Graduation cards / announcements - is this a thing in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky money grab in the days of social media announcing your kid’s college choice to family. Surprisingly, I get them from people in California and Arizona. In DC it is considered gauche.

No, it isn't. Nor is it a request for money. It's traditional and formal. Not everyone uses social media, and some people think announcing on social media is gauche.

Many people don’t use social media but everyone close enough to you, knows your kid is graduating. Family knows the age of your kid. Friends know the age of your kid. There is no reason to send these except as a money grab. You may not like how that comes across, but it is 100% true.

Do you feel the same way about wedding invitations and/or announcements? How about birthdays?

FWIW, even when I’m close to friends and relatives, I don’t actually keep track of who’s graduating when — especially when it comes to the grandkids. I would give gifts anyway — even if I send them late — because I didn’t get an announcement. I do appreciate getting the graduation pictures though, which are often the only formal pictures that I’ll have of the graduates.


I wonder if the people in the “tacky” camp live more of their lives online — and assume that others do as well — vs those of us in the announcements are“traditional “ camp? I really don’t keep up with the exact ages and annual accomplishments of everyone’s kids. And, again, I’m happy to give gifts, so that’s not my issue here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky money grab in the days of social media announcing your kid’s college choice to family. Surprisingly, I get them from people in California and Arizona. In DC it is considered gauche.

No, it isn't. Nor is it a request for money. It's traditional and formal. Not everyone uses social media, and some people think announcing on social media is gauche.

Many people don’t use social media but everyone close enough to you, knows your kid is graduating. Family knows the age of your kid. Friends know the age of your kid. There is no reason to send these except as a money grab. You may not like how that comes across, but it is 100% true.

Do you feel the same way about wedding invitations and/or announcements? How about birthdays?

FWIW, even when I’m close to friends and relatives, I don’t actually keep track of who’s graduating when — especially when it comes to the grandkids. I would give gifts anyway — even if I send them late — because I didn’t get an announcement. I do appreciate getting the graduation pictures though, which are often the only formal pictures that I’ll have of the graduates.


I wonder if the people in the “tacky” camp live more of their lives online — and assume that others do as well — vs those of us in the announcements are“traditional “ camp? I really don’t keep up with the exact ages and annual accomplishments of everyone’s kids. And, again, I’m happy to give gifts, so that’s not my issue here.

What the heck is a wedding announcement? A birthday announcement? Wth?

I am not on social media and still think they are tacky as hell.

You can’t keep track of your grandkids’ bdays? How many grandkids do you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky money grab in the days of social media announcing your kid’s college choice to family. Surprisingly, I get them from people in California and Arizona. In DC it is considered gauche.

No, it isn't. Nor is it a request for money. It's traditional and formal. Not everyone uses social media, and some people think announcing on social media is gauche.

Many people don’t use social media but everyone close enough to you, knows your kid is graduating. Family knows the age of your kid. Friends know the age of your kid. There is no reason to send these except as a money grab. You may not like how that comes across, but it is 100% true.

Do you feel the same way about wedding invitations and/or announcements? How about birthdays?

FWIW, even when I’m close to friends and relatives, I don’t actually keep track of who’s graduating when — especially when it comes to the grandkids. I would give gifts anyway — even if I send them late — because I didn’t get an announcement. I do appreciate getting the graduation pictures though, which are often the only formal pictures that I’ll have of the graduates.


I wonder if the people in the “tacky” camp live more of their lives online — and assume that others do as well — vs those of us in the announcements are“traditional “ camp? I really don’t keep up with the exact ages and annual accomplishments of everyone’s kids. And, again, I’m happy to give gifts, so that’s not my issue here.

I remember receiving catalogs for school rings and swag during my senior year of high school. It made me think of a time in America when high school was a big deal then one went to work in the town factory. Those rings and memorabilia marked a major milestone in life before adult responsibilities set in. It was kind of sad.
I never received this sort of advertising in college nor grad school.
So I think the high school graduation announcements probably date from that period where finishing high school was a big achievement.

Weddings are a different event. Original intent is that one is being summoned as a witness to some oaths made in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky money grab in the days of social media announcing your kid’s college choice to family. Surprisingly, I get them from people in California and Arizona. In DC it is considered gauche.

No, it isn't. Nor is it a request for money. It's traditional and formal. Not everyone uses social media, and some people think announcing on social media is gauche.

Many people don’t use social media but everyone close enough to you, knows your kid is graduating. Family knows the age of your kid. Friends know the age of your kid. There is no reason to send these except as a money grab. You may not like how that comes across, but it is 100% true.

Do you feel the same way about wedding invitations and/or announcements? How about birthdays?

FWIW, even when I’m close to friends and relatives, I don’t actually keep track of who’s graduating when — especially when it comes to the grandkids. I would give gifts anyway — even if I send them late — because I didn’t get an announcement. I do appreciate getting the graduation pictures though, which are often the only formal pictures that I’ll have of the graduates.


I wonder if the people in the “tacky” camp live more of their lives online — and assume that others do as well — vs those of us in the announcements are“traditional “ camp? I really don’t keep up with the exact ages and annual accomplishments of everyone’s kids. And, again, I’m happy to give gifts, so that’s not my issue here.

I remember receiving catalogs for school rings and swag during my senior year of high school. It made me think of a time in America when high school was a big deal then one went to work in the town factory. Those rings and memorabilia marked a major milestone in life before adult responsibilities set in. It was kind of sad.
I never received this sort of advertising in college nor grad school.
So I think the high school graduation announcements probably date from that period where finishing high school was a big achievement.

Weddings are a different event. Original intent is that one is being summoned as a witness to some oaths made in public.

I graduated college in 1991 and received advertising - and purchased - a class ring.

[Anonymous]

People have become horrible in general. My youngest is graduating HS and we are very proud of her. She graduated with Honors and got into Honors college.

We wanted to throw a nice HS graduation party for her fully catered. On my side we invited my two sisters, my brother, my 7 nieces and nephews who are all older with a guest. My youngest is youngest kid in family as the nephews and nieces range from 20-33 I also invited my Godfather and Uncle still alive and my four closest first cousins with their family. I sent out formal profession initiation in last March way ahead of time.

Guess what on my side 100 percent of people said NO. What the Hell. Not only that three did not even respond. Even more annoying only 2 people even gave a reason. And half did not even bother writing anything other than I am not going.

Would it kill them to text. Sorry we cant make it (make up excuse) and say congratulations.

Not looking for gifts. The party was going to cost me money. I was going to have whole house ready, we opened our pool already, my landscaper already did really good spring clean up. Was being fully catered with tables, chairs and tents. My side of family is pretty cheap. More cost effective not to do it.

My favorite rejections

First cousin, sorry I want be in your town that day so wont come.
Nephew. I wont be coming, tell her congratulations on her engagement (WTF)
Uncle I wont be coming Dinner or Desert. Thanks for making that clear.
Some were just I wont be coming.

Only one nephew wrote sorry I can not attend. My Finance and I are attending her friends engagement party that day, wish ### Happy Graduation.

If I was looking for money would not be hosting an expensive party I would just send out announcements and hope someone would send a gift.

Good news we booked a vacation for week with our family to celebrate her graduation.

On wives side she got her Mom and Sister, one aunt and a BIL to come plus a niece with husband and child . Only seven people. We are now going to skip party and just take everyone to a nice restaurant for dinner. then back to our house cake and coffee. I am letting them all stay over as I have space and breakfast in morning.


We invited 60 people. It is a shame. When my kids were younger pre Covid I had parties for kids baptism communions, birthdays and we throw on average 3-5 parties a year and we have 4-50 people each one. I always lost money. Families of five showing up with a $25 gift card to a party with dinner for five, drinks and a cake and coffee was not for gifts.

Point was a special day my child and wanted to share it. My youngest does not know her Uncles and Aunts and barely her Niece and Nephews .After getting the slap in fact I realized that I stopped getting a lot of invited in Covid to these type of parties from relatives. Now it is just weddings.

No one is sending out cards or doing family HS parties like in the past. Going forward we all have permission to ignore them. However, I will still go anyhow or write a card and send nice check or gift as I dont want to punish the kids for their parents being dicks

[Anonymous]

We live in DC and are sending them to a very small group of people. Husband and I aren’t active on social media, so people only know where our kid is going to college if we’ve told them directly, they’ve seen our kid’s social media, or word of mouth. So we are sending cards to about ten families out of town who either wouldn’t know otherwise (ie: the older couple who used to live next door to us before moving to Florida who we keep in touch with through birthday cards and Christmas cards) or who would love to get an announcement (grandparents and older relatives). We did print up an insert specifying no gifts, but most of these people would be sending gifts anyway.

We are not sending them to any local friends or to our entire Christmas card list or anything like that. And pretty much everyone on the list is much older FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in DC and are sending them to a very small group of people. Husband and I aren’t active on social media, so people only know where our kid is going to college if we’ve told them directly, they’ve seen our kid’s social media, or word of mouth. So we are sending cards to about ten families out of town who either wouldn’t know otherwise (ie: the older couple who used to live next door to us before moving to Florida who we keep in touch with through birthday cards and Christmas cards) or who would love to get an announcement (grandparents and older relatives). We did print up an insert specifying no gifts, but most of these people would be sending gifts anyway.

We are not sending them to any local friends or to our entire Christmas card list or anything like that. And pretty much everyone on the list is much older FWIW.

Once again: it is a gift grab. The people who are close to you, know already. If you send someone a bday card or xmas card only, they are not that close to you. It’s fine but don’t kid yourself…it is a gift grab. Otherwise, the next time you send a xmas card, you can write, “Mary loves Tufts. Great fit for her. She’s home now for the winter break!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People have become horrible in general. My youngest is graduating HS and we are very proud of her. She graduated with Honors and got into Honors college.

We wanted to throw a nice HS graduation party for her fully catered. On my side we invited my two sisters, my brother, my 7 nieces and nephews who are all older with a guest. My youngest is youngest kid in family as the nephews and nieces range from 20-33 I also invited my Godfather and Uncle still alive and my four closest first cousins with their family. I sent out formal profession initiation in last March way ahead of time.

Guess what on my side 100 percent of people said NO. What the Hell. Not only that three did not even respond. Even more annoying only 2 people even gave a reason. And half did not even bother writing anything other than I am not going.

Would it kill them to text. Sorry we cant make it (make up excuse) and say congratulations.

Not looking for gifts. The party was going to cost me money. I was going to have whole house ready, we opened our pool already, my landscaper already did really good spring clean up. Was being fully catered with tables, chairs and tents. My side of family is pretty cheap. More cost effective not to do it.

My favorite rejections

First cousin, sorry I want be in your town that day so wont come.
Nephew. I wont be coming, tell her congratulations on her engagement (WTF)
Uncle I wont be coming Dinner or Desert. Thanks for making that clear.
Some were just I wont be coming.

Only one nephew wrote sorry I can not attend. My Finance and I are attending her friends engagement party that day, wish ### Happy Graduation.

If I was looking for money would not be hosting an expensive party I would just send out announcements and hope someone would send a gift.

Good news we booked a vacation for week with our family to celebrate her graduation.

On wives side she got her Mom and Sister, one aunt and a BIL to come plus a niece with husband and child . Only seven people. We are now going to skip party and just take everyone to a nice restaurant for dinner. then back to our house cake and coffee. I am letting them all stay over as I have space and breakfast in morning.


We invited 60 people. It is a shame. When my kids were younger pre Covid I had parties for kids baptism communions, birthdays and we throw on average 3-5 parties a year and we have 4-50 people each one. I always lost money. Families of five showing up with a $25 gift card to a party with dinner for five, drinks and a cake and coffee was not for gifts.

Point was a special day my child and wanted to share it. My youngest does not know her Uncles and Aunts and barely her Niece and Nephews .After getting the slap in fact I realized that I stopped getting a lot of invited in Covid to these type of parties from relatives. Now it is just weddings.

No one is sending out cards or doing family HS parties like in the past. Going forward we all have permission to ignore them. However, I will still go anyhow or write a card and send nice check or gift as I dont want to punish the kids for their parents being dicks

This is such an odd post and doesn’t connect with a thread about grad announcements.

Your bolded comment shows you do keep a tally.

[Anonymous]

HS graduation is not a big deal anymore. So what if the kid graduated high school. Just do a small celebration with close family and friends. Why do you need more pomp and circumstance?

[Anonymous]

I just got one yesterday- the traditional type with the name card insert. I loved it. I have done picture announcements for 2 recent h/s grads and hVe received many. I loom at lime a baby announcement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have become horrible in general. My youngest is graduating HS and we are very proud of her. She graduated with Honors and got into Honors college.

We wanted to throw a nice HS graduation party for her fully catered. On my side we invited my two sisters, my brother, my 7 nieces and nephews who are all older with a guest. My youngest is youngest kid in family as the nephews and nieces range from 20-33 I also invited my Godfather and Uncle still alive and my four closest first cousins with their family. I sent out formal profession initiation in last March way ahead of time.

Guess what on my side 100 percent of people said NO. What the Hell. Not only that three did not even respond. Even more annoying only 2 people even gave a reason. And half did not even bother writing anything other than I am not going.

Would it kill them to text. Sorry we cant make it (make up excuse) and say congratulations.

Not looking for gifts. The party was going to cost me money. I was going to have whole house ready, we opened our pool already, my landscaper already did really good spring clean up. Was being fully catered with tables, chairs and tents. My side of family is pretty cheap. More cost effective not to do it.

My favorite rejections

First cousin, sorry I want be in your town that day so wont come.
Nephew. I wont be coming, tell her congratulations on her engagement (WTF)
Uncle I wont be coming Dinner or Desert. Thanks for making that clear.
Some were just I wont be coming.

Only one nephew wrote sorry I can not attend. My Finance and I are attending her friends engagement party that day, wish ### Happy Graduation.

If I was looking for money would not be hosting an expensive party I would just send out announcements and hope someone would send a gift.

Good news we booked a vacation for week with our family to celebrate her graduation.

On wives side she got her Mom and Sister, one aunt and a BIL to come plus a niece with husband and child . Only seven people. We are now going to skip party and just take everyone to a nice restaurant for dinner. then back to our house cake and coffee. I am letting them all stay over as I have space and breakfast in morning.


We invited 60 people. It is a shame. When my kids were younger pre Covid I had parties for kids baptism communions, birthdays and we throw on average 3-5 parties a year and we have 4-50 people each one. I always lost money. Families of five showing up with a $25 gift card to a party with dinner for five, drinks and a cake and coffee was not for gifts.

Point was a special day my child and wanted to share it. My youngest does not know her Uncles and Aunts and barely her Niece and Nephews .After getting the slap in fact I realized that I stopped getting a lot of invited in Covid to these type of parties from relatives. Now it is just weddings.

No one is sending out cards or doing family HS parties like in the past. Going forward we all have permission to ignore them. However, I will still go anyhow or write a card and send nice check or gift as I dont want to punish the kids for their parents being dicks

This is such an odd post and doesn’t connect with a thread about grad announcements.

Your bolded comment shows you do keep a tally.

Well I did send out announcements in Covid last kids graduation. Some may have viewed it as a cash grab I guess. This time a full party. MY sister with the $25 was annoying, buy a gift, bring food. Dont show up a $25 check to eat dinner for five and when you live in a 1.5 million dollar home and discuss your vacations

I do keep track only cause my kids writes a handwritten thank you not for every gift. Now days no one shows up or bothers a gift. You get a gift card they got for free off credit card points at best for $50 bucks.

40 years ago my uncle gave me a $100 check for HS graduation and it went towards my textbooks. It paid for all of them in fact as I got used when possible. I dont think in 2025 a $50 starbucks gift card is doing much. Happy to have it.

But amazed that I sent out a FORMAL HS Graduation Invite. And 90 percent of people did not even say in a text congrats Just not coming in a text or no response

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have become horrible in general. My youngest is graduating HS and we are very proud of her. She graduated with Honors and got into Honors college.

We wanted to throw a nice HS graduation party for her fully catered. On my side we invited my two sisters, my brother, my 7 nieces and nephews who are all older with a guest. My youngest is youngest kid in family as the nephews and nieces range from 20-33 I also invited my Godfather and Uncle still alive and my four closest first cousins with their family. I sent out formal profession initiation in last March way ahead of time.

Guess what on my side 100 percent of people said NO. What the Hell. Not only that three did not even respond. Even more annoying only 2 people even gave a reason. And half did not even bother writing anything other than I am not going.

Would it kill them to text. Sorry we cant make it (make up excuse) and say congratulations.

Not looking for gifts. The party was going to cost me money. I was going to have whole house ready, we opened our pool already, my landscaper already did really good spring clean up. Was being fully catered with tables, chairs and tents. My side of family is pretty cheap. More cost effective not to do it.

My favorite rejections

First cousin, sorry I want be in your town that day so wont come.
Nephew. I wont be coming, tell her congratulations on her engagement (WTF)
Uncle I wont be coming Dinner or Desert. Thanks for making that clear.
Some were just I wont be coming.

Only one nephew wrote sorry I can not attend. My Finance and I are attending her friends engagement party that day, wish ### Happy Graduation.

If I was looking for money would not be hosting an expensive party I would just send out announcements and hope someone would send a gift.

Good news we booked a vacation for week with our family to celebrate her graduation.

On wives side she got her Mom and Sister, one aunt and a BIL to come plus a niece with husband and child . Only seven people. We are now going to skip party and just take everyone to a nice restaurant for dinner. then back to our house cake and coffee. I am letting them all stay over as I have space and breakfast in morning.


We invited 60 people. It is a shame. When my kids were younger pre Covid I had parties for kids baptism communions, birthdays and we throw on average 3-5 parties a year and we have 4-50 people each one. I always lost money. Families of five showing up with a $25 gift card to a party with dinner for five, drinks and a cake and coffee was not for gifts.

Point was a special day my child and wanted to share it. My youngest does not know her Uncles and Aunts and barely her Niece and Nephews .After getting the slap in fact I realized that I stopped getting a lot of invited in Covid to these type of parties from relatives. Now it is just weddings.

No one is sending out cards or doing family HS parties like in the past. Going forward we all have permission to ignore them. However, I will still go anyhow or write a card and send nice check or gift as I dont want to punish the kids for their parents being dicks

This is such an odd post and doesn’t connect with a thread about grad announcements.

Your bolded comment shows you do keep a tally.

Well I did send out announcements in Covid last kids graduation. Some may have viewed it as a cash grab I guess. This time a full party. MY sister with the $25 was annoying, buy a gift, bring food. Dont show up a $25 check to eat dinner for five and when you live in a 1.5 million dollar home and discuss your vacations

I do keep track only cause my kids writes a handwritten thank you not for every gift. Now days no one shows up or bothers a gift. You get a gift card they got for free off credit card points at best for $50 bucks.

40 years ago my uncle gave me a $100 check for HS graduation and it went towards my textbooks. It paid for all of them in fact as I got used when possible. I dont think in 2025 a $50 starbucks gift card is doing much. Happy to have it.

But amazed that I sent out a FORMAL HS Graduation Invite. And 90 percent of people did not even say in a text congrats Just not coming in a text or no response

As I said, you keep a tally. What a sad way to live. Hard to believe you don't see how horrible you sound when you write things like this.

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s a DC thing. It just depends who you know. We sent announcements. And, we are receiving them from a lot of DC families we know whose kids are graduating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did them. Our family does them (southern). Didn’t get nor expect money.

Same here. But we only sent to grandparents and aunts/uncles, as well as a few good friends. These are all people who would give a gift anyway.

But if it’s not for you why the passive-aggressive and judgmental post? Just don’t do it and ignore the ones you receive. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky money grab in the days of social media announcing your kid’s college choice to family. Surprisingly, I get them from people in California and Arizona. In DC it is considered gauche.

No, it isn't. Nor is it a request for money. It's traditional and formal. Not everyone uses social media, and some people think announcing on social media is gauche.

Many people don’t use social media but everyone close enough to you, knows your kid is graduating. Family knows the age of your kid. Friends know the age of your kid. There is no reason to send these except as a money grab. You may not like how that comes across, but it is 100% true.

Do you feel the same way about wedding invitations and/or announcements? How about birthdays?

FWIW, even when I’m close to friends and relatives, I don’t actually keep track of who’s graduating when — especially when it comes to the grandkids. I would give gifts anyway — even if I send them late — because I didn’t get an announcement. I do appreciate getting the graduation pictures though, which are often the only formal pictures that I’ll have of the graduates.


I wonder if the people in the “tacky” camp live more of their lives online — and assume that others do as well — vs those of us in the announcements are“traditional “ camp? I really don’t keep up with the exact ages and annual accomplishments of everyone’s kids. And, again, I’m happy to give gifts, so that’s not my issue here.

What the heck is a wedding announcement? A birthday announcement? Wth?

I am not on social media and still think they are tacky as hell.

You can’t keep track of your grandkids’ bdays? How many grandkids do you have?

When people have smaller weddings or a lot of guests who might not attend due to distance, formal wedding announcements are often sent following the wedding. “Birthdays” was a separate comment — re: expectations for keeping up. It was not linked with “announcements “.

The “grandkids” aren’t mine. If you read the thread, I responded to someone who felt that “friends know the age of your kid.” I have many close friends who have both kids and grandkids whose milestones I would happily celebrate by sending gifts — if I knew when those events occurred. Hope this helps.