above 35) are choosing to live with their parents in my own immigrant community. The buying power for housing and various services is immense because they are pooling resources. Here are the benefits -

- Financial security. You will not lose the house if one person loses their job. Also, people save a lot of money when they are sharing costs in multi-gen families, so the savings are robust enough to withstand financial ups and downs,
- Usually live in a beautiful, very big house in a good school district - which adult children could not have afforded in their own salary, by pooling in resources. There are common areas and also own private areas/spaces for each member of the family.
- Free babysitting? Yes...to an extent. Most people do spend on getting some sort of nannies/help who come home and help the grandparents to take care of the babies. Also, as they kids grow older - grandparents can take them for EC activities or have tutors come home to teach. Of course, illness, snow days, weekends, lockdowns, remote learning etc...everything gets handled much more easily. Kids are always supervised and kept busy.
- Free eldercare? Yes...to an extent. The common household machinery serves everyone - laundry, cooking, cleaning, home/lawn/car maintenance - is done jointly and/or outsourced - so the elderly may be very frail but are never living in squalor and neglect. Usually, some kind of paid companion or nursing attendent is also hired because of better buying power. I know vendors who come to cut hair, nail and shave beards of elderly people, give therapuetic massages or various physical therapies etc. It delays sending the elderly patient to AL significantly
- Loneliness and mental illness. Usually, there is enough support and companionship to curb bad habits, depression, loneliness and mental illness. People of all generations are usually engaged and have better resilience.

In the event of the death of an elderly parent, the adult children don't have to scramble to take care of the remaining parent or get rid of their hoarded up house and sell it. The act of living together in the first place already sees a natural Swedish Death Cleanse to happen. Nothing gets impacted in a logistically big way. This is a gift for the adult children who are called to take care of elderly parents, young children and their own home and career - at the same time and feel overwhelmed.

- In addition - these households are very lively because there is significant socialization for each generation with their own peer groups, hobbies etc.
- Grandkids are usually very bonded with the grandparents and play an active role in being engaged with them.
- People in the household have a healthier diet and lifestyle because healthy home cooked meals and clean enviorns are always easily available to them.

In practice, that usually means that the grandma has sacrificed herself and is busting her behind servicing all three generations, maybe even four if one of her parents is still around. And she will be doing this until she drops dead.

What I have seen in my own immigrant community is private chefs and caterers. No grandma is sacrificing herself. Grandma is an earniing member with her pension in her retirement. Pooling resources means that there is money to outsource.

Cross-generational pooling of money isn’t necessarily as beneficial for parents/grandparents as it is for adult children/adult grandchildren when everyone’s living under the same roof. Often, the situation isn’t as beneficial for older generations, who end up paying more, whether or not they’re outsourcing domestic work:


“Adults living with a parent are far more likely than parents living with an adult child to say being in a multigenerational household helps them financially. Some 53% of adults who live with a parent say this helps their personal financial situation at least a little, with 30% saying it helps a lot.

…

Among parents living with an adult child, just 29% say their living arrangement helps their personal finances, including 16% who say it helps a lot. About three-in-ten parents who live with an adult child (28%) say their living arrangement hurts their personal finances at least a little, compared with 17% of adults who live with a parent that say the same.

…

A majority of parents living with an adult child say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, including 51% who say they pay all of it. About a quarter (26%) say they pay some but less than half or don’t pay anything. In contrast, only about a third of adult children living with a parent say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, with 25% saying they pay all of it. Some 43% say they pay some but less than half (13%) or don’t pay anything (30%).”

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-experiences-of-adults-in-multigenerational-households/

In my immigrant community - such households are rich. Very different from Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two relatives in this category.
One is taking care of the 10 acre farm because his parents are getting too old. He also has a WFH job. He left for several years and then came back.
Another has lived in the parents'home forever even now, married, with children. Cultural difference that my relative married into. My relative LIKES it because she gets to live in a beautiful house with free babysitting and never has to cook or clean. If they tried to move out the parents would lose it.

A lot of married with kids ACs (above 35) are choosing to live with their parents in my own immigrant community. The buying power for housing and various services is immense because they are pooling resources. Here are the benefits -

- Financial security. You will not lose the house if one person loses their job. Also, people save a lot of money when they are sharing costs in multi-gen families, so the savings are robust enough to withstand financial ups and downs,
- Usually live in a beautiful, very big house in a good school district - which adult children could not have afforded in their own salary, by pooling in resources. There are common areas and also own private areas/spaces for each member of the family.
- Free babysitting? Yes...to an extent. Most people do spend on getting some sort of nannies/help who come home and help the grandparents to take care of the babies. Also, as they kids grow older - grandparents can take them for EC activities or have tutors come home to teach. Of course, illness, snow days, weekends, lockdowns, remote learning etc...everything gets handled much more easily. Kids are always supervised and kept busy.
- Free eldercare? Yes...to an extent. The common household machinery serves everyone - laundry, cooking, cleaning, home/lawn/car maintenance - is done jointly and/or outsourced - so the elderly may be very frail but are never living in squalor and neglect. Usually, some kind of paid companion or nursing attendent is also hired because of better buying power. I know vendors who come to cut hair, nail and shave beards of elderly people, give therapuetic massages or various physical therapies etc. It delays sending the elderly patient to AL significantly
- Loneliness and mental illness. Usually, there is enough support and companionship to curb bad habits, depression, loneliness and mental illness. People of all generations are usually engaged and have better resilience.

In the event of the death of an elderly parent, the adult children don't have to scramble to take care of the remaining parent or get rid of their hoarded up house and sell it. The act of living together in the first place already sees a natural Swedish Death Cleanse to happen. Nothing gets impacted in a logistically big way. This is a gift for the adult children who are called to take care of elderly parents, young children and their own home and career - at the same time and feel overwhelmed.

- In addition - these households are very lively because there is significant socialization for each generation with their own peer groups, hobbies etc.
- Grandkids are usually very bonded with the grandparents and play an active role in being engaged with them.
- People in the household have a healthier diet and lifestyle because healthy home cooked meals and clean enviorns are always easily available to them.

In practice, that usually means that the grandma has sacrificed herself and is busting her behind servicing all three generations, maybe even four if one of her parents is still around. And she will be doing this until she drops dead.

What I have seen in my own immigrant community is private chefs and caterers. No grandma is sacrificing herself. Grandma is an earniing member with her pension in her retirement. Pooling resources means that there is money to outsource.

Cross-generational pooling of money isn’t necessarily as beneficial for parents/grandparents as it is for adult children/adult grandchildren when everyone’s living under the same roof. Often, the situation isn’t as beneficial for older generations, who end up paying more, whether or not they’re outsourcing domestic work:


“Adults living with a parent are far more likely than parents living with an adult child to say being in a multigenerational household helps them financially. Some 53% of adults who live with a parent say this helps their personal financial situation at least a little, with 30% saying it helps a lot.

…

Among parents living with an adult child, just 29% say their living arrangement helps their personal finances, including 16% who say it helps a lot. About three-in-ten parents who live with an adult child (28%) say their living arrangement hurts their personal finances at least a little, compared with 17% of adults who live with a parent that say the same.

…

A majority of parents living with an adult child say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, including 51% who say they pay all of it. About a quarter (26%) say they pay some but less than half or don’t pay anything. In contrast, only about a third of adult children living with a parent say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, with 25% saying they pay all of it. Some 43% say they pay some but less than half (13%) or don’t pay anything (30%).”

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-experiences-of-adults-in-multigenerational-households/

Of course the older generation is well off and will pay more than the younger generation. The win-win is that it creates generational wealth, pooled resources, social mobility, better living standards, better health, security, eldercare, childcare, deepens family ties. Best of all it increases the bandwidth of each family member to become more resilient. I am a gen-X parent with gen-Z kids. Kids are doing well, but, we are always here to not only give them a helping hand but also we are in a position to bankroll them. And we can do this with no strings attached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two relatives in this category.
One is taking care of the 10 acre farm because his parents are getting too old. He also has a WFH job. He left for several years and then came back.
Another has lived in the parents'home forever even now, married, with children. Cultural difference that my relative married into. My relative LIKES it because she gets to live in a beautiful house with free babysitting and never has to cook or clean. If they tried to move out the parents would lose it.

A lot of married with kids ACs (above 35) are choosing to live with their parents in my own immigrant community. The buying power for housing and various services is immense because they are pooling resources. Here are the benefits -

- Financial security. You will not lose the house if one person loses their job. Also, people save a lot of money when they are sharing costs in multi-gen families, so the savings are robust enough to withstand financial ups and downs,
- Usually live in a beautiful, very big house in a good school district - which adult children could not have afforded in their own salary, by pooling in resources. There are common areas and also own private areas/spaces for each member of the family.
- Free babysitting? Yes...to an extent. Most people do spend on getting some sort of nannies/help who come home and help the grandparents to take care of the babies. Also, as they kids grow older - grandparents can take them for EC activities or have tutors come home to teach. Of course, illness, snow days, weekends, lockdowns, remote learning etc...everything gets handled much more easily. Kids are always supervised and kept busy.
- Free eldercare? Yes...to an extent. The common household machinery serves everyone - laundry, cooking, cleaning, home/lawn/car maintenance - is done jointly and/or outsourced - so the elderly may be very frail but are never living in squalor and neglect. Usually, some kind of paid companion or nursing attendent is also hired because of better buying power. I know vendors who come to cut hair, nail and shave beards of elderly people, give therapuetic massages or various physical therapies etc. It delays sending the elderly patient to AL significantly
- Loneliness and mental illness. Usually, there is enough support and companionship to curb bad habits, depression, loneliness and mental illness. People of all generations are usually engaged and have better resilience.

In the event of the death of an elderly parent, the adult children don't have to scramble to take care of the remaining parent or get rid of their hoarded up house and sell it. The act of living together in the first place already sees a natural Swedish Death Cleanse to happen. Nothing gets impacted in a logistically big way. This is a gift for the adult children who are called to take care of elderly parents, young children and their own home and career - at the same time and feel overwhelmed.

- In addition - these households are very lively because there is significant socialization for each generation with their own peer groups, hobbies etc.
- Grandkids are usually very bonded with the grandparents and play an active role in being engaged with them.
- People in the household have a healthier diet and lifestyle because healthy home cooked meals and clean enviorns are always easily available to them.

In practice, that usually means that the grandma has sacrificed herself and is busting her behind servicing all three generations, maybe even four if one of her parents is still around. And she will be doing this until she drops dead.

What I have seen in my own immigrant community is private chefs and caterers. No grandma is sacrificing herself. Grandma is an earniing member with her pension in her retirement. Pooling resources means that there is money to outsource.

Cross-generational pooling of money isn’t necessarily as beneficial for parents/grandparents as it is for adult children/adult grandchildren when everyone’s living under the same roof. Often, the situation isn’t as beneficial for older generations, who end up paying more, whether or not they’re outsourcing domestic work:


“Adults living with a parent are far more likely than parents living with an adult child to say being in a multigenerational household helps them financially. Some 53% of adults who live with a parent say this helps their personal financial situation at least a little, with 30% saying it helps a lot.

…

Among parents living with an adult child, just 29% say their living arrangement helps their personal finances, including 16% who say it helps a lot. About three-in-ten parents who live with an adult child (28%) say their living arrangement hurts their personal finances at least a little, compared with 17% of adults who live with a parent that say the same.

…

A majority of parents living with an adult child say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, including 51% who say they pay all of it. About a quarter (26%) say they pay some but less than half or don’t pay anything. In contrast, only about a third of adult children living with a parent say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, with 25% saying they pay all of it. Some 43% say they pay some but less than half (13%) or don’t pay anything (30%).”

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-experiences-of-adults-in-multigenerational-households/

In my immigrant community - such households are rich. Very different from Americans.

The survey included upper-income Americans. Your experience matters, but data often gives a broader perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two relatives in this category.
One is taking care of the 10 acre farm because his parents are getting too old. He also has a WFH job. He left for several years and then came back.
Another has lived in the parents'home forever even now, married, with children. Cultural difference that my relative married into. My relative LIKES it because she gets to live in a beautiful house with free babysitting and never has to cook or clean. If they tried to move out the parents would lose it.

A lot of married with kids ACs (above 35) are choosing to live with their parents in my own immigrant community. The buying power for housing and various services is immense because they are pooling resources. Here are the benefits -

- Financial security. You will not lose the house if one person loses their job. Also, people save a lot of money when they are sharing costs in multi-gen families, so the savings are robust enough to withstand financial ups and downs,
- Usually live in a beautiful, very big house in a good school district - which adult children could not have afforded in their own salary, by pooling in resources. There are common areas and also own private areas/spaces for each member of the family.
- Free babysitting? Yes...to an extent. Most people do spend on getting some sort of nannies/help who come home and help the grandparents to take care of the babies. Also, as they kids grow older - grandparents can take them for EC activities or have tutors come home to teach. Of course, illness, snow days, weekends, lockdowns, remote learning etc...everything gets handled much more easily. Kids are always supervised and kept busy.
- Free eldercare? Yes...to an extent. The common household machinery serves everyone - laundry, cooking, cleaning, home/lawn/car maintenance - is done jointly and/or outsourced - so the elderly may be very frail but are never living in squalor and neglect. Usually, some kind of paid companion or nursing attendent is also hired because of better buying power. I know vendors who come to cut hair, nail and shave beards of elderly people, give therapuetic massages or various physical therapies etc. It delays sending the elderly patient to AL significantly
- Loneliness and mental illness. Usually, there is enough support and companionship to curb bad habits, depression, loneliness and mental illness. People of all generations are usually engaged and have better resilience.

In the event of the death of an elderly parent, the adult children don't have to scramble to take care of the remaining parent or get rid of their hoarded up house and sell it. The act of living together in the first place already sees a natural Swedish Death Cleanse to happen. Nothing gets impacted in a logistically big way. This is a gift for the adult children who are called to take care of elderly parents, young children and their own home and career - at the same time and feel overwhelmed.

- In addition - these households are very lively because there is significant socialization for each generation with their own peer groups, hobbies etc.
- Grandkids are usually very bonded with the grandparents and play an active role in being engaged with them.
- People in the household have a healthier diet and lifestyle because healthy home cooked meals and clean enviorns are always easily available to them.

In practice, that usually means that the grandma has sacrificed herself and is busting her behind servicing all three generations, maybe even four if one of her parents is still around. And she will be doing this until she drops dead.

What I have seen in my own immigrant community is private chefs and caterers. No grandma is sacrificing herself. Grandma is an earniing member with her pension in her retirement. Pooling resources means that there is money to outsource.

Cross-generational pooling of money isn’t necessarily as beneficial for parents/grandparents as it is for adult children/adult grandchildren when everyone’s living under the same roof. Often, the situation isn’t as beneficial for older generations, who end up paying more, whether or not they’re outsourcing domestic work:


“Adults living with a parent are far more likely than parents living with an adult child to say being in a multigenerational household helps them financially. Some 53% of adults who live with a parent say this helps their personal financial situation at least a little, with 30% saying it helps a lot.

…

Among parents living with an adult child, just 29% say their living arrangement helps their personal finances, including 16% who say it helps a lot. About three-in-ten parents who live with an adult child (28%) say their living arrangement hurts their personal finances at least a little, compared with 17% of adults who live with a parent that say the same.

…

A majority of parents living with an adult child say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, including 51% who say they pay all of it. About a quarter (26%) say they pay some but less than half or don’t pay anything. In contrast, only about a third of adult children living with a parent say they pay more than half of the rent or mortgage, with 25% saying they pay all of it. Some 43% say they pay some but less than half (13%) or don’t pay anything (30%).”

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-experiences-of-adults-in-multigenerational-households/

Of course the older generation is well off and will pay more than the younger generation. The win-win is that it creates generational wealth, pooled resources, social mobility, better living standards, better health, security, eldercare, childcare, deepens family ties. Best of all it increases the bandwidth of each family member to become more resilient. I am a gen-X parent with gen-Z kids. Kids are doing well, but, we are always here to not only give them a helping hand but also we are in a position to bankroll them. And we can do this with no strings attached.

I agree with much of this except the presumption it’s building generational wealth. My anecdotal experience is that regarding income/wealth, it often increases the next generation’s standard of living, but that generation does not necessarily or automatically emulate the financial savvy of the previous generation(s). It’s also not uncommon for older generations to sacrifice their retirement finances for younger ones. Presuming every older generation adult is well-off is unfounded.