Volitile dad and impact on kids under 10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s terrible for the kids, but you know that.

Be there for her in whatever way doesn’t make him worse, and be the spot she can go with no judgment. When she is ready to escape, you want her to call you. So no badmouthing him now bc it will cause a bigger rift. (It’s hard to feel like he can abuse her without consequences, but she has to be the one deciding when she is ready.)

It is very, very likely that the kids will start taking out their feelings on other kids, including yours. Just be aware of that. I'm not saying not to have empathy for them, because none of this is their fault, but hurt people hurt people.

This is not always true. I grew up in a household with an angry father, and I was afraid of his temper. I became timid what that meant was I wound up in a marriage with someone who was extremely angry and became more and more verbally abusive over the years. Our child also became timid, but either through the luck of genetics or maybe because my child had me, there was a core of strength that I lacked as a child. I eventually got divorced and now my kid is slowly coming out from that shell. Neither I nor my child ever verbally abused our peers.

I'm glad and your child are now in a better place. I have witnessed kids (mine and others) be viciously bullied by children who had parents going through nasty divorces or abusive dads. I will say, my husband is more like you - his dad was verbally abusive and my husband has never raised his voice or said an unkind thing.