Everything is so expensive!

[Anonymous]

Age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We saved money by doing much of the tutoring and therapy ourselves - and when I say us, I mean mostly me

My child was born premature with a global developmental delay, which were then refined into a speech delay, severe ADHD, mild ASD, dysgraphia and gross and fine motor tone/coordination issues.

Until he was 3, his PT, OT and speech was free and administered by Montgomery County ChildFind. We paid for private speech from 3 until K, and then his IEP at school gave him hours with the school SLP, who was great.

I observed all his toddler/preschooler sessions and replicated them intensively every day so he could improve faster. The ChildFind therapists gave us a lot of items to work with. Once he was out of PT and OT, I enrolled him in regular gym, ballet and swimming, and worked with him on handwriting and fine motor skills at home. I also tutored him academically every day in elementary.

For secondary school, we paid for a writing tutor. My husband took over the math and science tutoring, until he got to AP exams and ACT test prep, which we paid for.

He needed an executive function coach day in, day out, so hiring one was out of the question. We were his executive coaches.

Point is: pace yourself, OP. Our kid had serious needs, and we knew we had do a lot of the work ourselves, for as long as we could, to make it work financially.

Second sitting in on sessions so you can replicate at home and ask questions at the end.

[Anonymous]

OP, I concur that you need to call around and get on the wait list of any providers who take tire insurance.

We also pay out of pocket for some a service that isn’t covered by insurance at all because it’s in the research phase. We did this drastically reducing money on ourselves for a period of time. I reduced all of my personal discretionary expenses to about $20-$30 a month. I cut my own hair. I bought used books and toys for Christmas presents. We almost never ate out. Everyone wore used clothes. It was really, really hard, because we live in an UMC neighborhood where no one else lives like that, but our kid needed the therapy.

As an educator, I know how much more flexible the brain is before 10, so we’re leaning in hard for one more year. After that, we’ll relax enjoy life more, knowing we did as much as we could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I concur that you need to call around and get on the wait list of any providers who take tire insurance.

We also pay out of pocket for some a service that isn’t covered by insurance at all because it’s in the research phase. We did this drastically reducing money on ourselves for a period of time. I reduced all of my personal discretionary expenses to about $20-$30 a month. I cut my own hair. I bought used books and toys for Christmas presents. We almost never ate out. Everyone wore used clothes. It was really, really hard, because we live in an UMC neighborhood where no one else lives like that, but our kid needed the therapy.

As an educator, I know how much more flexible the brain is before 10, so we’re leaning in hard for one more year. After that, we’ll relax enjoy life more, knowing we did as much as we could.

First, just want to commend your sacrifices. It’s so hard,

I agree—we had one therapist who really emphasized the neuropathwats that can be “rewritten” with good intervention early. Our DC got OT and intensive therapy ages 7-9. Still has adhd and anxiety but was really really disregulated and now has coping skills and doing so much better (aged 14).

[Anonymous]

**neuropathways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I concur that you need to call around and get on the wait list of any providers who take tire insurance.

We also pay out of pocket for some a service that isn’t covered by insurance at all because it’s in the research phase. We did this drastically reducing money on ourselves for a period of time. I reduced all of my personal discretionary expenses to about $20-$30 a month. I cut my own hair. I bought used books and toys for Christmas presents. We almost never ate out. Everyone wore used clothes. It was really, really hard, because we live in an UMC neighborhood where no one else lives like that, but our kid needed the therapy.

As an educator, I know how much more flexible the brain is before 10, so we’re leaning in hard for one more year. After that, we’ll relax enjoy life more, knowing we did as much as we could.

First, just want to commend your sacrifices. It’s so hard,

I agree—we had one therapist who really emphasized the neuropathwats that can be “rewritten” with good intervention early. Our DC got OT and intensive therapy ages 7-9. Still has adhd and anxiety but was really really disregulated and now has coping skills and doing so much better (aged 14).

Thanks. I only share them with others because it took me so long to think of them. If it had occurred tome to make changes earlier, we wouldn’t have had to make such drastic cuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I concur that you need to call around and get on the wait list of any providers who take tire insurance.

We also pay out of pocket for some a service that isn’t covered by insurance at all because it’s in the research phase. We did this drastically reducing money on ourselves for a period of time. I reduced all of my personal discretionary expenses to about $20-$30 a month. I cut my own hair. I bought used books and toys for Christmas presents. We almost never ate out. Everyone wore used clothes. It was really, really hard, because we live in an UMC neighborhood where no one else lives like that, but our kid needed the therapy.

As an educator, I know how much more flexible the brain is before 10, so we’re leaning in hard for one more year. After that, we’ll relax enjoy life more, knowing we did as much as we could.

First, just want to commend your sacrifices. It’s so hard,

I agree—we had one therapist who really emphasized the neuropathwats that can be “rewritten” with good intervention early. Our DC got OT and intensive therapy ages 7-9. Still has adhd and anxiety but was really really disregulated and now has coping skills and doing so much better (aged 14).

Thanks. I only share them with others because it took me so long to think of them. If it had occurred tome to make changes earlier, we wouldn’t have had to make such drastic cuts.

I commend you too, PP. You are a great parent and I hope that things start to get easier in every conceivable sense very soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be selective and focus on interventions that you think is most helpful. In our situation, medication, tutoring and an IEP made the biggest difference. We eliminated everything else. Everything else we did was a money pit. It was financially and logistically unsustainable.

Now that DC is older and more mature (high school), therapy may help so we are on a waiting list for a therapist that takes insurance.

This is good advice. Looking back at all we did over the years, early intervention speech therapy was very effective. Honestly, that was about it for DS.

I wish we could get back the thousands on private evaluations and talk therapy in later years but it is what it is and we couldn’t have known.

The psychiatrist visits were so expensive and they eliminated medications that we found out didn’t work for him so I guess that’s something. He’s a teen now and not in any therapy and doesn’t see any tutors other than school.

Be selective, try something and don’t be afraid to change if it’s not working.

[Anonymous]

OP - if you have money in a 529 that you can spare to spend now, you should see if your kid will qualify for an ABLE account (likely with an ADHD diagnosis). If she does, you can roll money up to the contribution limit (19K this year) from her 529 into an ABLE account. All funds (both contributions and earnings) in her ABLE account can be spent right now on qualifying disability expenses without paying taxes or fees. Qualifying disability expenses are very broad. Everything you’ve described will be eligible. But it would free up a source of funds to support these needs right now. Unfortunately, unless the law gets changed, this is the last year they’re letting people roll money from a 529 to an ABLE account so you should act on it now. The ABLE National Resource Center is a great resources.

[Anonymous]

This is also a good time to start really clearly tracking your expenses. Categorize them, look at what the full cost is and what your co-pay is if in-network. If out of network, ask about a discount for cash pay. When it is open season for your health insurance, take the time to run the numbers for your needs and what you expect.

For us, doing more than one regular therapy is when it made sense to switch to a high-deductible plan that covered out-of-network costs at a share after the deductible was met. The first few months of the year were expensive because we had to pay for everything until we hit the deductible. The tradeoff is that our plan premiums are way cheaper and we get a big chunk as a pass-through to the HSA account. I spent hours with spreadsheets and comparing plan details, but so far it's working out great and I wish we would have done it sooner. We are on track to have our overall health care spending down more than $5K this year, including what we will spend on premiums and fully funding our HSA. It will also reduce our taxable income because the money we put to the HSA is pre-tax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and so far we have done everything out of pocket through providers who don’t submit to insurance. Her pediatrician was useless when we shared the issues DD is having so we got a recommendation from her school for a provider to do a neuropsych and paid out of pocket.

It’s hard but find OTs and therapists covered by your insurance. It took some time and we had to drive a little farther, but we ended up paying a fraction of what we were paying out-of-pocket. It is absolutely worth it.

Same. It took awhile and we kept the expensive one in the meantime. But eventually moved to therapist that was covered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Monday morning quarterbacking in key. Make sure what you are doing is really working and moving your daughter forward. You will likely find that things that are recommended are not helping but it’s easy to get caught up on second guessing yourself when you think about ending.

Make sure you have clear and meaningful goals for each therapy and distinguish between goals and meaningful goals.

+1. wish I could get the time & money back that I wasted on Unstuck and On Target.

and don’t forget that your child is a child, and deserves to also learn all the fun stuff that will enrich her life - sending her to 4 days/week tutoring and therapy and not doing any swimming lessons, music lessons, or dance lessons is no way to live.

Why can't you do both. We did five day a week services for years. Still time for activities - sports and arts and other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I agree with the neuropsych that DD needs all these services - we are not being scammed (and actually I found her testing to be worth every penny). I don’t imagine this will be forever but she needs it now. And yes she enjoys her childhood and actually she does swimming, dance and music.

Thanks for folks with helpful tips on how to deal with the expenses. Agree that if some services are not helping we will not do them - especially as the school year starts we will likely need to drop down on these services and focus on the ones making the biggest difference.

You need to find providers that accept your insurance. Many don't as its a money grab and they don't need to as enough people willing to pay but there are good ones that take insurance. Also, some of the local universities have clinics that are student run - we did that and had a good experience. Also, supplement with cheaper online tutors. Our online tutors are under $20 an hour and wonderful.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have had my dd's OT and therapy covered by insurance. I always use providers that accept our insurance (BCBS Blue Focus). I could not afford to do therapies otherwise.

I don't know if insurance covers tutoring (I don't think so, but consult your plan) but like some PP's said, you might could pay for it out of a 529 or ABLE plan.

[Anonymous]

You have a lot of good advice here. Our therapist takes insurance and does schoolwork he is struggling with like comprehension; DS goes once a week for an hour. We also do all the tutoring ourselves and only hire a math tutor in the summer to get his confidence level up to next grade; if it’s needed. A lot of companies that provide “tutoring” are just after your money. You don’t need to fork out every month for Kumon, a swim lesson is money better spent.