Husband w/mental health issues, poor executive functioning

[Anonymous]

You need to divorce, sorry. It's not worth waiting. This situation is only going to get worse.

[Anonymous]

If he's not causing you extra money why divorce? Give him a man cave with a kitchen and ask him to stay down there most of the time and just act like a single parent with extra money than if you were a single parent. I don't see the issue. Hire someone once a month to clean up his stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another option is to do way less extra stuff. Some people can’t handle all that. I was exhausted reading your post. My husband and I don’t do most of that list. And our marriage is in solid shape and our kids have a 2 parent home.

The must do tasks are another issue and I can see why you’re frustrated. I would hire help if you can.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I laughed a little at the follow up post because we only give wrapped boxes or even bags, too. The birthday kid knows who it’s from and to and cares about what’s inside, not ribbons.

[Anonymous]

If you prefer to stay together for kids,money, loyalty or whatever reason important to you, for 1 year, let go of perfection and try to create a calm and low stress home environment for yourself, him and the kids. Cut down on kids structured activities to trim cost and logistical chaos. After that let him take the exam with a healthier mindset and increase income so you can hire help.

You need to relax as you sound genuinely overwhelmed with all that life has thrown at you. Take it easy. Even with him out of the picture, life issues are still going to be there with high need kids so taking divorce doesn't sound like an ideal solution.

I think you are really frustrated and he is really depressed due to his inability to clear his licensing exam. Put things in perspective, reset and start again.

Hugs to you for dealing with all that. It must be tough but you sound like someone who can manage it once you learn to breathe. Go on walks at least three times a week to get some sun and fresh air.

[Anonymous]

Lower your standards.

Have gifts wrapped at the store you buy them from or drop gifts and a gift bag.

[Anonymous]

Who wraps gifts? Just buy cheap bags from Dollar Store, Walmart or Ross.

Let kids enjoy making goody bags. Perfection not required.

[Anonymous]

NP. This will get worse. And OP, you may be on the hook financially for him in the future depending on the state if he loses his job and can’t get an another which seemed likely.

I also agree you are doing too much objectively but even assuming you cut back 20%, life with him seems intolerable.

You know the next step.