OP, I recommend NAMI's Basics course. It is for parents whose kids have mental illness. There is a self-taught online version, but there are also zoom classes and some NAMI chapters offer in person.
The classes are great. It's a good review of all the major mental illnesses, treatment options, school issues, etc. Of course, in 6 weeks, you can't learn everything, but I think it would be helpful as you start this journey. Try to do an online or in person course with real people. You will also learn a lot from other parents, and you won't feel so alone. NAMI also offers support groups. |
OP here-- thank you for these resources and for all the posters who have offered support and resources. This has been so helpful in a moment when I feel helpless. We went to his therapist this afternoon. I shared the article about OCD with her privately and she said she has a colleague who specializes with children with OCD locally and she would reach out to her. Once we do the testing and get a diagnosis, we will have clarity about next steps. My DS is not doing this for attention. He is hurting and scared and we will do whatever we can to help his journey. Will come back and post once we have more information and I hope to one day be like the posters who have been there, survived the hard journey and see their children thriving as adults. |
Wonderful op! It sounds like you have the resources you need, I’m so glad. I’m so sorry for this hard time. You will get through it and your son is lucky to have you and your husband who believe him and are getting him the help he needs. |
Have you heard of Partial Hospitalization Programs? It’s day programs that help with serious mental health issues. Like Inova Keller center, discovery mood, Newport academy, embark. It sounds like your child needs more mental health services. Are you following suicide precautions at home? Lock up the knives and sharp objects, medications, any weapons. I’m sorry. My teen recently had suicidal thoughts and behavior. It’s devastating. |
You are FEEDING the behavior. Stop doing that. Support yes but not feed. HUGE difference. |
Go away, troll. |
How is your marriage OP? When my child had negative self talk and suicidal ideation it was during the period of time when my ex and I were headed towards divorce and I was deeply unhappy. Hopefully your overall household and family situation is calm and stable. |
NP. Harshly worded but kind of true. |
I’m so sorry, OP. I can tell how hard you’re trying. Sending you support. |
wth do you think op should do differently. what is "feeding" about what she's doing? |
OP here- Thanks for asking. Luckily marriage is calm and stable. We have actually gotten closer by both going to therapy and getting support on how to help him together so we are on the same page. As far as the PP who is saying we are feeding his issues--- I am not going to engage--- I know our reality and came on here to feel less alone and find resources for helping my son and our family through a very tough time. So many posters have provided me with what I need in the moment and for that I am grateful. |
Now try this with your son. Do not engage. Support by getting him new hobbies, facilitating friendships, increasing skills, spending time with him, etc. Not by perseveration of the issue. Read the literature yourself. You will be grateful later. |
Absolutely sounds like OCD to me. |
Removing family accommodation of OCD, especially suicidal OCD, is a process best done with the guidance of a trained ERP therapist and after considerable psycho- education with both parents and child. Not after some rando on the internet flippantly throws out unhelpful and non-descriptive comments. |
My DS was similar around age 10. He is approaching 13 now and better. During that period, he physically growing a foot taller and now has a man voice, so I can say puberty play a big role. He has diagnosis of Adhd and at the time has anxiety and OCD tendencies (intrusive self harm thoughts). |